I am thankful for...

- My husband - a faithful man - with him you get what you get.  There is no pretence or falseness in him.  He loves the Lord and when the Lord deals with him he does what he feels. There is no act. 
He is what he is.

- My beautiful daughter Sophia - the Lord truly showed me how real He is and that He cares for me when she was born.  He let me know that He knows MY name (and hers to).

- My beautiful daughter Maya - The Lord changed my life with her in my arms at a youth meeting in Dallas, TX.  I believe He showed me that even I could make the Bride.  She is my joy.

- Air conditioning - without this life would be most miserable :o)

- The peaceful rain we received yesterday.

- The sound of the birds and a banging hammer outside, and the fact that I have the ability to hear both.

- A roof up above me.

- A soft bed and warm arms to hold me as I sleep.

- Friends

- A place to sit and have my soul fed.

- A Family of a different kind.

- A chance to be a light.  Not just to this world; but in my own home. 

- Conviction

- The times when the Lord makes me uncomfortable in order to teach and correct me.

- The times of refreshing that come in the midst of those lessons.

- That the Lord doesn't let me get too far before he yanks on my chain :o)

- That I am still here.

- For the comfort that the word of God brings.

- For the songs written in the song book of my heart.

- For the soft whispers of the Holy Ghost as I go throughout my days.

Wow...the more I write the more I find I am thankful for.  This may be my biggest folder yet LOL!!!

Thankfulness Everyday

This sounded like a really good idea and I am going to put a twist on it.  Sometimes in the midst of things going on we forget to find the good.  I am going to (as others on their blogs have done) try to write down the positive things, the things that only come from the Lord, or the things that make you content even when you aren't feeling too content. Everyday things that we take for granted.  In every situation there is something good.  I want to be able to see the good and not just the bad; so, I will be doing this as often as necessary and placing them under the label Thankful.  Truly I am blessed and have much to thank the Lord for...

Blogger

Thank you for your patience while Blogger was fixing things. 
It looks like some of the comments haven't been put on though
so if you would like to re-comment then feel free. 

Thank you :o) 

It Wont Be Like This For Long

This is a video of a song that I keep thinking about.  It is a secular song; but it really hit home.  Listen to it and then read my comments. 

It Wont Be Like This For Long

I think that it is so easy to get caught up in "living" life and just trying to make it through that sometimes I forget to cherish the days that I am in.  As my youngest has just turned 2 I realize that 2 whole years of her life has now passed.  No do-overs.  Time seems to be flying by tonight.  I almost feel like going to wake them up for a hug...almost :o) 

These are the precious days and years of our lives.  The ones where our little family is growing.  I have two beautiful daughters and if I am not careful it will all be gone in a flash; and I will have missed it all.  Lord help me to live in the day that I'm in and to cherish each and everyday I have with them.  Help me to remember them in the midst of the hustle and bustle of the day.  Don't let me forget that while I am living my life...they are too...and they will remember the good AND the bad.  Help my words to be sweet and my correction to always be wrapped in love.  Lord, help them to always know that I love them and that their lives mean something to me.  They matter to me.  They are important TO ME!!  Help me remember in the midst of the bad times that those will fade and be forgotten; but Lord help me hold on tight to all the good times.  It WONT be like this forever.  Someday things will change.  They will grow up and think that they don't need me anymore. 

Help me enjoy all the time I have with them right now...for it seems so soon it will be all gone.   

A Part of my vision!!

I was thinking about trials and I had a little thought.  I while back a minister in our church was up talking and he said that you can build a wall around yourself so tight that even God can't get in there to try you.  I know we all know that God can do anything that He wants; but as I was thinking about it today this thought dropped in my head.  You have to OPEN yourself up to be tried.  We all say I want to change and I want to overcome my nature; but really...how do you do that?  You have to go through things that teach you.  They burn some of that nature out.  You have to LEARN to overcome some things by experiences you go through.  I wish that it could all be accomplished by just having a desire to; but I think that even in that if you really have a TRUE desire to change then you will open all the windows and throw wide every door as the song says!!  Saying (and I have never said this) "OK Lord...you said that your grace was sufficient; let me have it!!"  I don't think you really have to say that.  You just have to be able to look at every situation that you go through and find God in it.  Bro. Brown said this weekend. When you are going through something do your very best to find something good that can come of it.  I agree.  Ask yourself some of these questions...What can you learn from the situation that you're in?  Is it something that you have gone through time and time again?  Is there a way of escape?  Is there something that you can do different in this situation?  Is there a level of higher ground that you can find?  Even if the Lord didn't CAUSE your situation He can use it to teach us.  Even in that...is there something I have done that has caused the place I'm in?  Can I do it different next time? 

These are things I have been thinking about today.  I really want to make it.  I don't think that these are just words to me anymore.  I actually believe that it is possible...FOR ME!!!  The Lord has given us the Holy Ghost, the Bible, the ministry; and His people as tools for our salvation.  I really believe that if I will learn to use them in the right way I CAN make the Bride.  It's not just something that I have been taught all my life.  It's not just a glorious bedtime story.  It is REALITY!!!  We have been given the opportunity to make the Bride of Christ!!  Praise the Lord!!!  Halleluia!!!!

We have a wonderful Savior!!!
He's on His throne!!
He will never forsake us!!
Nor leave us alone!!
He gave a wonderful promise!!
He can not fail!!!
And by His spirit
WE SHALL PREVAIL!!!   

I'm a Little Teapot...

Sent this in an email to my sister in law and I thought I would share it with y'all:

We are doing pretty good. A lot of changes going on in our life and I think the Lord seems to be giving us a little extra "attention" if you know what I mean; but all is well!!! If I can look in the midst of all that and see myself growing then it is all worth it right :o) I told a testimony the other night in church about a teapot. LOL!!! I said that I was in my closet getting some clothes ready for church and a picture of a teapot popped into my head. I could feel myself "the teapot" about to boil over. All the sudden I stopped and noticed that I could feel the Holy Ghost!!! I thought that is so funny...here I am fightin' mad and I feel like shouting!! I started laughing to myself. I told them that when the Lord puts us "the teapot" on that stove he has to let us get a little hot and right about the time that we "the poor teapot" think that we are either going to explode from all the pressure or just flat jump off the stove the Lord opens up that little valve on top of the pot and "WOOOOOOOOOOOOO"!!!   He let's us relieve a little bit of pressure. I am learning and growing :o)
He is teaching me everyday and just when I think that there is no hope and I have lost out low and behold He gives me another little nudge!! God is so good!! If I can give my life to Him...fully...then I know that come what may I will make it through in the end. 

My Little Happy Family

Tonight my husband took my oldest daughter to the store with him and so for about an hour it was just me and my baby girl.  For a while she sat and played with her new baby doll and I cleaned up dinner.  I began to notice how quiet it was.  My first thought was...wow...that's nice.  As I listened further I noticed that there was no sound of fighting, or laughing; or crying.  Maya played quietly and I cleaned.  After a little bit I noticed that Maya began to aimlessly walk around.  She never said a word; but I think she was looking for her playmate.  I thought about how that I was so thankful that her and Sophia had each other.  Then I thought back to a time when they weren't a part of my life yet.  What did I do?  I thought how lonely and boring my life had been.  When Phillip was at work I was alone.  I had no one to talk to, no one to hug.  All of the sudden I had a glimpse of what my life would be like without the other half of my family.  Lonely.  Yes it may be quieter; but I wouldn't trade the laughing, crying, noise that goes on everyday for anything.  It may sometimes be chaotic; but my life is full of joy.  I may never get all the laundry done at one time...I may always have that one lonely dish that failed to make it in the dishwasher; but I am happy.  I wouldn't trade any of that for all the quiet you could offer.  I love my little happy family.  Thank you Lord...for your blessings on me.   

