Ever feel like your life is held out in front of you and after you've had it inspected it is handed back to you for you to view with a whole new perspective. I felt like today that happened to me.
I got the rare opportunity to sit with a group of women from all different types of lives and just talk. I did a lot of listening because I felt like the Lord had ordered our conversation.
Sometimes in your life the devil, the flesh, your own mind whatever you want to call it can take a situation and magnify one small part of it in order to change your focus. You can zoom in on one thing and begin your very own pity party. Which unfortunately I am very good at doing. I get so sidetracked sometimes it takes a miracle to straighten me out.
I have spent the last week in this predicament.
I even decided that I was going to quit. In fact Sunday night I sat in a pew in church and thought to myself ... today is the day that I quit. I am tired of trying to keep my spirit right and treat people right with no results. Sooo...if you were in our service Sunday night you know that the first person who got up and talked basically tried my case. I knew the Lord was talking to me.
I still had lived in this state for a whole week and the feeling has been hard to shake.
As I arrived today to eat with my family I really was trying to have a good time; but the "whoa is me's" kept looming over me. Some things, I do have a reason to be concerned about; but there is nothing I can do about them so going over and over them just isn't doing me any good.
As I sat and listened to the conversation I actually began to feel the Lord deal with my "subject". Just in the things being talked about. As it progressed I got a candid look into a life that I know if I had to live I would fail miserably. As she talked you could feel her sincerity in trying to find the Lord in her situation and to do things right. She wants to learn everything the Lord is trying to teach her in her situation and is really seeking the Lord to lead her. Most people would look at her situation and would give her advice to give up and walk away; but the Lord for now is asking her to treat him right. To allow the situation to work out in her what it needs too. I felt that I had not just heard a sermon loud and clear; but experienced one. For a moment I stepped outside of my pity party and stepped into a moment where she even has the "right" to have a pity party; but instead is choosing to find the Lord in it. I felt like the Lord was telling me to get up off my "spoiled rotten brat behind" and go to work. I am nowhere near her situation and she has a much better spirit than I do. Even though my concerns are legitimate they are nothing in comparison. Instead of worrying about it so much I need to give it to the Lord. EVERYDAY!!! If I quit then all the work I have done up till now is for nothing. Instead of trying to carry all these burdens it is time to give them to the Lord and let Him worry about them. I just need to keep my mouth shut (will make me a perfect overcomer for sure :o) and take it one step at a time.
A lot of the times I spend my time looking at the long term so much that I miss out on the right now. I over analyze everything. How will what I do now affect my kids 10, 20, 30 years from now? In some respects that is good; but where it becomes detrimental is to spend all my time WORRYING about the future. If I take it one step at a time the future will take care of itself...better yet the LORD will take care of it.
I feel like the Lord took the time to give me a little lesson on humility today and I am thankful.
Lord help me to listen to the pillow and not require a 2 x 4.
Saw this posted on a friends page and loved the thought.
Hebrews 12:11 says"All discipline for the moment seems not to be joyful, but sorrowful; yet to those who have been trained by it, afterwards it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness."
(KJV says : "Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby. ")
What a comforting thought on so many levels. They were using it in reference to having to be hard on your children. The thought was used about being a "mean" parent. So many times have I cried about having to be that parent; but then I go to the store and see children who have "nice" parents. I wonder if maybe my thinking is obviously reversed. I don't want to be a "nice" parent if my children turn out like that. Lord help me!!
I have 3 million other things that I need to be doing right now; but I wanted to write this down while it was still fresh.
For the last 5 or 6 years we have worked in the CD department at our church. When we had children it became to much for us and I began praying for the Lord to send us someone. I have felt more and more I am needed at home in this season of my life. (Love that phrase...season of life.) In the last year this has happened and as of now we are no longer over that department. Even with all the confirmations we received from the Lord you still wonder if you are letting the Lord down in some way.
Today I was in the midst of writing my letter of resignation to our subscribers and just as I hit the send button my daughter (Maya) takes off her diaper and begins to play in it. It was number two!!!
I hit send and began to prepare her for her bath. I was filling up the tub with water and I started laughing to myself. Ok Lord, thank you for letting me know I am in your perfect will in this. No more doubts or musings over it!! I believe that was the last bit of "confirmation" I needed!!! LOL!!!!
One of the reasons that I started this blog was because I believe that women can help women by telling their experiences and sharing the lessons they've learned. The Bible tells us that these truths are to be passed down to each generation, and so there is so much to be gained from others who have gone through the same things. I can't tell you the many times that I have gotten responses from you that have been just what I needed. I have had problems solved and questions answered many times over. Thank you for that.
I would like to encourage each of you that if you feel like commenting to please do. You never know what you can do to help someone else reading it. Also, if you would like to suggest a topic for discussion or have something encouraging you would like to post I would like to invite you to do that. Email me any of these suggestions etc...and I will post them on my blog. I will even do it anonymously if you would like.
