Something A WAY DOWN in my Soul

Cracking myself up today.

I was having a not so good very bad day.  Not for any reason other than just griping at myself for being the way I am.  I sat down at the piano and began playing the first song that popped into my head “Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus”…ironic I know :0)

I felt better as I played and then I started singing “I Feel Something A Way Down In My Soul” Haha…and low and behold there was a little something there LOL. 

I thought to myself yep there’s something there…even if it IS “a way down” in there LOL!! 

The more I sang the better I felt.

Then I got this crazy picture…something we’ve always heard before…about an old water pump.  We’ve heard this story a million times; but I thought I would remind myself. 

And I would like to say everything I know about this is not much…I only learned it from Little House On the Prairie LOL. 

That water they need to live is down deep in the ground…unless you lived near a river or a stream you had to dig a well.  In order to get the water out they dig a big hole…put a pipe and pump down in it and start pumping.  I’m sure there was more science to it than that and I might actually research it a little bit; but it looked like that’s the basics anyway.  After the pipe was put in the water didn’t just come gushing it out…in order to get that water there sometimes you had to dig deep and keep pumping. 

Sometimes…a lot of times I have to do this.  That water is laying down there waiting for me and I have to start pumping. 

LOL…but oh how sweet it tastes when it finally gets to flowing…then all I have to do is walk out and get a drink whenever I need it. 

Anyway…that was my crazy picture :0)

11-13-2013

Sometimes the Lord gives mother’s and daughter’s moments that …well you have to write down :0)

Tonight before bed I began to tell my girls how thankful I am that they are my little girls. 

I took 2’s hand first and told her that I loved her so much.  As she listened she didn’t move a muscle and, focused on every word I said.  I told her that she was so smart, and sweet; and how that she sometimes was silly.  She always made people smile and made people happy.  She smiled as big as the world and hugged me tight.

Next I took 1’s hand…as I talked she tucked her head kind of embarrassed like.  I could tell that it was something she needed to hear.  I told her how much I loved her and how that she was so caring and kind and how that I loved watching her grow up.  I loved how that she was learning to be a good mom by loving her baby dolls and that she meant so much to me. 

I found myself holding back tears as I explained my feelings to them.  2 in her way began to tell me how much she loved me.  She said that she was thankful for all the things that I did for her…for the good food I make them…for the things we buy her…and then hugged me tight.  Even though 1 didn’t express her feelings in words I could tell in the shy way she looked at me and the way she clung to me after that she felt the same. 

Sometimes you wonder in life if you as a mom have ruined your children or if you have messed them up in some way by all your failures…then in the midst of all that the Lord gives you little glimpses of how wonderful your children already are.  In all our daily training sessions…in all our character development…in all the correction we feel we need to do it is nice to have moments of clarity, when you can see how wonderfully innocent and trusting and GOOD your children really are!!      

 

 

Oil in my Lamp

Tonight Bro. Troy Coldwater was up speaking.  I didn’t get to hear the beginning of his talk because I was out with the girls; but the part I heard was too good not to share. 

He mentioned the 10 virgins in Matthew 25.  I have heard this taught all my life; but he said something that really jumped out to me.  He said that the 5 foolish virgins’ lamps WENT out.  He said that meant they at one time HAD oil in their lamp; but that they didn’t store any up.  I believe the Bible says that “…the foolish TOOK their lamps, and took NO OIL with them…”; but the wise “…took oil IN their vessels WITH their lamps…”. 

Talk about a revelation!!  Like I said I have heard this preached my whole life and never heard it preached so simple; but yet so TECHNICAL.  When you read that passage with that understanding I felt like it opened up more and more to me.  I kept adding more and more to it.    

He said that you have to STAY praying…STAY seeking the Lord…STAY reading…

He said you can’t put in for vacation time…wow how many times, have I said that “Lord I just need a little break…”!!  Shame on me!! 

He said you must get to a place in your life where IT IS OUR LIFE…it’s just WHAT WE DO…

I’m sorry to say that I know what it means to have my lamp running low on oil.  I know what it means to not have enough oil to see me through a trial and have to “hurry up” and try to find the strength I need to make it through.  He talked about being a sprinter…I never thought of it this way; but a sprinter has these HUGE bursts of energy…so much so that when they are done with their part of a race they aren’t worth very much because they used everything they had to reach their goal.  Instead of storing energy like a long distance runner they just blow it all on a 100 meters. 