My Beautiful Little Princess Maya

Today my sweet baby turned 2 years old. 

I am so thankful for this little bundle of energy

that I get to watch everyday!! 

She is an amazing little girl :o)

Her crown her Big Sister made her...

 Her princess dress

she got from Daddy and Mommy.

 

Feeding her birthday baby...

She was sooo excited!!  She LOVES cake :o)

Happy Mother's Day :o)

"I am blessed.

I am blessed.

Everyday that I live

I am blessed.

When I wake up

In the morning

And I lay my head to rest

I am blessed.

I am blessed."



Joy That Lasts

A little chorus the Lord let me write down for Him...


"It's down in my soul
This joy that lasts.
This peace within
That comes from Him.
A happiness this world
Can never give.
It's in a life
Given all to Him."

4-18-2011

Fun in the sun...

April 2011

In My Father's Eyes

Today as I watched my girls run in to show their Daddy their new Easter dresses I remembered something I heard a long time ago...

"Inside every woman is a little girl who still wants to look pretty for her daddy."

As I thought about this I thought how true.  The power to shape my daughter's very self-esteem rests in this one little scenario.  At that very moment he has the opportunity to teach them so much. 

As they twirl he exclaims with all the enthusiasm he can muster..."OH...you look SO pretty"! 
To which both little girls beam and smile...knowing deep down inside that their Daddy thinks they are beautiful.  It matters not what anyone else may say because at that moment their Daddy is their whole world!! 

I thought about myself...

I was 28 or 29 years old and I walked into church in an outfit I wasn't sure looked right on me.  Even married with 2 children.  My Dad saw me as I walked in and said "My, doesn't that outfit look nice on you".  Even at my age I walked a little bit taller. 

I also thought about my husband...

Now instead of needing my Dad's approval as much (I still do need it) I now look to my husband for that little extra assurance that I am OK.  Still when I get dressed I walk in an ask my husband if I look alright.  Sometimes I get a half hearted  "you look fine"; but then there are those occasions when I get the double take ;o) 

I agree with the above statement...in every woman there is a little girl looking for approval. 

One of those days that makes you say...Whew!!

Today was one of those days that never had a chance.  Fought my youngest to go to sleep for an hour last night.  When she finally made it to sleep my oldest woke up every hour almost asking for me to wipe her nose.  To top it off my youngest decides to wake me up at 5 am screaming to get out of her room.  When it was finally my "official" time to get up I was already in the throws of a major melt down!!  In my mind I was asking the Lord for help.  I knew already that if I didn't get a handle on this day then it was just going to spiral me into a complete oblivion. 

I was standing at the sink singing:

"I need just a little more mercy than you gave me yesterday.
Just a little more strength the battles a little bit harder today.
I need a bit more of that water of life to keep my soul alive.
I want to be ready I want to be in your Bride."

I got up and began moving around and preparing for the day.  I sat down on the couch exhausted beyond belief and decided that I could not stay in this house.  If I did I was going to lose it completely.  I needed a distraction for a little while.  I needed fabric softener and some stuff for the girls' Easter outfits so I headed to the store.  There my 2 children proceeded to each have their own little melt downs resulting in me screaming at both of them the moment we got back into the car.  Not a good day and it was only noon.  When I began to put them to bed my youngest begins screaming.  This is a new habit she has formed in the last 3 days.  Last night she literally screamed so hard she puked!!  So for nap today she starts all this over again.  I had absolutely no patience left.  I had left it all in "yesterday" and it hadn't caught up with "today".  I started screaming at the top of my lungs "JESUS I NEED YOUR HELP RIGHT NOW"!!!  I didn't know what else to do.  All I knew was that if I didn't get help I was going to put my head through a wall (not literally of course that's just how I felt).  They stopped screaming and so I went to my knees in their room and started praying (a little calmer now).  I was asking the Lord to help my youngest feel peace in her room so that she could sleep and that He would let me calm down and see it from a different perspective.  By the end I still had to be firm with her to get her to lay down; but she has now been asleep for about an hour and a half.  I realized it as I sat here that I could feel "my crazy" melting away.  That's what I call this feeling that sometimes comes out.  I say "oops...my crazy is showing".  N-e-ways, I am thankful that even in the midst of desperation He is there.  He hears me and answers.  I still have to learn to control my crazy; but He is right there to help when I need Him.

I have been singing "Heaven is not so far away" all week and I am learning that that is true.  I can change my elevation in the midst of situations by calling on the Lord.  I hope to remember this in situations to come.  At His name every knee shall bow!!!!        

Heaven is not so far away!!!

GOOD MORNING!!!!

Today is a brand new day!! A new day, a new opportunity to gain a little ground. One step at a time. Keep Jesus first today and remember that Heaven is not so far away.

Heaven is not so far away

When we sing and shout and pray.

For our Father lends an ear.

Jesus presence is so near.

Heavenly hosts will help us sing

Glorious praises to our King.

We can live there from day to day

HEAVEN IS NOOOOOOOOTTTT SO FAR AWAY!!!
 
 
"Trying to learn to ABIDE in 2nd Heaven."  Bro. Gary Wright 
 
Heaven is a condition we can get into and live in day to day.  We can cook, clean, train our children, and go to work in 2nd Heaven.  Let's change our elevation to day.  Maybe for just one day.  And maybe that can lead to another day, and another day, and another!!! 
 
Heaven is Noooooooootttttt so far away!!!!!  Praise the Lord!!!

Galveston 2011

We spent the last 2 days relaxing and doing nothing.  I KNOW who'd a thunk it!!! 

We stayed for 2 days and one night at Jamaica Beach in Galveston, TX.  We played in the sand, built sand castles; and just plain enjoyed ourselves.  Thank you Lord for this time.  Thank you Lord for my little family.

Cute little dirty shoes!! 

I loved this picture.

and...

a couple little dirty legs...

I thought this was a cute idea.

Daddy made the castle...

Mommy made the mote...

And the girls added the duckies :o)

Got these in an email and thought they were adorable!!! 

*********************************************************************

What Love means to a 4-8 year old . . ...


Slow down for three minutes to read this. It is so worth it. Touching words from the mouth of babes.

A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds, 'What does love mean?'

The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined See what you think:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
'When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore.

So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love.'

Rebecca- age 8
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
'When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different.

You just know that your name is safe in their mouth.'

Billy - age 4
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
'Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other.'

Karl - age 5
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
'Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs.'

Chrissy - age 6
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
'Love is what makes you smile when you're tired.'

Terri - age 4
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
'Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK.'

Danny - age 7
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
'Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more.

My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss'

Emily - age 8
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
'Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen.'

Bobby - age 7 (Wow!)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
'If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate,'

Nikka - age 6

(we need a few million more Nikka's on this planet)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
'Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday.'

Noelle - age 7
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
'Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well.'

Tommy - age 6
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
'During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling.

He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore.'

Cindy - age 8
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
'My mommy loves me more than anybody

You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night.'

Clare - age 6
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
'Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken.'

Elaine-age 5
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
'Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford.'

Chris - age 7
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
'Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day.'

Mary Ann - age 4
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
'I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones.'

Lauren - age 4
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
'When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you.' (what an image)

Karen - age 7
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
'Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's gross.'

Mark - a ge 6
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
'You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget.'

Jessica - age 8
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
And the final one

The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife.

Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there.

When his Mother asked what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said,

'Nothing, I just helped him cry'

Expectations

I was sitting here thinking on something and thought I would put the question out there to you.  As a woman I feel like I should be able to do it all.  Maybe if I plan it perfect, or give up a little more sleep maybe I can be the super woman I have envisioned for myself.  All the while keeping my spirit right!!  I realize that these are unrealistic expectations; but somewhere in our make up as a woman we feel this is a requirement.  I know that I put harsh requirements on myself everyday and that when I fail to meet them I get discouraged and give up a little.  When I got married I had high hopes of being the perfect wife.  I am not.  When I had children I decided that I was going to be the greatest mom EVER.  I am not.  My question is this...

