It Does Matter

My heart is so overwhelmed and my mind is just racing so the way I resolve that is to write.


It is amazing to me the amount of people that can feel the Lord dealing with them on things in their lives and know that the Lord is tugging on them; and yet still they think that you can live with one foot in the world and one foot in the church. It breaks my heart actually to see them struggle within themselves everytime they are at church only to get a little bit of relief and go right back to doing the things the Lord has convicted them of. Don't we know the affect it has on our life. I'm talking to me as well because it seems that we all fight this battle somewhere in our walk with the Lord over something we're holding onto. We are either in or out. The Bible says that the lukewarm (one foot in and one foot out) He would eventually spew out of His mouth. We all know this; but to really understand what all that entails I think would spur more of us into action. Yes, I believe the Lord gives second chances, and Yes I think that He has mercy for us; but I do think that eventually it will come down to one last chance. We will either say that "eternal yes" the ministers have been talking about or we will say to the Lord "No, Lord, you know I think I can handle this all on my own".

God forbid!!!! Where would we be without the Lord??? I know the answer to that question in my own life and where I would be is not worth mentioning at all!! I owe Him my life. MY LIFE!!! That is what He wants from each and everyone of us. OUR LIFE. Not to question when He says jump; but to jump with all my might. Bro. Brown tells this story about Bro. Patton and him that I think is kind of funny; but so true for me. He said that if the Lord told Bro. Patton to jump out a window he would just do it. Bro. Brown (like me I think) would have to look out the window and see how far down it was and where the best place to land would be. I am sorry to say that more often than not when the Lord has dealt with me in my own life I tend to relate more to Bro. Brown. I feel like that the time for that in my own likfe is slowly dwindling away. I don't feel like in my life the Lord is pleased with that anymore. Why would the Lord send me before the kings of this world to speak for Him if I question every thing He asks me to do in my own life now. How can the Lord trust me if I don't trust Him. He said if I would keep His commandments that I could have eternal life. What is better than that?

Lord help me to take my foot out of the world and plant them both in you!!!

I had this experience one time the Lord was asking me to give up some things I'd been holding onto. I was really getting a good blessing and I had this picture of those big bulky plastic bracelets. You know the ones you can get in all shapes an sizes? I had them all up and down my arms and written on them were things that I'd been holding onto.
Ex. - hurts, pride, even getting down to the specifics written on these bracelets.
The Lord would have me to look at one of them and he would ask me to take it off and drop it to the floor. Now I wasn't physically doing this, it was all in my head. I would fight a bit; but then I would take off the bracelet and drop it to the floor. This happened several times and the more I took off the deeper I went in the spirit. It was a wonderful expereince. I felt that the Lord was showing me that if I would be willing to take those burdens off that I could have more of Him. To this day I think of that when He starts dealing with me about something. If I can let go of what I'm holding onto I can have more of Him; and untimately there will be none of me left only Him!!!

Praise the Lord!! Ok, now maybe I can sleep.



.

My Testimoney

Gelina Gilbert asked me to write this a while back...



My testimony...what would I consider my testimony? Since I have been here all my life my testimony may not be quite as spectacular as others. I guess my testimony would be a testimony of the love and mercy of the Lord shed abroad in my life.