Kind of like becoming weary in well doing...how fast do I become weary in well doing?  Do I have enough “stored up” to keep doing right, and keep doing right, and keep doing right all the way…until my nature is fully changed; or do I run out ½ way through and give up because there’s nothing else there holding me?  WOWIE!! 

I have questioned this myself before why I do good for a while, and then just seem to tank so easily?  Maybe because in trying to run this marathon of a race we are in, I have at times been sprinting instead.  Lord help me. 

Hmmm my mind is full tonight with so much to think on.  Thank you Lord for letting me see, now Lord help me to apply…apply…apply!!!

It's Time Make Up Your Mind (DW 8-3-2013)

It’s Time, Make Up Your Mind

 

The battle’s mine David cried as giants roamed the land.

Your sword and shield wont help you win when with me the Lord doth stand.

So in HIS hands I’ll place my trust and yield to His command.

When God Himself fights for you, you gain the upperhand.

 

The battle is the Lord’s today, with weapons that are His.

When He begins to fight for us, the enemy is stilled.

If we will trust and hold our ground, theLord will win the fight.

Gird up your strength, dig in your heals, let Him be your delight.

 

A cry goes forth from a conquering band, THE BATTLE IS THE LORD’S!!

We have to put our trust in Him, and HE is our reward!!

If we will wait and serve the Lord, and let Him have our hand.

We will see what God can do, and with them we can stand!!

 

PRAISE THE LORD!!!  HALLELUJAH!!!  Victory is ahead!!

Battle’s come and battle’s go, Let Jesus be your head!!

With Him in front and you behind, Sweet peace you’re sure to find!!

The battle’s HIS to fight today, so it’s time, make up your mind!!!

 

DW 8-3-2013

9-28-2013 Poem

Stripped down and broken

This is who I am.

Battered and beaten

With a heart full of sin.

Useless and helpless

No strength left to stand.

With faults and failures

Too many to mend.

With all that I carry

With all that I am,

The good and the bad

And all that’s within.

With all those who mock

And say that I can’t .

I reach for a goal

The Lord says I’ll win.

He promised to help me

He said that I can.

He said that He’d save me

He said I could win.

He said He would finish

This work He began.

He promised to keep me

Right up to the end.

Let go of your trials

Let go of your plan.

Let go of the things

That bind you within.

You can’t take them with you

They wont help you stand.

It’s time to let go

It’s time to enter in.

DW 9-28-2013

 

 

Going where we have never gone before...

 

 

Wyrick Academy

 

 

I'm sure there will be more posts to come :0)

Was thinking today that just because you know something is the Lord’s will and you have decided to trust the Lord in it…does NOT mean that it still won’t be hard.  It doesn’t mean that it still won’t hurt sometimes to go through it.  Even if you accept the situation and you profess your trust there is no quick magic fix every time that means everything will go smoothly.  You still have to daily…every time the situation comes up…give it to the Lord.  You still have to hold on and endure while those bonds are burned off.  Until you make it through and come out on the other side you have to keep trusting Him to help you walk through it; and keep looking for those little signs along the way that let you know you’re on the right track.  He’ll help you make those steps…even if they’re itty bitty baby steps.          

Hezekiah vs. The King of Assyria

Reading in 2 Chronicles 32 today:

As I was reading I began to see a picture written out before me.  I know you all know this already; but sometimes it just helps to be reminded :0) the story is of Hezekiah going to battle with the King of Assyria.  I encourage you to read it yourself.  He does a much better of telling the story than I can.

When Hezekiah saw that Sennacherib king of Assyria was looking for a fight there are some things he did… (2 Chron. 32:3-6)

v  He took counsel with the princes and the mighty men of Israel to stop all the water flowing in Jerusalem.  Why?  So that when Assyria came to fight they would not find much water.  Water is a life source. 

Ø  How can we apply this?  He sought counsel to do what?  Stop the life source?  Stop anything that would give what he is fighting strength.  Quit feeding it.  If we are fighting something in our life we need to cut off the things that would give it strength.  The things that feed what we’re fighting. 