How do I strive for the Bride; and be a mom, and a wife?  All at the same time?  If I give 100% to each that is 300%.  It seems that when I give one the proper attention the other gets neglected.  How do I set reasonable standards for myself and learn to juggle? 

Please feel free to reply.

Battleship of TEXAS

Today we had a great day just being a normal family. 

We went with our church to The San Jacinto Monument and The Battleship of TEXAS.
We packed a lunch and had a picnic.  When we were done we ate snow cones in the park. 

It was so nice to get away (even for a little while) and just be a family.  It is so easy to get caught up in life; but then the Lord gives us these little days to remind us of how good life really is.  We had so much fun and I am thankful for this day with my family. 

DailySchedule

I'm sure this will have to be revised; but it's a start. 
And no I probably will not stick to the exact time. 

Daily Schedule

(Monday – Friday)

7:30 am – Wake up. Read Bible. Pray. Get dressed.

8:00 am – Throw a load of laundry in. Start getting things set for the morning routine.

                    Breakfast/clean up for the kiddos.

9:00 am – Start School.

                    Group time – Prayer and Bible verse for the day.

9:30 am – Work books or pages

10:00 am – Work box activity. Switch out laundry. Put away dishes. Get craft ready.

11:00 am – Outside play

12:00 pm – Free play while I make lunch.

12:30 pm - Clean up and wash hands.

1:00 pm – Lunch. Clean up. Story/Quiet time.

2:00 – 3:30 pm - Nap time. Mommy quiet time.

3:30 pm – Wake up the kiddos. Signing times or other educational DVD.

4:00 pm - Craft time. Or coloring. Play dough. Etc…

5:00 pm - Free Play while I make dinner.

6:30 pm – Dinner and clean up

7:30 pm – Play with Mommy and Daddy

8:30 pm - Baths and quiet time before bed.

9:00 pm – Kiddos to bed. My prep for the next day and pick up.

10:30 pm – Go to bed!!!

Do I have what it takes? No; but HE does.

Sophia our first born is reaching the age to where it is time to start thinking about her education.  She is only 3; but already I can tell that she is becoming very bored with her everyday life of playing.  She needs more.  As I started thinking about all this I began thinking about my options.  Option 1 - We found a great little mother's day out down the street that she absolutely loved.  Option 2 -  I could try to invent ideas to try and occupy her.  Option 3 - to put her in 2 day mother's day out for the social reasons and then spend my 5 days at home with her teaching her myself.  Or we could continue on this path that we are on.  Not an option anymore.  My children need more.  I need more.     
I have found in my life that I am a very schedule oriented person.  Even though I don't have one written out I tend to do the same things in the same order every time.  I have also learned in the last few months that when something interrupts that unwritten schedule my whole world falls apart.  Not good as life always happens.  I need a schedule; but I need one that is flexible and leaves room for life to happen. 
I have gotten so off kilter lately that I have felt that I have been going around in circles.  No progress.  Now that the Lord has helped me with my relationship with Phillip I think He is moving on to my relationship with my children.  I am going to say this and you may disagree or even laugh...now that we are moving into this new stage in our lives (preschool) I must admit that infancy was easier.  I know with all the craziness of that it sounds crazy; but I think it's true.  They couldn't talk back and I could appease them with a bottle or food.  LOL!!  It doesn't work like that anymore.  I find myself losing my temper now more than ever before.  Over silly stuff.  The lessons are getting harder.  Lord help me when I have 2 teenagers in the house!!! 
In my quest for organization I am finding that not just my home needs organizing; but my life.  I have just kind of went along with the flow and now it is catching up with me.  If I don't take hold (with the Lord's help of course) of my days I am just giving them over to whatever decides it's interested.  I keep thinking about places in the Bible that talk about the unprofitable servant, and the slothful; and worse yet the house that was clean and swept. 
I could continue on; but I will get to the point.  I am horrible about planning and follow through.  That would be the Choleric part of me.  I can plan like a champ; but my follow through is lacking.  So I am asking for your prayers as I go on this journey.  It is MY job as a mother to teach my children the way to go; and I feel that need so much lately.  I have been neglectful in this area of my home and the Lord has really been dealing with me about this.  As I'm sure you can tell by my previous posts.  I want my husband and children to call me blessed.  Not because I am so great; but because I did everything I could to make them feel great!!!  I want Christ's love to shine through like never before.  How can I expect to be a true and faithful witness for the Lord if my life does not back up my words?  Lord help me.  
Once I figure it out I will post my schedule on here as a kind of accountability test.  Maybe if I know you all are watching me I will be more apt to doing it.  I am giving it a month in which I will try to work all the kinks out and then hopefully starting in September we will be off to the races.  I feel my inadequacies very strongly; but I feel the need for a change.  I know that I do not have the strength; but HE does.   

Time to SHOP!!!

Here is a little blog I have been working on for a while.  It's a little bit of my hobbies and then things I need to let go of.  In my quest to an organized and clean house I have decided what better way to get rid of my treasures than to share them with you.  Most of the things have prices on them; but on anything that's not handmade I am willing to negotiate.   ENJOY!!! 

http://trsrdtrnkts.blogspot.com/   

An end of a Challenge

Well, my 30 days have ended and I can say that my life has truly been changed.  This has changed the way I speak and even the way I think.  I actually think about the things that come out of my mouth.  Even if I don't always catch them before they fly out I do evaluate them afterward.  I am learning and am so thankful that the Lord led me to try this little challenge.  I think I may do it again just for fun!!  =D

Halleluia Praise Report!!!

A few weeks ago I gave a testimony in church about how that the Lord had delivered me from the anger and bitterness I had allowed into my heart towards my husband.  This was a humiliating thing to admit; but the Lord really did something for me. 

It had gotten to the point that before Phillip would even walk into the room I could feel it taking over.  I couldn't even speak to him civilly; and my children were even being affected by my anger.  They were learning my ways.  Lord help me!!  One Sunday night I felt like I was losing my mind as well as any salvation I had left.  I had absolutely no control over myself or my emotions.  It was horrible.  Bro. Robert Seaton got up and began talking about how that he felt that the Lord wanted to touch us.  He said that in order for us to be touched we must get rid of our PRIDE, SELFISHNESS; and ARROGANCE.  These are the 3 things the Lord had been dealing with me about. 

Pride - to proud to walk down front for help

Selfishness - By holding onto this (out of pride) and not seeking help for the benefit of my family.  They were suffering because of my pride.

Arrogance - By thinking that this could NOT happen to me.

I had reached the point that it did not matter what happened that I had to get help.  If I didn't I was going to destroy my family.  He made the altar call and I stepped out into the aisle.  We went down as a family.  We went down for ME.  I needed help!!
Needless to say that by the time I got to the end of the prayer line I had been delivered.

I told you the background so that you would understand the victory part better =) 

One of the things that I had been so angry about was Phillip not being able to be at church with me.  Once again not thinking of him; but my own selfishness I would get so mad because I had to go ALONE.  That is the key word.  I felt alone.  I feel like this is where the devil started talking to me.  I failed to realize that Phillip hated it to.  He didn't WANT to go to work and miss church; but he has no choice.  He hates missing church just as much if not more than I hate him not being there.  For now he is right where the Lord wants him and in this economy I am just really thankful that he has a job.  I don't know what I was thinking. 