I am also opening a new section under the LABELS called Preparing. I think this would be a good place for those of you that are preparing to take on these roles in life.
I know that there are some of you that have real stories to tell so I am encouraging you to share here :o)
One of the single most important pieces of advise I have been given lately came in a discussion we had a few weeks ago.
"Remember that when your children are gone you will still be married."
About a year ago the Lord really began dealing with me to work on my relationship with my husband. It was funny because He had to get me into that position to where I realized that I NEEDED to work on it. Sad I know; but really I think I had all my priorities backwards. I was a 1st a child of God, 2nd a mom; and 3rdly a wife. Phillip often got pushed to the side. After all I was fighting for my salvation and the training of my children. :-( Now looking back after about a year of hard lessons I wonder why I couldn't see this before. What was it that was blocking my vision. Being a child of God and striving for the Bride IS important. Being a mom and trying to raise Godly children IS important; but when did I forget that being a Godly wife and a help meet to my husband was also just as important. After all we are on this road to salvation together. We are raising OUR children together. We are in this marriage TOGETHER.
I don't want you to think that we were on the road to divorce; but I do believe that if I had continued on the path that I was on that we may very well have ended up there. I was hurting my husband. How you ask...my looks, my comments to others, by me saying "you always do ____"; and the list goes on. I feel like the Lord led me to the 30 challenge I talk about on here. I believe that was a turning point for me. I watched as my whole perspective changed. As I began to refrain from those looks, words, accusations I watched our relationship change. I am not saying that now we have this perfect relationship because that is not true; but I am learning. I am learning to put my husband in the place he deserves. He deserves my respect and honor. If for no other reason; but because he puts up with me. I am learning that when I talk down to him; or about him to others it cuts away at that relationship I am trying to build. Even if I am disappointed I am supposed to build him up not tear him down. How do I feel when the tables are turned? Do I like to be belittled or to have all my faults laid out on the table? Does it make me feel good to know that my husband is disappointed in me? No, so why would I want to make my husband feel that way? Why would I want him to feel less than he is? Our words are so much more powerful than we know. (Proverbs 18:21 "Death and life [are] in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof.") Through this process I have learned to look at my husband differently.
I told a story to a friend of mine the other night...
When I began to look at Phillip as a possible soul mate I was attracted to him because of who he was. A strong, confident; loving young man. A man full of life and who had a special light in his eyes. I always made the statement that if he ever became a mousy little man who let me walk all over him then I wouldn't even look his direction!! I didn't want to be married to a man who walked around defeated all the time. I told her that after 11 and a half years of marriage I almost saw that light disappear. After years of railings from me I could have lost the qualities that I fell in love with. Thank the Lord that He opened my eyes before it was too late. Now I am working on repairing that trust. That confidence that he once had in me. (Proverbs 31:11 "The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.") I fail...often; but I haven't given up. I want to be a strong Godly wife for my strong Godly man!! I want him to call me blessed. I want him to be known not because of the embarrasement his wife causes him; but for the good that he has done. (Proverbs 31:23 "Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land.")
I just had a thought...one of my biggest hurdles is putting my trust in my husband as a leader. I know this sounds horrible; but I felt like sometimes I know what's best. We were arguing one night and he said "it alwyas has to be Davita's way". I of course denied it; but deep down I knew that was true. He in a few words told me that I didn't respect his position as man of the house. I didn't. I felt awful. I began to ask myself how do I change that? After so long (over 11 years) of thinking one way, how do I change that? The answer sounds really simple...you have to trust God to lead your husband. Ultimately you have to take your worries and concerns to the Lord and trust HIM to take control. Whew...easier said than done I think!! I don't think that voicing your opinion is wrong if it is done in love and if he knows that in the end I will respct his decision. Up until now that is not how I have been doing things. Shame on me; but I am learning with the Lord's help. I want to put him in his GOD GIVEN place and learn to be content with that. That has to be learned. (Titus 2:4 "That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children...") You would think that these things come with being a woman; but they don't. Our nature is what comes with being a woman!! :o)
The 30 day challenge helps you to look at your husbands good qualities and not the bad. It changes your focus. In a round about way by looking and focusing on the good things about your husband it gives you the confidence to actually put your faith and trust in him.
I so appreciate the Lord for taking the time to lead me and expose the areas in my life that need fine tuning. The process by no means is easy and at times very painful; but I am thankful that He doesn't leave us in the condition we are in. He lifts us up out of the filth that we are in, dusts us off; and gives us the grace to change.
So as I continue to work on my relationship with my husband and my children I know that I am doing the will of the Lord. I am doing exactly what he has called me to do right now. He has called me first to be a helpmeet, and second to be a mother; and by doing these things to the very best of my ability I am serving Him as a child of God.
This chorus is going over and over in my head tonight. A clean heart and a right spirit. The Lord promised that a broken and contrite heart He would accept. He would help. He would deliver. Let me fall on the rock and let Him mold me into a true vessel of honor.