Ø  Ex.  If we are fighting a disease you have to cut off the life source of that disease.  Diabetes you have to cut off sugar etc…  What are you allowing that is feeding the very thing you are trying to fight off?  Are you fighting a bad spirit…hurt feelings…a habit…whatever it is cut off the life source? 

v  He built up all the wall that was broken.  He built up his defense.  (Prov. 25:28  He that [hath] no rule over his own spirit [is like] a city [that is] broken down, [and] without walls.)

Ø  We have to repair all our breaches.  Get control of our spirit.  Make sure that our defense is secure.  Make sure there is nothing between you and the Lord.  Make sure that there is nothing between you and your brother.  If there is we must repair it and make the wall strong or the enemy will just get in another way. 

v  He made darts and shields. Built up his arsenal…his weapons of warfare (2 Corinthians 10:4  For the weapons of our warfare [are] not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds;) 

Ø  Make sure that you are full of the Holy Ghost and the word of God.  Put on the WHOLE armor of God.  So that you are fully equipped to face the enemy.  Look up scriptures…memorize them…memorize songs…spend some time on your knees…this is how you fight.   

v  Gathered the people together and encouraged them. 

Ø  Gather together with the people of the Lord and gain your strength.  Come to church.  This is where we are encouraged by the words of life coming forth…by the testimonies of those who have fought battles and won…and by the songs of Zion.  (Hebrews 10:25  Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some [is]; but exhorting [one another]: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching.)

Hezekiah did all these things in preparation for the battle.  He couldn’t just go out and fight without a defense or he would be taken in the fight.  He had to build up a defense and seek the Lord.  Hezekiah spoke to the people encouraging them that they could win the battle.  After he spoke it says that the people rested in the words of Hezekiah.  They rested…why…how?  Because they knew that the one who was fighting their battle was greater than the ones fighting against them.  (Romans 8:31  What shall we then say to these things? If God [be] for us, who [can be] against us)

What is that Bro. John Seaton said this weekend?  Caleb and Joshua had a different report. They had a victorious report.   Quit listening to the report of the other spies of the land and start listening to the Holy Ghost inside you.  Listen to the Ministry…the saints of the Body of Christ.  They have a different report.  What is their report?? We are WELL ABLE to take the land. We CAN be an overcomer!!!!   Yes it may be a battle…yes some of it may be an uphill climb.  But remember as Hezekiah said “be strong and courageous”!!!  There are more with us HALLELUIA than are with them!!!  We’ve got the Son of God in our corner!!!

(2 Chron. 32:27-28   Be strong and courageous, be not afraid nor dismayed for the king of Assyria, nor for all the multitude that [is] with him: for [there be] more with us than with him: With him [is] an arm of flesh; but with us [is] the LORD our God to help us, and to fight our battles. And the people rested themselves upon the words of Hezekiah king of Judah)

After the people were at rest then the battle began:  (2 Chron. 32:9-19)

Sennacherib king of Assyria came out and began talking.  He wasn’t coming against them with swords and spears yet…it was his words.  He came at Israel mocking their trust in the Lord and in Hezekiah…telling them that Hezekiah had persuaded them all to give over themselves to die by famine and thirst.  How many times does the devil…your mind…whatever tell you that the Lord won’t help you. He’s just gonna leave you there to die and you might as well give up now?  It is one of the greatest victories if he can get you to doubt the fact that the Lord loves you enough to see you through. 

Then Sennacherib says to Israel “Know ye not what I and my fathers have done unto ALL the people of other lands”?  He was really pouring it on thick!!  How many times does he bring up all the battles that you have fought and lost?  How many times you have failed?  How many times you have given up?  He would love for you to focus on your losses than your wins.  It discourages you when you look at all the work you have yet to do.  There is a saying out there that says “When the devil reminds you of your past remind him of his future”.  He would like you to look back; but as Bro. Seaton said this weekend you can look back at the wake of the boat to see where you’ve come from; but if you keep looking behind you there’s gonna be a big wreck in front of you!! 

Sennacherib tells them that those other gods of those lands couldn’t save those people so what makes them think that their God would save them!!!  Have you heard these words before in your own life?  I know I have!!  Then he would like you to look around at all those others that have tried and failed.  How many of your friends have dropped out of the picture?  Could your God save them?  Hmmm he is a sneaky one.  Keep your focus.  This is YOUR chance.  We can’t focus on what’s around us; we have to keep our eyes on HIM.  (Psalms 91:7  A thousand shall fall at thy side, and ten thousand at thy right hand; [but] it shall not come nigh thee.)