This Sunday night I feel like the Lord tested me on this a bit.  Well maybe not the Lord, I don't know; but the whole service was on marriage.  It was really a neat little service.  Very straight forward in a lot of ways; but very needed too!!  Phillip had to work so he had to miss it.  At the end of this service all the married couples gathered down front and sang the song "At the End of the Trail" to each other while they held hands.  It really was very sweet. 

As I was watching them I felt that feeling of sadness (subtle...not full blown anger as before) as I watched them and thought "I sure wish Phillip was here".  As soon as that thought crossed my mind I pushed it away and thought "He's not here; but my heart is there with him.  Lord touch him.  Let him feel you right now".   I almost started crying.  Well I am now as I write this.  I feel the Holy Ghost backing me up.  I had an opportunity to allow that anger and bitterness back into my life; but the Lord created a way of escape for me once again.  Instead I prayed for him.  Phillip may not physically be there with me; but I know without a shadow of doubt that his heart is there.  He would much rather be sitting beside me in church than working with a bunch of worldly men.  =o) 

As I was driving home in my mind I held Phillip's hands and told him I love him and I am so thankful that he puts his own needs and wants aside for our family.  How can I not do the same?  How can I not lay down my life for my friend...my best friend. 

This is my shout of VICTORY!!!! 

Thankful

Knight in Shining Armor

Today's 30 - Day Challenge

"Be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart, all you who hope in the LORD." (Psalm 31:24)


You have almost completed the "30-Day Husband Encouragement Challenge." Perhaps it has taken you a tremendous amount of courage to speak words of ecouragement consistently to your husband. Courage comes as we place our trust in God. Have faith that God will continue to work long after your encouraging words have been shared.

There are lots of "tough guys" in the world, but true courage comes from the Lord. Does your husband exhibit the courage to take an unpopular stand, perhaps even to stand alone against evil? Is he courageous in his faith? Does he work hard to change injustice? Is he a stickler for the truth? Does he protect you or your family from the attacks of the Enemy?

Psalm 27:14 says this kind of courage comes from "waiting" on the Lord for His strength. If your budget allows, "award" your husband with a medal, trophy, framed picture of a brave knight, or some other token that represents his courage as a man of God. Praise evidences of your husband's courage in protecting you, your marriage, your family, or your home.

 
^ I had a hard time figuring out how to do this and make it fit me; but this is how I did it.  
 
I bought this little knight figurine and then looked up the definition of knight.  I then put this letter and the knight in a box with a bow and gave it to him. 
 
He actually thought it was really sweet.  =0)
 
 

 

Dear Phillip,


I know this gift is a little odd; but it does have a purpose.

By definition – a KNIGHT is:

- a member of the warrior class (strong, mighty, powerful)

- holds a position of honor and prestige (In our family you hold the highest position, the head of our home; and we respect you as such. You are loved and honored by us.)

- sworn to uphold values (you daily show us your love, loyalty, courage; and your commitment to our family.)

- servant (you daily lay down your own wants, desires, hopes, and dreams to make sure we have all that we need.)

You by definition are a knight!!

You are our knight in shining armor and we…I love you with all my heart.

Crushing of the Rose

It takes the crushing of the rose…


Someone visited our church a while back and talked about that song; and as I laid here in bed tonight thinking about it I decided I couldn’t sleep, so here I am.

I know in my own life as well as some of those of you I have talked to personally the Lord seems to be giving us a little special attention. It seems like the Lord is down on His hands and knees and really working in our garden. I know that in me He is rooting out some things that have been there for years. Some that exist and we have been completely unaware of. I’m talking about things that have shaped the way we think, act; and feel. Things that have been so much a part of our nature that when they are gone you are surprised at how different you feel. Those things.

I remember hearing a local minster here talking one night about walls; and how that we can even build walls of protection around us so that we prevent the Lord from working on us. I remember him saying that we think because nothing is going major wrong in our lives that we’re doing alright; but in truth we are going nowhere. That really struck home with me. (song – Lord My Heart Is Open…has a whole new meaning) That you even have to open yourself up and say “Ok Lord, try me. I want to be clean”. Then when He starts that process we have to resist the temptation to hide behind those walls again. We have to hold ourselves onto the Potter’s Wheel. Bro. Brown often says we need to say that eternal yes and I wonder if maybe this is part of it. Yes Lord. It is often said that the Lord is a gentleman and He stands at the door and knocks. He does have the power to knock down that door if He chooses; but He chooses to leave that decision up to us. Will we open the door and let Him in to look around number one and then allow Him to ultimately clean house?

As I was thinking about these things I thought about my own life recently. I know that the Lord has been rooting out things. This is a tough process, as one who has lived behind walls for so long it is hard not to run for them at every opportunity. I can even name my walls I’ve lived behind them so long. =0) In my mind I understand that this is a process and that it is necessary; but to my heart, my emotions, my feelings I still cry OUCH!!! I think for me it is harder to nail myself to the cross. I am the one who has her legs and one hand nailed with the other hand free…just in case. Lord help me.

We may not know why the Lord has allowed things to happen or feelings to surface; but have faith that the LORD knows what He’s doing. If you let Him have complete control we will understand it better bye and bye. Go to Him. Let Him have His way. Just think when that root is gone out of your soil the Lord can go back and fill it up with good ground. All you will have lost will be the weed.

Don't know who wrote this; but I love the words:

"Hold on. Hold on.

Through every storm HOLD ON.

Even in the Darkest night

We walk by faith and not by sight.

Hold on. Hold on."

Radio Feed - 30 Day Challenge

If you haven't already signed up to do this here is the radio spot of them talking about it.  It is wonderful.    This challenge has been amazing.  It is like we are dating again.  And all it took was me commiting to make him feel respected.  Thank you Lord for the wonderful man you have given me.  Thank you for leading me to this challenge.

http://www.reviveourhearts.com/radio/roh/today.php?pid=10760

Stagnant

Stagnant - You can be happy and thankful for where you are; but in order to not become stagnant you must keep pressing for more. Be content; but not to the extent that you no longer want more of Him.


"I'm gonna keep on working till He comes till He comes..."

That was my thought for the day.

PRESS ON toward the mark.

Sometimes it's ...a fight; but it's never a game.

His Heart Doth Safely Trust

Pro 31:11 -12

-The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.


-She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.

Yesterday this scripture kept going over and over in my mind until I had to go look it up.  As I read it I began to think about what it really was saying. 

IF the wife will treat her husband well and not evil...then her husband will feel safe enough to give her his whole heart. 

His whole heart.  His whole devotion.  His whole faithfulness.  He wont have any need to fill that part of his heart with anything other than you!!

One reason that a husband may feel afraid to give us his whole heart is because maybe he has done that in the past (maybe more than once) and has lived to regret it.  Maybe (for lack of a better example) he has said to himself "one more time" and handed you his heart and you promptly placed it into a meat grinder.  I can say this because I have done this over and over myself.  I have apologized, to only turn around and do the same things again.  I know that there will be times that mistakes will come; but at the same time I have to actually be TRYING not to make them.

I feel like this scripture was talking to me.  For so long I have griped and griped about wanting that whole hearted perfect relationship when in truth I WAS THE ONE preventing that very thing from happening.  Could it be possible that I was sabotaging myself???  I think so.

If every time my husband gives me his heart I spend the next day, month, year picking the rest of him apart what's to stop him from taking his heart back; and worse yet someday giving up completely and giving his heart to someone else?  Wow, that's a sobering thought!!  I don't want my husband to feel safe with anyone; but me.  I want to be the one that he gives his whole self to.  Next to the Lord I WANT TO BE THE ONE!!  I want him to feel safe with me.  I want him to be able to trust me in everything.  I want him to KNOW that I will stand beside him forever.  If I want him to be the head of our home then I have let him know that I will follow!!!