When I was 8 or 9 years old the Lord in His own simple way began to show me my need for Him in my life. I gave my heart to Jesus on the edge of my parents bed while blow drying my hair for church. My parents were in the room at the time and I always wondered if they noticed that I was crying and talking to the Lord; but they never said. They let me have my moment with the Lord. From that time on I began to seek the Holy Ghost. I remember one time I was down front and after I was done praying my mother asked me if I thought I got the Holy Ghost. She never said I did or didn't. She wanted me to know for myself. I told her I thought so; but I really hadn't got it. Later on at a Vacation Bible School in spring, TX when I was nine I was down front praying with some of my friends to get the Holy Ghost and something happened. I basically lost track of where I was and what I was doing. To this day I don't remember speaking in tongues right then; but I think that's the moment I actually got it. Later on during that week some of us were all in a circle praying down front and I closed my eyes, opened my mouth; and out came the Holy Ghost. I heard myself. When my mom picked me up I ran outside and jumped in the car. I practically hollered at her "I GOT IT! I GOT THE HOLY GHOST TODAY"! She said, "Are you sure"? I was sure! From then on my parents encouraged me every chance I got to keep my Holy Ghost alive. Through the good and the bad it is my constant comfort. I firmly believe that as a child and a teenager it is important to be soaked in the Holy Ghost. Soaked to overflowing! You should never be ashamed to feel the Holy Ghost. Even if everyone around you isn't showing it they may be feeling it. They may be waiting for someone else to show it so they feel comfortable letting go. This June I will have had the Holy Ghost for 20 years; and I have learned that when you're going through a trial or test it is not always easy to touch the Lord; but it is so important. When my mother passed away I left the funeral and got on a bus and went to a youth meeting in Dallas, TX. That may have been strange to a lot of people; but I knew if I was going to make it through, that I was going to need something extra special from the Lord. He supplied. All through middle and high school I tried to blend in with those around me; but deep down inside I knew I held something different within me than they did. The Lord has never let me forget that and I pray He never will. He's been better than good to me. In 30 years I have watched things change around me and friends come and go; but the Lord has kept his hand on me. By the grace and the mercy of God - I'm still here. Yes, I'm still here...thank you Lord for leading me this way...the vision you gave me grows clearer everyday...I realize Lord you could have chosen others in my place...but I'm so glad I'm in this race...and I'm still here.

Sorry Old Man

10-27-04




(Lord gave me this while Bro. Larry Vance was talking about the things befalling our young people.)

The devil may be bidding a high price for our young people; but be rest assured there will be some that WILL stand up boldly and raise their swords and shields to fight for what our forefathers fought for. There WILL be a generation that will carry the vision of the Body of Jesus Christ on their shoulders. They WILL raise the banner of righteousness up draw the Lord's chosen out of Babylon. WE WILL STAND, WE WILL FIGHT, WE WILL MARCH, AND WE SHALL PREVAIL!!


He stands on the corner bidding us to come in.
"Only for a moment, you don't have to stay.
Sit for a spell, put your feet up.
What does your heart desire?
Riches, power, fame are all here!
You can have all you want,
For just one small price."
Sir you may give me the things of this world.
You may try to fulfill my desires;
But be not deceived my desires are not here.

You may be willing to pay all that you own
For the price of our souls;
But you cannot give us the thing that can fulfill.

Sorry old man; but your time is up!

You've tried your best,
Used all your tricks;
There's nothing left.
My soul you see has already been bought.
Bought with a price
By the Son of God.
You couldn't buy Him,
And you CAN'T BUY ME.

God's prize is one you can't see!
Life everlasting is what my heart desires,
To stand and worship before the Lord's throne.

You see old man, your time is up.

I wont go in and share your dazzle.
There's nothing there but dust and rubble.

See you old man, Your time is up!

My eye is on the prize And I'm not giving in,
Cause I'm on the side that'll win in the end.



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Sweet Peace

Sitting here reading all your posts and just thinkn' that my blessings so outweigh my troubles.  This world is full of so much turmoil (sp?);
but I laid my head down last night in sweet peace.
Everything may not be MY version of perfect;
but God is great and in control.
He never said there wouldn't be bad days; but He did promise He wouldn’t leave me or forsake me.
If HE's there with me then what mountain cannot be removed?
What character flaw cannot be overcome?
What fleshly desire cannot be subdued?
If He is beside me then I am MORE than a conqueror!
Praise the Lord? PRAISE THE LORD!!



.