“There’s a little path I’m on The Lord and me.

A path laid out that’s just for me.

When I begin to deviate from the path,

Question the path, or forget the path

That’s when distractions set in.

I begin to doubt the path,

Worry about the path, and lose the path.

But if I can remember the path of the Lord and me,

Safe and steady my path will be.

Lord keep my eyes stayed on Thee.”

“I’m gonna keep on working till He comes till He comes

There’s nothing in this world worth turning around to see

My eye is on the prize that’s awaitin’ me by and by

And I’m gonna keep on workin’ till He comes”

Then it says that the Assyrians went to work…talking against them…telling them that it was hopeless.  Then they began to cry out in the Jews own language.  Talking to them on their own level.  How many times has the devil talked right down your alley?  Telling you exactly what you “NEED” to hear?  He even sends you special encouragers to use your own words against you.  I know many times my thoughts are what I fight more than anything. 

(2 Chron. 32:20)

In all the midst of this is says that then Hezekiah began to cry out to the Lord.  He began to pray and seek strength from the Lord.  I imagine that the tricks of the Assyrians were working on some of the Israelites and he was probably getting pressure from within as well.  The fire was getting hot!!  He needed strength from on high to fight this battle!!

…and then what happened???

(2 Chron. 32:21-22)

The Lord sent an angel to take out all of Assyria’s officers…and mighty men and saved Hezekiah and Israel that day!! 

(2 Chron. 32:22  Thus the LORD saved Hezekiah and the inhabitants of Jerusalem from the hand of Sennacherib the king of Assyria, and from the hand of all [other], and guided them on every side.)

Never once in this chapter does it say that Israel had to raise a sword to fight.  The Lord set ambush when they began to trust and call on the Lord.  Sennacherib returned to his own city and his own people slew him.

Don’t give up on the Lord.  You put in the work and rest in Him and when the battle gets hot and the discouragement is fierce that’s when you call on the name of the Lord and He will send help!!!  He can set ambush and leave you standing in amazement at what happened!!!  He’s a great big MIGHTY God!!! 

“So many times I question the certain circumstances
And things I could not understand.
Many times in trials my weakness blurs my vision
And that's when my frustration gets so out of hand.
It's then I am reminded, I've never been forsaken.
I've never had to stand one test alone.
As I look at all the victories, the Spirit rises up in me.
And It's through the fire my weakness is made strong.

I know within myself that I would surly perish
If I trust the hand of God, He'll shield the flame again.

He never promised that the cross would not get heavy
And the hill would not be hard to climb.
He never offered a victory without fighting.
He said help would always come in time.
Just remember when you're standing in the valley of decision
And the advisory says give in, Just hold on.
OUR LORD WILL SHOW UP

And He will take you through the fire again”

(Through the Fire – Gerald Crabb)

Cultivate

Today a Sister I know shared this status on Facebook from Joyce Meyer Ministries:

“The Enemy doesn't fear us going to church every week.

He fears us having a close and powerful relationship with God.”

I could have shouted across the house.  I know this may seem like a simple statement and one I have heard many times; but it unlocked a part of my brain that must have been asleep. 

I have been going through something for a while and it had reached the point to where today I had told the Lord that “I can’t go on one more day like this.  I know that we go through the fire; but I think this one is burning me up”.  I asked the Lord for some help…then I clicked on Facebook this morning.  When I read her status I realized that the enemy’s biggest accomplishment with me right now was getting me to forget about my relationship with the Lord.  I don’t mean that I have completely forgotten; but I forgot to cultivate it.  What do I mean by that?  Well…if He can plant seeds of doubt in your mind…about your relationship with the Lord…about your security…about your worth…about any of these things…he’s got you.  If He can get you to break down the communication between you and the Lord then He has found a way in.  If he can get you to listen to him just enough to get a toe in the door.  I was still reading my Bible everyday…I still prayed; but what was missing was the depth.  There was something between me and the Lord…