I know that this is sobering; but the Lord is really working in our home and for that I am so thankful.  A while back the Lord dealt with me that the greatest calling (regardless of what I do for the church) I have been given right now is to be the keeper of our home.  It is my responsibility to keep the bad out and fill it with the good.  I asked the Lord to help me with this and I feel that He is.  By no means has this been an easy thing, and it has stirred up all kinds of things; but I really firmly believe that the Lord is cleaning house.  The Lord is moving His church on and He is starting individually.    

Day 9 - Husband Encouragement Challenge

Well it is only day 9 of this challenge and I must admit that this has been a really eye-opening experience.  By doing my best to not say negative things and take more time to say positive things to my husband I have seen a real difference in our home.  Not just on his part; but mainly on my part. 

His part - He seems a lot happier and more smiley (if that makes any sense). 

We have done a lot of laughing together and this may seem sad; but it is just the truth...when you have built a relationship on negative communication it actually feels weird to be...happy.  I feel like we are learning each other all over again.  Learning how to say nice things to each other and not hurtful.  We are having fun doing things FOR THE OTHER PERSON.

My part - I believe that by spending more time looking for things I can compliment him on it has taken my focus off all the little annoying things.  Which in turn has made me much happier.  Instead of looking at the dark negative things I feel like I have been shown the light!!

It is funny how something as simple as this challenge could have such a great impact on our home.  Can't wait to see what else this month holds for us.  Praise the Lord!!!

Day 5 - 30 Day Challenge

I signed up for a 30 Day Encourage Your Husband Challenge and today's assignment was to tell my parents and his how I feel about my husband. This is something surprisingly hard and embarrassing for me to do. I am fine sharing how I feel about most things; but this seems to be so private it's intimidating. I do however want to do this challenge whole heartily so here goes.


When I was a little girl I always imagined being married and having my own family. Like most little girls I had it all planned out. I can already see in my daughters this natural wifely and motherly instinct taking hold. It is funny how that we fall in love with the idea of being a wife and mommy before really knowing what all that will entail.

When Phillip was 11 he moved to Houston, TX. From the first moment I saw him I knew that he was the man/boy for me. Some say that at that age you can't possibly know; but I did. As our lives went on I dated others; but always would come back to Phillip. None could compare. He was the one!!

When we got married I was in love with the idea of love. I knew that I loved Phillip and that I wanted to spend my life with him; but I had no idea what a wife was supposed to be and I will readily admit that for the last 11 years he has put up with a lot. He has never left...physically or mentally. He has a lot more patience and mercy than I have ever thought about having. He truly LOVES me.

Phillip is a GREAT provider. He willingly sacrifices his wants and even his needs to give everything he has to me and our two girls. He gives his time, his body; and every last cent of his money to make a life for us that he feels we deserve. I hope that one day I will actually DESERVE it.

Phillip is a FANTASTIC father. He loves his children more than life itself and would lay down his life if it was required for them. He is caring and considerate with them. They are his BIGGEST fans. =D

Phillip is my BEST FRIEND. There is no one besides the Lord that loves and cares for me the way he does. He takes more abuse than any man I know and still will reach over to comfort and listen to me.

Phillip is my PROTECTOR. When he is gone I have a hard time sleeping because he sleeps with his arms around me most of the night. In his arms I am safe. I know that I can trust him because I KNOW that he loves me.

I could go on and on; but this note would get very mushy very fast. The truth is that I love him more than just about anything. I do not deserve how good he is to me; but I do intend to spend the rest of my life trying my best to prove to him that I love and appreciate him.


I don't just love him for the things that he does for me; but I love him for just being there. Staying when I know that most men would have run the other way. For making me fee like the most important woman in the world.

I love you Phillip...more than any words I type could ever say. You are the man that goes beyond my dreams!!!



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30 Days to Encourage Your Husband *Day 3 Update below

I am a person that is very hard on myself.  I feel like I KNOW the teachings of this Body and so that leaves no excuses for mistakes.  I am working on this.  As well as being hard on myself I have realized that I expect the same of my husband and my children.  I know that these are unrealistic expectations and I am working on that as well.  In all of my soul searching the last few months I have realized that I can be very merciful and patient with others; but when it comes to my husband and my children I am critical and harsh.  This realization is nothing short of painful for me.  To realize that you have hurt the people closest to you is heart breaking to say the least.  I have been trying to rebuild this relationship; but have found that sometimes the only thing that I can do is pray and keep my mouth SHUT!!!  I have watched my daughter Sophia and she wants to please me so much and I want her to know more than anything that I love her and accept her.  I have the job as her mother to help shape her confidence in herself.  I want her to believe in herself.  Both of my girls.  And my poor husband...he works so hard to provide not just our needs; but all of our wants.  He does a great job and I spend 90% of my time pointing out his flaws instead of praising him for the good he does.  Lord help me!!  This brings me to the title of this post.  I was online and looking at one of my favorite sight's and this was the article that popped up.

  http://www.reviveourhearts.com/challenge/husband-encouragement/#comments

It is something that I think I am going to try.  For the details click on the link; but I wanted to post it in case others were interested. 

I will try to post any interesting things that occur.  Hopefully I will regain the trust and confidence from him that I so desire.  I am determined that if I will let the Lord help me HE WILL!!!  (Per my Aunt Karen =)  He has already so many times before!!


**Day 3 - So far so good.  I have been doing my best to NOT say anything negative to Phillip or about Phillip.  This has been really encouraging because instead of focusing on the negative I have been looking for the positive.  It is amazing how this has changed MY outlook.  We have had a few very pleasant days.  I am excited to see what the rest of the month holds!!

Help Button

I had this silly little thought. You know when you are in a site like FB and you are having trouble with it...there is a little button usually at the bottom of the page that days HELP? I got to thinking about that button and that how if you need help you can just push that little button; and this nice little box pops up with all these different things you may need help with. Sometimes it will give you options or steps to try with that subject. It also gives the option that if your "problem" is not listed below you can run a troubleshooting session on your computer. If that doesn't help there is another option to try...you may need to run a diagnostic test on your computer. I got to thinking about this. Sometimes spiritually when you push that help button your "problem" pops right up with all the directions on how to solve it; but then there are other times when your "problem" is not listed. It's at that time you need to allow the Holy Ghost to run a diagnostic check. Allow it to go down deep and touch that part of you that is malfunctioning. You would be surprised at the problems that can be fixed by just allowing the Holy Ghost free reign in your life.




And that was my thought. =D



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Humbled

As I was driving home yesterday I was singing the song the Lord had given me this weekend.  As I was singing I heard my daughter (Sophia) trying her best to sing along with me.  I stopped to listen and she said "Mom, sing it again".   I began to sing again and then after a few times asked her to sing it for me.  She said " No mom, you sing it with me".   I could hardly sing I was so choked up.  Some of my fondest memories are singing in the car with my mother; and there on that very day I got to sing in the car with my daughter.  It humbled me to hear the words the Lord had allowed me to write down for Him, coming from her mouth.  She loves to sing and I hope that she always holds these songs near to her heart.  The songs of the Body of Christ.  The songs that overflow with this truth that I love and hold so dear.  Right now 2 songs that she sings over and over are "Lord I Want To Go", and "I Came Here To Praise You".  I am so blessed.  Maya also loves to sing.  Right now her favorite song is Veggie Tales or anything that her sister is singing at the time.  She does her very best to sing right along.  I am so very blessed.  Thank you Lord for planting the seeds and Lord help me to help you cultivate them into something that you can use.

The Remedy

A little chorus the Lord gave me this weekend.

I was listening to Bro. George Wright and he said "He is the remedy for all humanity"; and my mind began going ninety miles and hour.


I've got the remedy
For all humanity
Just come and follow me.