Weapons of Warfare

My father (not just because he's my father) did an excellent job of talking about this subject this weekend. He didn't even know that the whole week before the Lord had really been talking to me about that. I have some things (as I'm sure we all do) in my character that I fight daily. I (as I'm sure most of you) have been feeling the need to really dig deep and clean out. Bro. Brown a couple weeks ago talked about having a pure heart towards God. He used our dear Sis. Blanchard here as an example. When she gets blessed she has this laugh and holler that just spills out over the whole crowd. He took the chance (after one of these times) to point out that if she didn't have the life to back her up those sounds would not have the affect on the crowd the way it had. Without the life to back it up it just wont work he said. That really struck home with me because (and I don't write this for any glory I am just trying to make my point) I feel like at times the Lord has been able to use me in different ways. I feel like that He has used me even when my life DID NOT back it up. For that I am grateful; but I feel more than ever that I want the Lord to be able to have a clean vessel to work with. Why should He always have to work around my faults? Well the truth is HE WONT ALWAYS. I feel like that time may be drawing closer and closer to being over. I want my inside to match my outside. Now back to my weapons. In my praying about these character flaws I was to the point where I was crying out and telling the Lord that "this is what's wrong with me and I have no idea how to help it"?!! I was asking for help. The Wed. night before Bro. Wyzard from McAlester, OK was here and he spoke about an experience he had had. The Lord told him in this experience that "He wasn't going to come down any further we must come up"! I couldn't stop thinking about that. How do you come up? What did I need to do to come up? A million thoughts ran through my head; but the next morning the Lord dealt with me to get up and read my Bible and pray before the kids get up. I do read everyday; but I always saved it for right before bed. One thing Bro. Wyzard said was that the Lord would give us our DAILY bread. Not our bread for tomorrow; but what we needed to make it through TODAY. How could I get what I needed for today if I was waiting till the end of the day to read and pray? So...I did that for a couple days and really felt more strength. Was thinking that maybe he knew what he was talking about.=D Saturday morning the kids woke up early so I missed my time; but as soon as the kids went down for a nap I went to my room to fulfill my comitment to the Lord. I opened Bro. Whittle's book to see what I was to read that day and could have shouted when I read that it was 2 Corinthians 10. After I read this I closed my Bible and began to cry and pray. I had a really good experience that day. It is the scripture that talks about the weapons of our warfare not being carnal. It starts out in v.3 says that we do not war after the flesh... The light bulb finally went off. If you try to fight with the flesh against the flesh you will LOSE!! You have to fight with your spiritual guns!! You can't fight a bear with a water pistol. GIVE ME A RIFLE!!! (2 Corinthians 10:4 - For the weapons of our warfare are NOT carnal, but MIGHTY through GOD to the pulling down of strongholds...) I can't do it in myself. The more that I try to do it in myself the worse I make it. The more I try to ignore it the bigger it grows. Bro. Whiittle also said in his book - "There are exalted notions and opinions in the castle of the human mind that must be conquered and demolished". How? By spiritual weapons. "Some prejudices may be destroyed by neglect, but there are many more which must be (I love this) STORMED BY VIOLENCE. This can only be accomplished by Divine strength imparted by the Holy Spirit and the dynamic Word of God. There are some areas in which we must simply stand still and see the salvation of the Lord; there are others in which we are to fight the good fight of faith".


This song came to mind later that day and I have been singing it ever since.
I haven't slayed the dragon yet; but I've been giving him some good jabs!!


"And we are in the army of the Lord
We've been washed in the blood
And we are going forth
There is nothing that can stop
This mighty moving force
With a SHOUT a PRAISE
a TWO-EDGED SWORD.
Every strong hold and bondage
Must fall beneath our feet
Every prisoner held captive
MUST BE FREED
For our deliverance has come
Through the POWER OF THE SON
It's the blood-bought the church
THE REDEEMED!!!

Faith

"These all died in faith, not having recieved the promises, but having seen them far off, and they were PERSUADED of them, and confessed that they were strangers and pilgrims on the earth .  For they that say such things DECLARE PLAINLY that they seek a country.  And truly if they had been mindful of that country FROM WHENCE THEY CAME OUT, they might have had opportunity to have returned.  But now they desire a BETTER COUNTRY, that IS, and HEAVENLY: wherefore God is not ashamed to be called their God: for He hath prepared for them a city."

Hebrews 11:13-16

Bro. Whittle:


"Now faith is the substance of things hoped for..."; that is, it is a REALITY, and not a fancy or figmanent of the imagination. It is the fulfillment of your dreams; it is heaven's answer to the longings and desires of the earth. It is that which is a SURE foundation...Faith is the ingredient that enables the trusting heart to act upon the promise as though they were fulfillment; it translates the uncertain future into the certain now; it transforms the invisible into what can be seen and known.