As I thought about the Facebook post I thought…more than anything I need to keep that relationship between me and the Lord protected.  I need to make sure that if there is anything between me and the Lord that it is taken care of so that the lines of communication are open.  I need to realize that no matter what happens in life as long as my relationship with the Lord doesn’t change or waiver that we can weather any storm…trial…hiccup in the road together.  Instead of trusting the Lord…praising the Lord…leaning on the Lord…I had been worrying and doubting…and placing all those weights on my own shoulders instead of His.  I have failed to trust in His love and care for me.  Shame on me.  Lord forgive me.  After all He’s done for me.  He’s never failed me yet…why should I think He would start now.  He knows where and who I am and the foundation I am built on is firm.  He sees all my frustrations and just when the pot I’m in goes to boiling He knows how to keep me there till I’m cooked all the way through!!  Lord touch my mind and help to remember you’re there and I am not alone.  You know EXACTLY what you’re doing at every moment.  Thank you Lord!!!

So, where do we go from here? 

Time to have a little talk with Jesus…and learn how to dwell in 2^nd Heaven as Bro. Wright talked about this weekend. 

Conversations with my Daughter

Today on the way home from the store…the kids were whining…I was hot…we all were just done for the day.  I told them to both be quiet because I had enough.  Little Bit #2 speaks up from the back…

“Mommy…I just don’t feel like you really like me anymore”.  She’s 4.  I asked her what had made her feel like that and she said that when I count she just doesn’t think I like her very much…because if I really liked her I would not punish her.  I of course told her that I will always like her.  I may not like what she’s doing or how she is acting; but I would always like her!!  

I told her that the reason mommies and daddies have to correct their children is so that they learn how to behave the right way.  That way they don’t just go around being mean and unkind to everyone they meet.  She said “Oh…I just don’t know how to very good”. 

I told her yes you do and that she was a very good little girl; but sometimes she just had some rough days.  I told her that’s what mommy was for…to help her learn.  :0)

As I sat here thinking about it I thought…isn’t that just like us.  The second the Lord begins to correct an area in our life we begin to doubt His love for us.  Because if He really loved us He wouldn’t make us go through things right? 

WRONG.  He is trying to correct our character so that when we go out in the world we will portray His ways and treat everyone the way we should.  His love for us is so great that He will not allow us to just go on the way we are.  He wants us…pleads with us…and yes directs us to change. 

He loves us too much to leave us the way we are.  Thank you Lord for loving me :0)

Learning to Soar

“Wherever I am I’ll praise Him

Whenever I can I’ll praise Him,

For His love surrounds me like the sea.

Praise the name of Jesus.

Lift up the name of Jesus,

For the name of Jesus lifted me.”

I was sitting in church a weekend or so ago.  I was having a really hard time.  I had a lot going on in my head…a lot going on around me…the Lord was dealing with me...my kids had suddenly decided to go nuts…I was so frustrated and then Luvanna got on the piano and began to sing this song.  I thought to myself well where I am is right here.  In the middle of confusion…frustration…aggravation…hurt…hopelessness…all these emotions I was feeling…this is WHERE I AM.  I thought well, this is not my ideal location spiritually…I am not on the mountain top; but even here…whatever this place I’m in is called He still deserves me to praise Him.  He still is good even when I am not.  He still loves me when I am unloveable. He still cares about me when I fail to care for others.  He is STILL my Savior and still deserves whatever I can give Him.  Even if all I have to offer Him at that moment is tears and brokenness…He still deserves whatever I have.  Even if what I have is nothing…He can take that and make it something.  The more she sang the better I felt.  Did things change…no; but instead of letting those things pile on top of my shoulders I started climbing on top of them and using them to push me little bit higher.

I was thinking last night of an eagle and how we’ve always heard that it uses the storms to soar above the winds.  I was thinking how that there have been times in my life where I have felt myself soaring…and I mean SOARING above the things around me.  Where things would happen and I would just say ok Lord…I know you’ve got this under control and up up up I would go.  Other times it seems like I would struggle and struggle to get off the ground.  I don’t think the difference was just the weight of the circumstances; but maybe more likely my willingness to let Him have control…to allow myself to be carried up higher by the winds surrounding me and instead me being afraid to jump off the cliff and consequently getting hammered instead by the rain.  Lord help me to have enough faith and trust in you to jump off the cliff and learn to soar instead of choosing to get pummeled over and over by the rain.       

“Wherever I am I’ll praise Him

Whenever I can I’ll praise Him,

For His love surrounds me like the sea.