If you'll give up control
I can make you whole
And set your spirit free.

If you will follow me
Then I will lead you
My people you will be.

So come on my child
Come on, let go
And let me set you free.

Joy in the Camp

"Joy is not the absence of storms, it's learning to dance in the rain."

I saw this quote somewhere and my mind began working.

Finding joy in the midst of chaos is sometimes hard.  Well, honestly it is always hard.  Joy hides in places your carnal mind wont look.  Joy is something that you can't buy, you can't sell; and if you look for it in the flesh you wont find it.  Joy goes BEYOND happiness.  I can pretend to be happy; but in order to find true joy...that flows from within.
Joy comes when you look at your circumstances and see a bigger picture.  That this chaos is somehow for our good even though we can't see why yet.  I know that sometimes it is hard to see the BIG picture; but it's at those times that the Lord gives us grace.  Grace for what?  To endure.  Why must you endure?  You endure because you have been given hope of a promise.  A promise of life eternal. 
I am not saying that I have this down pat.  I do NOT!!!  I have to continually remind myself of this; and when I can't seem to remember it the Lord is so faithful to remind me.  He send a song, a testimony; or a message my way that helps me remember why I endure.  That feeling begins to wash over me and I remember.  That peace, and comfort; and yes...even JOY returns to give me that little push to go a little further. 

"It's not by might, nor by strength; but by my spirit..."

He said He would never leave us or forsake us.  You may find yourself in the midst of chaos; but look around He's right there.  Don't allow yourself to end up in the ditch of sadness, complaining; or depression.  Call on the name of JESUS!!!!  If all you can do is stand in your living room and holler HELP, holler help!!!!!  HE WILL HEAR YOU!!!!! 

"Then you ask me why I love Him.
Why I choose to walk this way.
Why His service it gets sweeter everyday.
It's the only life worth living.
And it makes my world complete.
Oh THAT'S what Jesus means to me!!!!"

Just A Note

I am going to be adding a lot in the near future.  I have felt for a long time to do this and so slowly; but surely I am going to put my hand to the plow.  I hope that the things that I post are uplifting, encouraging; and that they give you a little hope in the midst of the chaos.  I know that everyday I learn something from my children and my husband.  We have been given the greatest classroom opportunity...LIFE.  I am excited and humbled at the chance to share mine with you.  So...here we go.  If you want you have my permission to recommend this to someone; but I do ask that it is someone that you believe is trustworthy since I do have pics of my children on here.  Just have them send me their email and I will be happy to add them.  Thank you for taking the time to read a few pages out of my book.

It Does Matter

My heart is so overwhelmed and my mind is just racing so the way I resolve that is to write.


It is amazing to me the amount of people that can feel the Lord dealing with them on things in their lives and know that the Lord is tugging on them; and yet still they think that you can live with one foot in the world and one foot in the church. It breaks my heart actually to see them struggle within themselves everytime they are at church only to get a little bit of relief and go right back to doing the things the Lord has convicted them of. Don't we know the affect it has on our life. I'm talking to me as well because it seems that we all fight this battle somewhere in our walk with the Lord over something we're holding onto. We are either in or out. The Bible says that the lukewarm (one foot in and one foot out) He would eventually spew out of His mouth. We all know this; but to really understand what all that entails I think would spur more of us into action. Yes, I believe the Lord gives second chances, and Yes I think that He has mercy for us; but I do think that eventually it will come down to one last chance. We will either say that "eternal yes" the ministers have been talking about or we will say to the Lord "No, Lord, you know I think I can handle this all on my own".

God forbid!!!! Where would we be without the Lord??? I know the answer to that question in my own life and where I would be is not worth mentioning at all!! I owe Him my life. MY LIFE!!! That is what He wants from each and everyone of us. OUR LIFE. Not to question when He says jump; but to jump with all my might. Bro. Brown tells this story about Bro. Patton and him that I think is kind of funny; but so true for me. He said that if the Lord told Bro. Patton to jump out a window he would just do it. Bro. Brown (like me I think) would have to look out the window and see how far down it was and where the best place to land would be. I am sorry to say that more often than not when the Lord has dealt with me in my own life I tend to relate more to Bro. Brown. I feel like that the time for that in my own likfe is slowly dwindling away. I don't feel like in my life the Lord is pleased with that anymore. Why would the Lord send me before the kings of this world to speak for Him if I question every thing He asks me to do in my own life now. How can the Lord trust me if I don't trust Him. He said if I would keep His commandments that I could have eternal life. What is better than that?

Lord help me to take my foot out of the world and plant them both in you!!!

I had this experience one time the Lord was asking me to give up some things I'd been holding onto. I was really getting a good blessing and I had this picture of those big bulky plastic bracelets. You know the ones you can get in all shapes an sizes? I had them all up and down my arms and written on them were things that I'd been holding onto.
Ex. - hurts, pride, even getting down to the specifics written on these bracelets.
The Lord would have me to look at one of them and he would ask me to take it off and drop it to the floor. Now I wasn't physically doing this, it was all in my head. I would fight a bit; but then I would take off the bracelet and drop it to the floor. This happened several times and the more I took off the deeper I went in the spirit. It was a wonderful expereince. I felt that the Lord was showing me that if I would be willing to take those burdens off that I could have more of Him. To this day I think of that when He starts dealing with me about something. If I can let go of what I'm holding onto I can have more of Him; and untimately there will be none of me left only Him!!!

Praise the Lord!! Ok, now maybe I can sleep.



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My Testimoney

Gelina Gilbert asked me to write this a while back...



My testimony...what would I consider my testimony? Since I have been here all my life my testimony may not be quite as spectacular as others. I guess my testimony would be a testimony of the love and mercy of the Lord shed abroad in my life.

When I was 8 or 9 years old the Lord in His own simple way began to show me my need for Him in my life. I gave my heart to Jesus on the edge of my parents bed while blow drying my hair for church. My parents were in the room at the time and I always wondered if they noticed that I was crying and talking to the Lord; but they never said. They let me have my moment with the Lord. From that time on I began to seek the Holy Ghost. I remember one time I was down front and after I was done praying my mother asked me if I thought I got the Holy Ghost. She never said I did or didn't. She wanted me to know for myself. I told her I thought so; but I really hadn't got it. Later on at a Vacation Bible School in spring, TX when I was nine I was down front praying with some of my friends to get the Holy Ghost and something happened. I basically lost track of where I was and what I was doing. To this day I don't remember speaking in tongues right then; but I think that's the moment I actually got it. Later on during that week some of us were all in a circle praying down front and I closed my eyes, opened my mouth; and out came the Holy Ghost. I heard myself. When my mom picked me up I ran outside and jumped in the car. I practically hollered at her "I GOT IT! I GOT THE HOLY GHOST TODAY"! She said, "Are you sure"? I was sure! From then on my parents encouraged me every chance I got to keep my Holy Ghost alive. Through the good and the bad it is my constant comfort. I firmly believe that as a child and a teenager it is important to be soaked in the Holy Ghost. Soaked to overflowing! You should never be ashamed to feel the Holy Ghost. Even if everyone around you isn't showing it they may be feeling it. They may be waiting for someone else to show it so they feel comfortable letting go. This June I will have had the Holy Ghost for 20 years; and I have learned that when you're going through a trial or test it is not always easy to touch the Lord; but it is so important. When my mother passed away I left the funeral and got on a bus and went to a youth meeting in Dallas, TX. That may have been strange to a lot of people; but I knew if I was going to make it through, that I was going to need something extra special from the Lord. He supplied. All through middle and high school I tried to blend in with those around me; but deep down inside I knew I held something different within me than they did. The Lord has never let me forget that and I pray He never will. He's been better than good to me. In 30 years I have watched things change around me and friends come and go; but the Lord has kept his hand on me. By the grace and the mercy of God - I'm still here. Yes, I'm still here...thank you Lord for leading me this way...the vision you gave me grows clearer everyday...I realize Lord you could have chosen others in my place...but I'm so glad I'm in this race...and I'm still here.