"Now faith is...the evidence of things not seen..."; that is, it is the facts established as legitimate proof. Faith is MORE than desire it is the fulfillment of desire. The foundation of faith is THE WORD OF GOD. Faith rests confidently in that which God declares. To believe, that God will do exactly what He promised in by no means presumption; it is FAITH in the INTEGRITY of GOD and HIS WORD.

The Boxer

Lastnight I was laying in bed just thinking over the things that happened this weekend. We heard such encouraging words. Words that to the flesh are hard to swallow; but renewed the inner man and gave him strength to stand and fight.


I was laying there thinking and this picture developed. I would tell you to close your eyes; but then you couldn't read it. LOL.

Imagine this boxing ring and in one corner you see a boxer enter the ring (the Body of Christ). Slowly he begans to put weight on one foot ... and then the other. Back and forth, back and forth. He raises his hands and takes a couple little practice jabs. First the left ... then the right. Back and forth ... back and forth. His opponent steps into the center ring and the crowd goes wild. The boxer slowly, confidently walks into the center ring. He surveys his opponent. Tattered and worn are his garments. Muscles big is mountains. Spewing all sorts of hate and misery from his lips. This opponent to the natural eye is severe and impenitrable. Any normal man would cower at thought of facing such a man. But slowly the boxer lifts his head. His eyes shine bright with knowing. A hush fills the room and He is filled with that strength from within. He's not alone. Adorned in white and draped with banners of the victories they've won he raises his hands to fight. He takes one last look at his corner to make sure and recieves a nod from his faithful coach. The man that has done it all.

Whether it takes one punch or 10 it doesn't matter because he knows that he can win. This beast of a man will not stand against HIS mighty hand. For they have done the work. Prepared the way and they know that POWER had been given unto Him and that he is MORE than a conquerer. The ref gives the signal and his opponent begins to lunge; but the power alive within the boxer rises up and **BAM** one powerful, mighty, solid blow and down goes that beast of a man. The boxer steps back and not a sound is heard. His opponent goes down. ONE...TWO...THREE...FOUR...FIVE...SIX...SEVEN...EIGHT...NINE...10!!! The boxer is your winner!!! Instead of giving in to the roar of the crowd the boxer turns and falls to his knees. He bows to the man in his corner. The Lion of the Tribe of Judah. The Captain of the Lords host. He is the one that has won this battle. He is the one that deserves this praise. He is the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords; and without him this fight would be in vain.

So think not about what the Lord is asking of you. It is but a small thing. Turn and look at that man in your corner. HE paid it all. HE holds the keys to victory. With him there is no character flaw you cannot overthrow. There is no mountain you cannot move. There is no victory that you cannot win. Make sure you have Him in your corner and the battle is "ours" thus saith the Lord.

Strong Tower

Last night Bro. Wright was talking about when you find yourself in the midst of temptation that there will always be a way of escape; and that we are to look for it. When I am in the midst of a temptation I seldom take the time to think much less look for a way of escape. This morning as I was reading I read the scripture


Proverbs 18:10 “The name of the Lord is a strong tower: the righteous runneth into it, AND IS SAFE.”


This brought to mind an experience I had this weekend.


Sunday morning I had the girls in service and Phillip was at work. It was a pretty good service; but my children were acting “extra crazy”. ;o) I was so frustrated by the end of service I was in tears. I could feel this anger starting to build inside as I was driving to lunch. I was beginning to be short with my kids and I could just feel myself sliding into this place of complaining and lashing out. I could see this happening and I thought in my head Lord I don’t want to go there anymore. I don’t want to be upset at my children because I didn’t get to focus completely on the service. I felt this unction to call on the name of the Lord so I just started saying JESUS!!! I didn’t know how or what to pray for; but I began to call on His name. Pretty soon I began to speak in tongues and the Holy Ghost filled my car.

It dawned on me as I was reading this morning and thinking on last nights service that that had been my way of escape. The situation didn’t change in the fact that I still had missed the majority of that service; but my attitude had elevated so that I could be ok with that.

That may seem like a small thing; but it has given me faith that in EVERY temptation to come the Lord will send that way of escape. If I don’t see it at first I can call on the name of the Lord and He will show me that way of escape.