Praise the name of Jesus.

Lift up the name of Jesus,

For the name of Jesus lifted me.”

I was praying about some things this morning.  I had a lot of confusion going on in my head and just that feeling of wanting to push everything out and get a better perspective.  I was praying and telling the Lord I don't know about this situation and I don't know about that one; but YOU do. 
As I was praying a little chorus we sing all the time popped in my head:

"I'm depending on You Lord, to carry me through.
You're the one who can help me, my mind to renew.
By the power of Your spirit, all things I can do.
I'm depending on You Lord, to carry me through."

I wrote down in my journal: There are things I don't understand in life.  Things that are too big for me.  In those things I'm depending on the Lord to carry me thru.  I'm depending on Him to let me know what concerns me and what doesn't.  I'm trusting Him to help me not put my hands to matters that are not mine to touch.  Lord keep my eyes stayed on you.

After that this little thought came to mind:

There's a little path I'm on...the Lord and me.
A path laid out that's just for me.
When I began to deviate from this path,
Question the path; or forget the path
That's when distractions set in.
I begin to doubt the path,
Worry about the path; and lose the path.
But if I can remember the path of the Lord and me,
Safe and steady my path will be.

Lord keep my eyes stayed on thee!!! 

No...

Sometimes the Lord says NO…

Sometimes we get a wait…sometimes a yes…sometimes it’s not the right time; but sometimes He just says no.  Sometimes to things we want…places we want to go…our own ideas…relationships…OUR plan for our life.  He always can see the bigger picture…even if when He tells us no, we may not see it at all.      

I think for the most part the no’s have been small and easy to comply with…maybe because I can see Him working and I understand that His way is best.  At those times I could almost feel the Lord backing me up as I let go.  I knew without a shadow of doubt that it was the right thing for me to do.  There are other times (like I told someone the other day) that He knows that it’s really going to hurt so that band aid can’t be just ripped off; but it has to be taken off slowly…so it causes less damage :0) 

I feel like for a while I have been in the process of having one of those band aid’s removed.  The story would take forever to go into; but suffice it to say I had an experience where I felt that last little piece of adhesive snap.  The only thing I felt at the time was sadness.  It’s one of those things that I really didn’t see the harm in it until the Lord began to show me how much of my attention I was giving it.  It consumed my thoughts…my emotions…everything almost.  I couldn’t find the joy in my own life because I was always worried about it.  I know…your curiosity is up :0) 

I can see the path that the Lord has led us on for the last couple of years…I’ve testified about some of it…and in the middle of it you couldn’t have told me that this is where I would be.  I wouldn’t have believed you and I would’ve been terrified…but as faithful as the Lord is He allowed me to go through in baby steps…comforting me…encouraging me…and letting me know that most of all He is there and always will be. 

I know that the process of overcoming is hard; (He never promised that it would be easy…He did promised that it would be worth it) but I know I can make it!!  I know without a shadow of a doubt if I will keep putting one foot in front of the other…and keep my hand in His…that He will shine a light of truth on my path and one day I will step into the fulfillment of His promise for me!!  I may not be able to see everything that I will walk through and at the time I may feel like whining all the way; but if I can just keep going…keep striving…keep working…keep pressing…I will understand it all when I make it through.  I have to trust those little nudges the Lord gives me and trust the hand that I feel in my back…and trust that HE knows exactly what I need. 

I’ve included a song that the Lord gave me during this…it was a hard one to write down and even harder to sing; but I believe it is my heart.  I’ve tried it my way and my way just doesn’t work.  I’d like to try it His way.  Even if sometimes He says no :0)

 

Where He Leads

 

Ch.         I thought I could be what I wanted to be

                I thought I could build what I wanted to build

                But life’s sinking sand has taught me this

                That to be where He leads is where I want to be.

 

V1.         On this road I’ve gone I’ve learned many things

                I’ve seen joys and peace and many splendid things

                But one thing I’ve learned more than anything

                That without the Lord I can’t do anything

 

V2.         The pleasures of life can deceive for sure

                For just a small time your peace will endure

                But once they are done and your joy is gone

                You will seek for the one your soul to restore.

 

V3.         To be in His will more than ever before

                To know without doubt that my heart is pure

                A spirit within that will not sin

                And a life that lives to glorify Him.