Sorry Old Man

10-27-04




(Lord gave me this while Bro. Larry Vance was talking about the things befalling our young people.)

The devil may be bidding a high price for our young people; but be rest assured there will be some that WILL stand up boldly and raise their swords and shields to fight for what our forefathers fought for. There WILL be a generation that will carry the vision of the Body of Jesus Christ on their shoulders. They WILL raise the banner of righteousness up draw the Lord's chosen out of Babylon. WE WILL STAND, WE WILL FIGHT, WE WILL MARCH, AND WE SHALL PREVAIL!!


He stands on the corner bidding us to come in.
"Only for a moment, you don't have to stay.
Sit for a spell, put your feet up.
What does your heart desire?
Riches, power, fame are all here!
You can have all you want,
For just one small price."
Sir you may give me the things of this world.
You may try to fulfill my desires;
But be not deceived my desires are not here.

You may be willing to pay all that you own
For the price of our souls;
But you cannot give us the thing that can fulfill.

Sorry old man; but your time is up!

You've tried your best,
Used all your tricks;
There's nothing left.
My soul you see has already been bought.
Bought with a price
By the Son of God.
You couldn't buy Him,
And you CAN'T BUY ME.

God's prize is one you can't see!
Life everlasting is what my heart desires,
To stand and worship before the Lord's throne.

You see old man, your time is up.

I wont go in and share your dazzle.
There's nothing there but dust and rubble.

See you old man, Your time is up!

My eye is on the prize And I'm not giving in,
Cause I'm on the side that'll win in the end.



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Sweet Peace

Sitting here reading all your posts and just thinkn' that my blessings so outweigh my troubles.  This world is full of so much turmoil (sp?);
but I laid my head down last night in sweet peace.
Everything may not be MY version of perfect;
but God is great and in control.
He never said there wouldn't be bad days; but He did promise He wouldn’t leave me or forsake me.
If HE's there with me then what mountain cannot be removed?
What character flaw cannot be overcome?
What fleshly desire cannot be subdued?
If He is beside me then I am MORE than a conqueror!
Praise the Lord? PRAISE THE LORD!!



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Weapons of Warfare

My father (not just because he's my father) did an excellent job of talking about this subject this weekend. He didn't even know that the whole week before the Lord had really been talking to me about that. I have some things (as I'm sure we all do) in my character that I fight daily. I (as I'm sure most of you) have been feeling the need to really dig deep and clean out. Bro. Brown a couple weeks ago talked about having a pure heart towards God. He used our dear Sis. Blanchard here as an example. When she gets blessed she has this laugh and holler that just spills out over the whole crowd. He took the chance (after one of these times) to point out that if she didn't have the life to back her up those sounds would not have the affect on the crowd the way it had. Without the life to back it up it just wont work he said. That really struck home with me because (and I don't write this for any glory I am just trying to make my point) I feel like at times the Lord has been able to use me in different ways. I feel like that He has used me even when my life DID NOT back it up. For that I am grateful; but I feel more than ever that I want the Lord to be able to have a clean vessel to work with. Why should He always have to work around my faults? Well the truth is HE WONT ALWAYS. I feel like that time may be drawing closer and closer to being over. I want my inside to match my outside. Now back to my weapons. In my praying about these character flaws I was to the point where I was crying out and telling the Lord that "this is what's wrong with me and I have no idea how to help it"?!! I was asking for help. The Wed. night before Bro. Wyzard from McAlester, OK was here and he spoke about an experience he had had. The Lord told him in this experience that "He wasn't going to come down any further we must come up"! I couldn't stop thinking about that. How do you come up? What did I need to do to come up? A million thoughts ran through my head; but the next morning the Lord dealt with me to get up and read my Bible and pray before the kids get up. I do read everyday; but I always saved it for right before bed. One thing Bro. Wyzard said was that the Lord would give us our DAILY bread. Not our bread for tomorrow; but what we needed to make it through TODAY. How could I get what I needed for today if I was waiting till the end of the day to read and pray? So...I did that for a couple days and really felt more strength. Was thinking that maybe he knew what he was talking about.=D Saturday morning the kids woke up early so I missed my time; but as soon as the kids went down for a nap I went to my room to fulfill my comitment to the Lord. I opened Bro. Whittle's book to see what I was to read that day and could have shouted when I read that it was 2 Corinthians 10. After I read this I closed my Bible and began to cry and pray. I had a really good experience that day. It is the scripture that talks about the weapons of our warfare not being carnal. It starts out in v.3 says that we do not war after the flesh... The light bulb finally went off. If you try to fight with the flesh against the flesh you will LOSE!! You have to fight with your spiritual guns!! You can't fight a bear with a water pistol. GIVE ME A RIFLE!!! (2 Corinthians 10:4 - For the weapons of our warfare are NOT carnal, but MIGHTY through GOD to the pulling down of strongholds...) I can't do it in myself. The more that I try to do it in myself the worse I make it. The more I try to ignore it the bigger it grows. Bro. Whiittle also said in his book - "There are exalted notions and opinions in the castle of the human mind that must be conquered and demolished". How? By spiritual weapons. "Some prejudices may be destroyed by neglect, but there are many more which must be (I love this) STORMED BY VIOLENCE. This can only be accomplished by Divine strength imparted by the Holy Spirit and the dynamic Word of God. There are some areas in which we must simply stand still and see the salvation of the Lord; there are others in which we are to fight the good fight of faith".


This song came to mind later that day and I have been singing it ever since.
I haven't slayed the dragon yet; but I've been giving him some good jabs!!


"And we are in the army of the Lord
We've been washed in the blood
And we are going forth
There is nothing that can stop
This mighty moving force
With a SHOUT a PRAISE
a TWO-EDGED SWORD.
Every strong hold and bondage
Must fall beneath our feet
Every prisoner held captive
MUST BE FREED
For our deliverance has come
Through the POWER OF THE SON
It's the blood-bought the church
THE REDEEMED!!!

Faith

"These all died in faith, not having recieved the promises, but having seen them far off, and they were PERSUADED of them, and confessed that they were strangers and pilgrims on the earth .  For they that say such things DECLARE PLAINLY that they seek a country.  And truly if they had been mindful of that country FROM WHENCE THEY CAME OUT, they might have had opportunity to have returned.  But now they desire a BETTER COUNTRY, that IS, and HEAVENLY: wherefore God is not ashamed to be called their God: for He hath prepared for them a city."

Hebrews 11:13-16

Bro. Whittle:


"Now faith is the substance of things hoped for..."; that is, it is a REALITY, and not a fancy or figmanent of the imagination. It is the fulfillment of your dreams; it is heaven's answer to the longings and desires of the earth. It is that which is a SURE foundation...Faith is the ingredient that enables the trusting heart to act upon the promise as though they were fulfillment; it translates the uncertain future into the certain now; it transforms the invisible into what can be seen and known.

"Now faith is...the evidence of things not seen..."; that is, it is the facts established as legitimate proof. Faith is MORE than desire it is the fulfillment of desire. The foundation of faith is THE WORD OF GOD. Faith rests confidently in that which God declares. To believe, that God will do exactly what He promised in by no means presumption; it is FAITH in the INTEGRITY of GOD and HIS WORD.

The Boxer

Lastnight I was laying in bed just thinking over the things that happened this weekend. We heard such encouraging words. Words that to the flesh are hard to swallow; but renewed the inner man and gave him strength to stand and fight.