Thankful

Sitting on my bed this afternoon before church and thinking on some things. Tonight we had church. Since Christmas fell on our regular church night we all still came in and had church. As I was thinking about church and getting ready these thoughts dropped in my head...I am so happy to be going to church tonight. It kind of surprised me at the feeling I was having. I always enjoy church when I get there; but sometimes it is hard to get up and go. Phillip wouldn't be able to go with me and there was no nursery so I would have to sit through church by myself with them. For some this may not be a big deal; but my children haven't quite learned to sit still yet. On any other given church service when I have to do this I grumble and complain about it the whole way there and then to Phillip on the phone the whole way home. So, the fact that I was so happy to go under these circumstances was odd. I knew in my mind that I would be going alone with them, and that "this" situation was going on; and that "that" had happened. My mind was carrying all these burdens; but my heart leaped within me to know that I could go one more time to worship the Lord. My Holy Ghost was excited. I am thankful!!! We have almost made it through another year. I AM STILL HERE!!! There was nothing so big that happened this year that caused me to lose my way. Now I am NOT saying that things haven't happened; but there has been nothing so big that HE couldn't handle!!


When I got to church I could feel the Holy Ghost right away. The band played Blessed Redeemer and I love that song. We were entering into his courts with praise. Then Sis. Luvanna Marshall began playing All Hail King Jesus; and from the first note the Holy Ghost filled that building. If I could've thought of a song to go with what I was feeling that would be it!!! The Holy Ghost welled up inside me and burst forth!!!


I am SO THANKFUL to have been in service tonight!!!



He is STILL God today!!


He is STILL able to heal!!!


He is STILL able to save!!!


He hears!!


He holds!!


He strengthens!!


He keeps!!!


HE IS STILL GOD!!!!

Pliable

We always hear the scenario of how we need the fire to get all the wrinkles out of our lives. They use an example of an iron ironing clothing. As I was ironing Sophia's skirt this morning a few thoughts dropped into my head. Her skirt had gotten twisted in the dryer and was almost unrecognizable. I ironed and I steamed; but the wrinkles just wouldn't come out! I turned the heat up and even held the iron on just a little bit longer trying to make the skirt cooperate. Finally I added a little water, and heat; and steam. Those wrinkles came right out. Thought how some wrinkles won't come out just with fire. They are so deep that it takes all three. Heat, steam; and water. The water was needed to make the skirt pliable so that the heat could do it's job. Hmmm... Maybe if I can stay pliable the heat won't take as long.

Dancing for the Lord

I remember someone speaking a few services back about getting your children comfortable feeling the Spirit of the Lord so that they would never be afraid of it. 

We were watching a DVD of one of the services this week and they were playing Looking for a City.  My girls were hopping and dancing all around the living room.  As I was watching them and thinking about them being comfortable with the Holy Ghost I thought why not practice here?  So I went and got their hands and we started dancing and praising the Lord together.  Don't get me wrong...no one fell out in the Spirit that day; but whose to say that one day they wont.  I have had plenty of experiences with the Lord in my home and who's to say that they can't have their own as well?  I even remember hearing of several people getting the Holy Ghost in their own homes.  I would love for the Spirit of the Lord to dwell in our home always so that whenever they need or want to they can touch the Lord. 

I enjoyed dancing in our living room with my girls.  Another memory to cherish.

Lord I Want to Go

Since Sophia was old enough to relate to music and actually understand songs she has loved the son "Lord I Want to Go, Keep showing me the way...".  When she first started singing it she would clap and say "GO" ... "WAY".  It was adorable.  The other night in church they began to play that song and she sat on the edge of her seat.  Pretty soon I looked down and she was clapping and singing along word for word.  I must admit that some pride crept into my heart.  I know that she also loves to sing "The Wheels on the Bus" etc... but to hear her singing church songs does something for my soul!!  I am so thankful for this. 

To top it all off the other night she was standing in our living room clapping and singing so I decided to go to the piano and play along with her.  We played and sang it several times together while Maya danced in the background.  I could feel the Lord fill my heart with gratitude for the mercy he has shown me and my family.  He didn't have to; but He did.  I hope and pray that she always has a love for this people and this way; and that she gets planted so deep that no winds can shake her out.