D W  Feb. 2013

You Have Learned Well

A little poem I wrote today after watching my kiddos play...

 

 

You have learned well

My little one,

The words I speak,

My "special" tone.

 

You have learned

To get your way,

No matter what

The world may say.

 

You have learned

To stomp and cry,

And not give in

Without a whine.

 

You have learned

By being nice,

That sometimes others

Pay a price.

 

As I reflect

and self-inspect,

And watch the child

Who plays and smiles.

 

Your teacher was

Not man you see,

Your teacher has

always been me.

 

 

 

I know it's not a sweet happy little poem; but one that made me think for sure.

What is it that I am teaching my child by what I do.

Am I planting seeds of a character that she will have to pluck up later.

I know that each of our children are born with their own nature; but what am I

planting in their little gardens?  Am I planting more good than bad?

Are there things that I can do better to SHOW my children my faith?

Just some ponderings for the day :0)



Worth it or NOT

This is something the Lord gave me a while back for a girl's class I did.  I really felt like it was from the Lord and He brought it back to mind as I was writing tonight...

Worth It or Not?

 As I set out to prepare for this talk I did not have a clue which direction to go.  I didn’t want to seem like a hardnosed “rule enforcer”; but then I didn’t want to be so, “understanding” it would give the impression that it wasn’t an important subject.

I was standing in my kitchen and this little thought crossed my mind.  Why do I try to live this life?  What is it that makes me try again every day?  Is it because I have been forced?  Is it because I don’t have a mind of my own?  What caused me to make the decision so long ago to lay down my will in some areas? 

I kept thinking of the word…WORTH…

As I was standing there this little scenario began to play out in my head.  Try to imagine this with me…Imagine my husband and our children. 

They loves pennies.  They are one of their most precious things.  When their daddy comes home and empties out his pockets to give them his change it is a BIG deal to them.  They will carry around their little penny all day…if it gets misplaced that is the end of the world and everyone must stop to help them find their penny.  That’s how important it is to them. 

Now imagine that one of them has just received a shiny new penny.  Her dad stands in front of her holding a diamond ring.  He asks her “*****…if you will give me that shiny new penny I will give you this diamond ring”.  She looks at that penny…it is so special to her…she would like to have that diamond ring too; but she doesn’t want to give up her precious treasure.  She slowly shakes her head and with a sad face she declines her dad’s offer. 

He could tell her that the ring is worth $5.00 or $10,000.00, and that the penny she wants to keep in comparison is worthless; but it wouldn’t matter…she does not understand the worth.  She can’t see that if she traded that cheap penny for the diamond ring she would be the winner.  All she can see is that precious treasure she holds so dear. 

Fast forward 10…15…years –

Once again her daddy stands before her offering the same diamond ring.  Without hesitation she would happily drop her penny and grab that diamond ring.  She wouldn’t even have to think about it.  Why?  Because she understands that what he is offering her is worth more than her penny.  She understands that the penny she thought was so important doesn’t even compare to the ring she is being given. 

Now close your eyes & keep them closed till I tell you:

Imagine Jesus is standing in front of you.  In His hand He is holding a crown…eternal life.  All He wants is to trade you that crown for what’s in your hand. 

Today we’ve talked about one thing; but in your mind look down at your hand. 

What are you holding in your hand?

Is it worth more than what Jesus is willing to give you?

Is it worth settling for a lesser prize or not one at all just to hold onto something you thought was more important?

Is there anything in your hand that you could keep that would be worth losing eternal life? 

Yes…I know that those things that we hold in our hands are so very dear…thoughts, attitudes, opinions, wants, etc…but those things are worth nothing compared to what He is offering you. 

As a child my kids love pennies…but as they grow up their understanding will change.  The more their knowledge…vision grows the more they will realize that penny they thought was worth everything is really worth just that…one lousy cent. 

Today we’ve talked about one thing; but the Lord is asking you to make a decision.  A decision to give up those things you’re holding onto in order to gain a closer walk with the Lord.  What is important to you?  If you don’t understand the worth ask the Lord to help you.  Ask Him to open your eyes and give you a vision of what He’s doing today.   

You can open your eyes:

How many times I have heard people say…and said it myself…”Why does ________matter”?  We ask this question because we can’t see the worth.  We can’t see what the value of it is. 

