Sophia our first born is reaching the age to where it is time to start thinking about her education. She is only 3; but already I can tell that she is becoming very bored with her everyday life of playing. She needs more. As I started thinking about all this I began thinking about my options. Option 1 - We found a great little mother's day out down the street that she absolutely loved. Option 2 - I could try to invent ideas to try and occupy her. Option 3 - to put her in 2 day mother's day out for the social reasons and then spend my 5 days at home with her teaching her myself. Or we could continue on this path that we are on. Not an option anymore. My children need more. I need more.
I have found in my life that I am a very schedule oriented person. Even though I don't have one written out I tend to do the same things in the same order every time. I have also learned in the last few months that when something interrupts that unwritten schedule my whole world falls apart. Not good as life always happens. I need a schedule; but I need one that is flexible and leaves room for life to happen.
I have gotten so off kilter lately that I have felt that I have been going around in circles. No progress. Now that the Lord has helped me with my relationship with Phillip I think He is moving on to my relationship with my children. I am going to say this and you may disagree or even laugh...now that we are moving into this new stage in our lives (preschool) I must admit that infancy was easier. I know with all the craziness of that it sounds crazy; but I think it's true. They couldn't talk back and I could appease them with a bottle or food. LOL!! It doesn't work like that anymore. I find myself losing my temper now more than ever before. Over silly stuff. The lessons are getting harder. Lord help me when I have 2 teenagers in the house!!!
In my quest for organization I am finding that not just my home needs organizing; but my life. I have just kind of went along with the flow and now it is catching up with me. If I don't take hold (with the Lord's help of course) of my days I am just giving them over to whatever decides it's interested. I keep thinking about places in the Bible that talk about the unprofitable servant, and the slothful; and worse yet the house that was clean and swept.
I could continue on; but I will get to the point. I am horrible about planning and follow through. That would be the Choleric part of me. I can plan like a champ; but my follow through is lacking. So I am asking for your prayers as I go on this journey. It is MY job as a mother to teach my children the way to go; and I feel that need so much lately. I have been neglectful in this area of my home and the Lord has really been dealing with me about this. As I'm sure you can tell by my previous posts. I want my husband and children to call me blessed. Not because I am so great; but because I did everything I could to make them feel great!!! I want Christ's love to shine through like never before. How can I expect to be a true and faithful witness for the Lord if my life does not back up my words? Lord help me.
Once I figure it out I will post my schedule on here as a kind of accountability test. Maybe if I know you all are watching me I will be more apt to doing it. I am giving it a month in which I will try to work all the kinks out and then hopefully starting in September we will be off to the races. I feel my inadequacies very strongly; but I feel the need for a change. I know that I do not have the strength; but HE does.
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