Today

9am - Maya dumps a bowl of eggs with ketchup (yes I said ketchup, move on!!!) onto my WHITE dining room chair.

*note to self - must get plastic covers


noon - Maya & Sophia decide to piant my piano with Vaseline

*note to self - hide vaseline


3pm - My 3 year old is afraid to get out of bed for fear of a spanking so she decides to POOP in her BED!!!!!!!!!!


So far we are at 3 hour intervals for disasters. What will happen at 6pm???? Lord help us all!!!

Hard Things

My shortcomings as a mother and wife are sometimes overwhelming.  I think that I should be the supermom  I see others being and then get frustrated when I just...fail.  It was one of these times that I was completely at my whits end and I was crying out to the Lord, begging for help.  I had watched a major character flaw that I fight daily manifest itself in my almost 3 year old.  She is to young to know what was happening; but I felt like the Lord allowed me to see that so that I would realize that even though my children are still young, what I do, what I say; and how I act is affecting them.  They pick up on EVERYTHING!!!  It is becoming part of their character.  Scary I know!!!  I started praying immediately and asking the Lord to help me break that stronghold in my life and not to let me pass that on to my children.  I felt like He heard me; but I also feel like it is something that cannot just be prayed away.  It is something that is going to take some true dedication and hard work.  If I want to be a godly example to my daughters it is something that I must work at.  I must recognize the shortcomings in my life and then when the Lord shows them to me I must commit to do the work.  It is not something that if just left alone it will go away.  Neglect is also a sin!!  So, I felt like the Lord asked me to do something.  It may seem silly to some; but I felt like it was a step that I had to make.  Before this I would wake up in the morning and DRAAAAGGGG out of bed.  Go to get my children and start the day.  By the first 10 minutes we were up that morning I am sure I had already lost my temper and therefore ruined the whole day.  I would be aggravated at myself which then would cause me to take it out on my entire family.  I wasn't really angry at them; but I took it out on them.  This was making for a very miserable day/LIFE.  I would then fall into bed that night to read my Bible and find myself repenting the entire time for all I had done that day.  I didn't feel like I had made a step higher.  I had failed MISERABLY!!!  The Lord dealt with me about starting my days reading my Bible and praying before my children got up.  The Bible says were to get our "daily bread".  What is that bread???  Besides all the things we can think of it is our strength to fight that day.  I was going all day without any strength.  I have not been doing this very long and I don't want you to think that I don't still have bad days; but there is something to waking up before your children and talking to the Lord.  Even if all I do is sit quietly after reading I feel like I am laying my day at His feet and asking Him to be the head of it.  I feel like I am better equipped to face the trials of the day when I know that I have asked Him for help already.  I know this was long; but I really feel that there is something in this for us.  I believe that if we put Jesus first in every aspect of our lives He will fight our battles for us.       

Funny & Sweet Things...

Last Weekend I was getting really blessed during church and had Maya on my lap...I would holler and rock back and forth and she would giggle.  It was so hard to stay in the spirit and eventually I gave up.  I opened my eyes and there she sat staring and grinning from ear to ear.  Gotta Love that.

My daughter Sophia and I are so much alike in our temperaments that we tend to clash a lot of the time; but I have been working on our relationship and the other day she looked at me and said mommy "I like you".  Made me feel all gooey inside.  She craves my attention and I am trying to do better about laying my work down and hugging my child.

Sophia loves to talk and Maya loves to feel a part of the conversation...The other day we were driving and Sophia was trying to tell me a story and at the top of her lungs Maya starts jabbering off something no one can understand yet.  Sophia would get louder and Maya would to.  I don't think we ever were able to finish that story; but instead we all had a good laugh.