I can tell you why it is worth it…I can give you examples in my own life of the Lord proving to me it’s worth it…but until you begin to seek the Lord yourself you may not understand the worth.  It takes a revelation from the Lord.  It takes a vision of what he’s doing to help you see why it is worth it. 

You may question in your mind if things are important to Him.  I know I did.  If you’re having those thoughts then the Lord may be dealing with you.  You want to know for yourself if this really does matter.  To those of you I put forth a challenge to you…go home…and ask Him.  However you talk to the Lord…ask Him to show you.  You don’t have to just take my word for it; but you can go to the Lord and I promise if you go to Him in sincerity He will answer you.  He can give you without a doubt experiences that no one can ever take away from you.  So that without a doubt you know for sure that the Lord Himself has spoken to you. 

 My goodness…He is offering you eternal life!!!  Toss that old penny away and gain your crown!!

Willing to be Changed

“Willing to be changed

Willing to be changed

I know I can’t see all He’s planning for me

Till I’m willing to be changed”

 

This weekend was one of those weekends that you leave with a lot to think about.  It’s funny how you can sit in a service…services and hear the message going forth and be thinking “My goodness…I hope no one realizes that he is talking about me”.  You know that the words going forth are slicing and cutting the flesh and also feeding your soul; but at the same time you wish that without causing a scene you could quietly find a hole and jump into it…never to surface again.  At least not to surface again until those ugly spots are barely a glimmer of a memory. 

You go along in life and you the Lord shows you something about yourself…you mourn over that ugly spot…the Lord encourages you…He helps you get past it and wash that ugly spot…and then you look back on that spot and think WOW I really didn’t think I was gonna make it through that one; but look what God can do!!  You’re feeling really good and then He shows you an even uglier spot.  Ouchie…Lord that’s a really big one.  And it’s got so many facets that I’m not sure I can even clean that spot. 

As we heard this weekend you have to be willing to tell the Lord yes.  Whatever you need to do to save me Lord, whooie…whatever you need to do could be awfully painful.  As Aunt Karen said you have to make the decision to take that nail out of your foot and let go of whatever has been holding you back. 

As the Lord took the time to show me myself this weekend it began to make sense of some things I had been feeling, going through, and dealing with previously.  I even thought to myself “Awww man, are you serious???”   I looked at myself long and hard in a few areas. 

My first thought was “why do I have such a hard time saying yes”.  I thought about that this afternoon. 

Tonight my answer came in a not so nice…felt like it was tattooed across my forehead kind of way.  Because yes you have gained victory in some things…yes you have overcome some things; but it has only been when you closed your eyes, raised your hands; and cried out LORD I’ll do it YOUR way and NOT MINE!!! 

I guess I thought that if I finally made it and said that final yes to the Lord that it would all be smooth sailing from there.  You know like breaking the ice…you say the first yes which should be the hardest and then all the others after that get easier right??  Kind of like creating a habit??  WRONG!!!  The yes’s seem to me to get harder and require more trust in the Lord.  It’s not a onetime…fix all kind of yes.  It’s a continual “yes Lord…yes Lord…yes Lord”. 

Those ugly places sometimes have deep roots and they must be dug out little bits at a time till one day you hear a “POP” and that last and final hold gives way. 

My ugly places are U-G-L-Y for sure; but Lord I’m standing here…with my eyes closed…my head and hands raised to you…and I’m crying “Lord if I am going to be clean and holy…pure and true…if I’m going to stand before you without spot or wrinkle or blemish…Lord Jesus…Father in Heaven…it will be because of you!!!”  There is nothing I can do in myself; but say yes lord and begin to apply the truth that we have heard today.  If I make it…it will not be because I shouted the loudest…danced the hardest…preached the most…or received the most praise…it will be because YOU the God of heaven had mercy on my soul and looked down and applied grace to my life.  It will be because YOU looked at me and said yes she is a dirty lump of coal; but if she’ll say yes to me I do believe I can use her. 

No, I can’t see what lies ahead; but I can see how He has worked behind me till now.  All the steps that He has brought me through to this point to try to get me to let go of the things I am holding onto.  I don’t even know all the things I hold in my hand; but if when He shows them to me I can let go and let go again and let go again…one day I will look down at my hands and they will be clean…pure…holy…fit for the Master’s use.