I was laying there thinking and this picture developed. I would tell you to close your eyes; but then you couldn't read it. LOL.

Imagine this boxing ring and in one corner you see a boxer enter the ring (the Body of Christ). Slowly he begans to put weight on one foot ... and then the other. Back and forth, back and forth. He raises his hands and takes a couple little practice jabs. First the left ... then the right. Back and forth ... back and forth. His opponent steps into the center ring and the crowd goes wild. The boxer slowly, confidently walks into the center ring. He surveys his opponent. Tattered and worn are his garments. Muscles big is mountains. Spewing all sorts of hate and misery from his lips. This opponent to the natural eye is severe and impenitrable. Any normal man would cower at thought of facing such a man. But slowly the boxer lifts his head. His eyes shine bright with knowing. A hush fills the room and He is filled with that strength from within. He's not alone. Adorned in white and draped with banners of the victories they've won he raises his hands to fight. He takes one last look at his corner to make sure and recieves a nod from his faithful coach. The man that has done it all.

Whether it takes one punch or 10 it doesn't matter because he knows that he can win. This beast of a man will not stand against HIS mighty hand. For they have done the work. Prepared the way and they know that POWER had been given unto Him and that he is MORE than a conquerer. The ref gives the signal and his opponent begins to lunge; but the power alive within the boxer rises up and **BAM** one powerful, mighty, solid blow and down goes that beast of a man. The boxer steps back and not a sound is heard. His opponent goes down. ONE...TWO...THREE...FOUR...FIVE...SIX...SEVEN...EIGHT...NINE...10!!! The boxer is your winner!!! Instead of giving in to the roar of the crowd the boxer turns and falls to his knees. He bows to the man in his corner. The Lion of the Tribe of Judah. The Captain of the Lords host. He is the one that has won this battle. He is the one that deserves this praise. He is the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords; and without him this fight would be in vain.

So think not about what the Lord is asking of you. It is but a small thing. Turn and look at that man in your corner. HE paid it all. HE holds the keys to victory. With him there is no character flaw you cannot overthrow. There is no mountain you cannot move. There is no victory that you cannot win. Make sure you have Him in your corner and the battle is "ours" thus saith the Lord.

Strong Tower

Last night Bro. Wright was talking about when you find yourself in the midst of temptation that there will always be a way of escape; and that we are to look for it. When I am in the midst of a temptation I seldom take the time to think much less look for a way of escape. This morning as I was reading I read the scripture


Proverbs 18:10 “The name of the Lord is a strong tower: the righteous runneth into it, AND IS SAFE.”


This brought to mind an experience I had this weekend.


Sunday morning I had the girls in service and Phillip was at work. It was a pretty good service; but my children were acting “extra crazy”. ;o) I was so frustrated by the end of service I was in tears. I could feel this anger starting to build inside as I was driving to lunch. I was beginning to be short with my kids and I could just feel myself sliding into this place of complaining and lashing out. I could see this happening and I thought in my head Lord I don’t want to go there anymore. I don’t want to be upset at my children because I didn’t get to focus completely on the service. I felt this unction to call on the name of the Lord so I just started saying JESUS!!! I didn’t know how or what to pray for; but I began to call on His name. Pretty soon I began to speak in tongues and the Holy Ghost filled my car.

It dawned on me as I was reading this morning and thinking on last nights service that that had been my way of escape. The situation didn’t change in the fact that I still had missed the majority of that service; but my attitude had elevated so that I could be ok with that.

That may seem like a small thing; but it has given me faith that in EVERY temptation to come the Lord will send that way of escape. If I don’t see it at first I can call on the name of the Lord and He will show me that way of escape.

Thankful

Sitting on my bed this afternoon before church and thinking on some things. Tonight we had church. Since Christmas fell on our regular church night we all still came in and had church. As I was thinking about church and getting ready these thoughts dropped in my head...I am so happy to be going to church tonight. It kind of surprised me at the feeling I was having. I always enjoy church when I get there; but sometimes it is hard to get up and go. Phillip wouldn't be able to go with me and there was no nursery so I would have to sit through church by myself with them. For some this may not be a big deal; but my children haven't quite learned to sit still yet. On any other given church service when I have to do this I grumble and complain about it the whole way there and then to Phillip on the phone the whole way home. So, the fact that I was so happy to go under these circumstances was odd. I knew in my mind that I would be going alone with them, and that "this" situation was going on; and that "that" had happened. My mind was carrying all these burdens; but my heart leaped within me to know that I could go one more time to worship the Lord. My Holy Ghost was excited. I am thankful!!! We have almost made it through another year. I AM STILL HERE!!! There was nothing so big that happened this year that caused me to lose my way. Now I am NOT saying that things haven't happened; but there has been nothing so big that HE couldn't handle!!


When I got to church I could feel the Holy Ghost right away. The band played Blessed Redeemer and I love that song. We were entering into his courts with praise. Then Sis. Luvanna Marshall began playing All Hail King Jesus; and from the first note the Holy Ghost filled that building. If I could've thought of a song to go with what I was feeling that would be it!!! The Holy Ghost welled up inside me and burst forth!!!


I am SO THANKFUL to have been in service tonight!!!



He is STILL God today!!


He is STILL able to heal!!!


He is STILL able to save!!!


He hears!!


He holds!!


He strengthens!!


He keeps!!!


HE IS STILL GOD!!!!

Pliable

We always hear the scenario of how we need the fire to get all the wrinkles out of our lives. They use an example of an iron ironing clothing. As I was ironing Sophia's skirt this morning a few thoughts dropped into my head. Her skirt had gotten twisted in the dryer and was almost unrecognizable. I ironed and I steamed; but the wrinkles just wouldn't come out! I turned the heat up and even held the iron on just a little bit longer trying to make the skirt cooperate. Finally I added a little water, and heat; and steam. Those wrinkles came right out. Thought how some wrinkles won't come out just with fire. They are so deep that it takes all three. Heat, steam; and water. The water was needed to make the skirt pliable so that the heat could do it's job. Hmmm... Maybe if I can stay pliable the heat won't take as long.

Dancing for the Lord

I remember someone speaking a few services back about getting your children comfortable feeling the Spirit of the Lord so that they would never be afraid of it. 

We were watching a DVD of one of the services this week and they were playing Looking for a City.  My girls were hopping and dancing all around the living room.  As I was watching them and thinking about them being comfortable with the Holy Ghost I thought why not practice here?  So I went and got their hands and we started dancing and praising the Lord together.  Don't get me wrong...no one fell out in the Spirit that day; but whose to say that one day they wont.  I have had plenty of experiences with the Lord in my home and who's to say that they can't have their own as well?  I even remember hearing of several people getting the Holy Ghost in their own homes.  I would love for the Spirit of the Lord to dwell in our home always so that whenever they need or want to they can touch the Lord. 

I enjoyed dancing in our living room with my girls.  Another memory to cherish.

Lord I Want to Go

Since Sophia was old enough to relate to music and actually understand songs she has loved the son "Lord I Want to Go, Keep showing me the way...".  When she first started singing it she would clap and say "GO" ... "WAY".  It was adorable.  The other night in church they began to play that song and she sat on the edge of her seat.  Pretty soon I looked down and she was clapping and singing along word for word.  I must admit that some pride crept into my heart.  I know that she also loves to sing "The Wheels on the Bus" etc... but to hear her singing church songs does something for my soul!!  I am so thankful for this. 

To top it all off the other night she was standing in our living room clapping and singing so I decided to go to the piano and play along with her.  We played and sang it several times together while Maya danced in the background.  I could feel the Lord fill my heart with gratitude for the mercy he has shown me and my family.  He didn't have to; but He did.  I hope and pray that she always has a love for this people and this way; and that she gets planted so deep that no winds can shake her out.