My Heart Melted

Tonight as Sophia and I said our prayers I noticed that she was mumbling and moving her hands.  As I listened closer I realized she was praying and signing.  She was praying for her Mamaw and Mom and Dad etc... and every time that she would say their name she would sign it.  I stopped praying myself to listen to her and she got embarrassed.  I told her it was ok she could keep praying; but she shook her head no, so I hugged her and said AMEN. Talk about things that melt your heart.
I often wonder what it will be like to watch her give her heart to the Lord.   What will it be like to hear her speak in tongues for the first time.  If I am there for any of those events I am sure that I will feel the same sense of thankfulness that I felt tonight.  God is so good and faithful.
More than anything, I want my children to give their lives to the Lord.  I want them to know the same joy and peace and comfort that I experience everyday.  I want them to have that close PERSONAL relationship with Him.  So that they know that He is there for them whenever they call.
I know that there is mercy laid up for families by past generations that have dedicated their lives to the Lord; but I want to do my part to show them the way.  I want to allow the Lord to take such control of my life that my children can call me blessed.  I want them to look at my life and God's handiwork.  I know that they will see my faults; but I want them to be able to say she had this wrong; but look at how she allowed the Lord to change that.  Look how He made something beautiful out of her life.
Help me Lord to show forth mercy, and love, and kindness to my children.  Help me to help them see Jesus in me.     

Check...

Dinner cooked...check.
Family stuffed...check.
Kids bathed...check.
Kitchen clean...check.
Family asleep...check.
Peace and quiet...check check.

In My Daughter's Eyes

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eLS0Y40WwlA

Someday I hope that I will be worthy of the love that I see in my two daughter's eyes.  I know that sometimes I will have to see hurt, disappointment, and even anger in those eyes; but I hope that there is joy there more often than not.  I know that I have a long way to becoming a good mother and I pray everyday that even when I mess up the Lord helps me not to do anything that will cause a lasting scar to their lives.  They are my life. 
I love you girls!! 

Sunday School

This Sunday my big little girl (Sophia) went to Sunday School for the first time.  Here teacher said that she did very well.  For the rest of the day she told me the story of Naaman (sp?) the leper.  She said that he was dirty and stinky and had to go into the water to get clean.  I was shocked that she had retained that much information of the story.  She is growing up way too fast.  In the last few months I have seen her blossom before my eyes.  It's so neat to watch her go from being a baby to this little person who can now hold conversations with me...and they make sense.  =D  I feel time slipping away sometimes...   

Things I want to remember . . .

• To allow your kids to have friends over. If they’re in your house you wont have to wonder what they are up to.

• To always allow your children to tell you (nicely) how they honestly feel even if they or you have misunderstood the situation.

• To support Phillip when he makes a decision about the kids.  Back him up.
  
• To love their daddy with all my heart, and not to just say it; but to let them see me show it.

• Remember what you do directly shapes your child’s outlook on life.

• Show your children to Jesus…

Potty Trained

Yep you read that title right. 
I think she has done it!! 
I think the trick was for me to calm down and wait her out! =D 
I think I will remember this as being one of the proudest days of my life!!!

Now in a few months I get to do it again with Maya Lyn.   

Potty Training Day 2

Today was not the greatest day.  I had to leave to take a piano lesson and I think it messed my little girl up.  She had several accidents today.  She had a rough day.  She didn't go #2 either and I think her little tummy hurts.  Tomorrow will be a better day.  I will have to just focus on her the next couple of days till she feels a little more comfortable.  My poor baby :(

Potty Training Fun

Well today was Sophia's first "official" no diaper day.  Last night before she went to bed I told her that today when she woke up all her diapers would be gone.  I showed her where they were and told her that when she came back tomorrow they would be gone.  I told her that it was time for her to use the potty like a big girl.  So I told her lets go brush your teeth and go to bed so that you can be a big girl tomorrow.  I was putting the toothpaste on her toothbrush and when I turned around she had taken her diaper off, climbed onto the potty; and was going potty all by herself!!!  PRAISE THE LORD!!!  I chuckled to myself and prayed "Lord, let this mean that tomorrow will be a breeze".

When we woke up this morning I took her to the potty and she was very excited.  I showed her that all of her diapers were gone and that the only thing left were big girl panties. 

We started off the day bare bottomed.  I had read an article that said that this approach would guarantee that she would be potty trained in 3 days.  Hey, sounded good to me.  She made it all the way to nap time that way.  She would say I'm going potty and take off running to the potty where she WOULD ACTUALLY POTTY ON THE POTTY!!!  No kiddin'!!   Needless to say I was very excited.  After her nap I decided to put on her panties and see how that went.  She decided she did not WANT to were her panties.  :o) 

After a little coaxing she decided to were her special Cinderella panties. 

We ended the day with only one accident in which really, it was my fault for not paying attention; and one happy mommy.  Tomorrow may be another story; but for right now we are doing great.

A little side note:  My baby girl Maya Lyn was very interested in the potty today as well.  Sophia would take off running to the potty, mommy would follow to help; and then here comes Maya Lyn.  Didn't matter what she was doing she had to come and sit down in front of her sister while she went potty.  If I had thought about it I would have posted a picture.  I think I spent most of my time cleaning up Maya from playing in the potty instead of Sophia from having accidents.

Awww  well, such is life.  Just another story to write down in my journal for my girls to read later. 

Not very good at this...

I am new at this so you'll have to be patient. 
I really don't know what I'm doing.  :-)

Clean Floor

Ok guys, so you're going to look at this picture and say "This is just a picture of a bare floor. Am I missing something?". The answer is no, it's just a bare floor, nothing special; but it's the story behind this floor that is interesting.


The rest of the story:

I am not a domestic person. I hate housework. I only do it because if I didn't our house would end up on the show "Hoarders" within a couple of days. One reason I hate doing housework is because I feel (as I'm sure others do at times) that I am the only one who knows how. 

To me my house is just a place that I sleep. My life revolves around things outside my home. If I could, I would live in the church and spend my life piddling around there all day. My house to me is not really what I consider my HOME. Which would be well and good except that I am a wife and a mommy. I have realized that my husband and children do not feel the same way that I do about our house. They see it as a place of safety, peace; a refuge. To them it is a home. Because I am the woman of our house it is my job to maintain that safety and peace for them. (lightbulb) I am sure that you all have already figured this out; but it has taken me a while to learn that my family is just as important as my drive to work for the Lord. They are both different and have different responsabilities; but they are BOTH important.

The Lord has been dealing with me about Proverbs 31 and trying to become that kind of woman. The entire scripture talks about NOT being lazy!!

Ex. - ...worketh WILLINGLY with her hands...

... She ariseth also while it is yet night...

... She looketh WELL to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness...

and so on.

A few weeks ago I started out with a strong determination that before I went to bed EVERY NIGHT my children's toys would be put away, the laundry would be put in its place; and the kitchen would be clean. I know these sound like small tasks; but in my house they are not!! I did well for a while and then the snowball effect began. I went out of town to see my sister. Since then it feels like I have been playing catch up; but never the less I AM DETERMINED!!!

Now that I have given you the background let me tell you about the floor...

When we came back from my sister's house I quickly unpacked the suitcases (normally they sit for weeks) and put everything away. Now, because I am short I have to depend on my husband to put the suitcases away. I am NOT telling you this to gripe about my husband!! I have a very good husband!!  I have a point. For weeks I asked him to put them away and day after day they remained. Finally the youth trip rolled around and we needed them again so I asked him if when we got home he would put them away for me. When we came home from the youth trip I immediately emptied them and set them in this small space of floor. I didn't say anything except for once to ask him to put them away. I had determined I was not going to gripe. I was going to see if I could actually keep my mouth shut. By this time the kids have figured out that you can 1) - stack them like dominoes and then push them over, 2) - Stand on them and jump off REALLY HIGH; and 3) that they make great chairs.
Still trying to keep my mouth shut!!

So today I decided to ignore them and start my project of getting rid of toys and clothes etc. out of the girls' rooms. I was working away and Phillip got up to get ready for work. When I opened the door he was taking the suitcases out to the shop. PRAISE THE LORD!!!

That small task that he did inspired me to keep on going. One day I will get this house organized and if I keep my mouth shut sometimes the Lord will answer the desires of my heart. Yes, this patch of floor being clean was a desire of my heart.

So this small patch of clean floor symbolizes something more than just a patch of clean floor. I see victory written across it. No there are still dishes in the sink and toys on the floor; but I am determined that with the Lord's help I will be able to change from a messy person to a well-oiled cleaning machine. :-D

Hope that made you smile today. Keep on working!!