So I am putting another discussion question out there. The other one was just really fun :o)
My husband works swing shift with a lot of overtime which makes it hard to plan anything. I have two wonderful small children that sap every ounce of energy that I have. When he is home the one thing we want to both do is sit and stare at the walls in complete and utter silence. I have had some wonderful girls offer to babysit lately so I will be taking advantage of that asap; but my question is (and please answer)
1) What can we do at home to keep our relationship strong?
2) Is it wrong to want to just sit in silence once in a while?
3) Would anyone like to babysit for a few days so we can go on a cruise? LOL!!!
- My husband - a faithful man - with him you get what you get. There is no pretence or falseness in him. He loves the Lord and when the Lord deals with him he does what he feels. There is no act.
He is what he is.
- My beautiful daughter Sophia - the Lord truly showed me how real He is and that He cares for me when she was born. He let me know that He knows MY name (and hers to).
- My beautiful daughter Maya - The Lord changed my life with her in my arms at a youth meeting in Dallas, TX. I believe He showed me that even I could make the Bride. She is my joy.
- Air conditioning - without this life would be most miserable :o)
- The peaceful rain we received yesterday.
- The sound of the birds and a banging hammer outside, and the fact that I have the ability to hear both.
- A roof up above me.
- A soft bed and warm arms to hold me as I sleep.
- A place to sit and have my soul fed.
- A Family of a different kind.
- A chance to be a light. Not just to this world; but in my own home.
- The times when the Lord makes me uncomfortable in order to teach and correct me.
- The times of refreshing that come in the midst of those lessons.
- That the Lord doesn't let me get too far before he yanks on my chain :o)
- That I am still here.
- For the comfort that the word of God brings.
- For the songs written in the song book of my heart.
- For the soft whispers of the Holy Ghost as I go throughout my days.
Wow...the more I write the more I find I am thankful for. This may be my biggest folder yet LOL!!!
This sounded like a really good idea and I am going to put a twist on it. Sometimes in the midst of things going on we forget to find the good. I am going to (as others on their blogs have done) try to write down the positive things, the things that only come from the Lord, or the things that make you content even when you aren't feeling too content. Everyday things that we take for granted. In every situation there is something good. I want to be able to see the good and not just the bad; so, I will be doing this as often as necessary and placing them under the label Thankful. Truly I am blessed and have much to thank the Lord for...
I think that it is so easy to get caught up in "living" life and just trying to make it through that sometimes I forget to cherish the days that I am in. As my youngest has just turned 2 I realize that 2 whole years of her life has now passed. No do-overs. Time seems to be flying by tonight. I almost feel like going to wake them up for a hug...almost :o)
These are the precious days and years of our lives. The ones where our little family is growing. I have two beautiful daughters and if I am not careful it will all be gone in a flash; and I will have missed it all. Lord help me to live in the day that I'm in and to cherish each and everyday I have with them. Help me to remember them in the midst of the hustle and bustle of the day. Don't let me forget that while I am living my life...they are too...and they will remember the good AND the bad. Help my words to be sweet and my correction to always be wrapped in love. Lord, help them to always know that I love them and that their lives mean something to me. They matter to me. They are important TO ME!! Help me remember in the midst of the bad times that those will fade and be forgotten; but Lord help me hold on tight to all the good times. It WONT be like this forever. Someday things will change. They will grow up and think that they don't need me anymore.
Help me enjoy all the time I have with them right now...for it seems so soon it will be all gone.
I was thinking about trials and I had a little thought. I while back a minister in our church was up talking and he said that you can build a wall around yourself so tight that even God can't get in there to try you. I know we all know that God can do anything that He wants; but as I was thinking about it today this thought dropped in my head. You have to OPEN yourself up to be tried. We all say I want to change and I want to overcome my nature; but really...how do you do that? You have to go through things that teach you. They burn some of that nature out. You have to LEARN to overcome some things by experiences you go through. I wish that it could all be accomplished by just having a desire to; but I think that even in that if you really have a TRUE desire to change then you will open all the windows and throw wide every door as the song says!! Saying (and I have never said this) "OK Lord...you said that your grace was sufficient; let me have it!!" I don't think you really have to say that. You just have to be able to look at every situation that you go through and find God in it. Bro. Brown said this weekend. When you are going through something do your very best to find something good that can come of it. I agree. Ask yourself some of these questions...What can you learn from the situation that you're in? Is it something that you have gone through time and time again? Is there a way of escape? Is there something that you can do different in this situation? Is there a level of higher ground that you can find? Even if the Lord didn't CAUSE your situation He can use it to teach us. Even in that...is there something I have done that has caused the place I'm in? Can I do it different next time?
These are things I have been thinking about today. I really want to make it. I don't think that these are just words to me anymore. I actually believe that it is possible...FOR ME!!! The Lord has given us the Holy Ghost, the Bible, the ministry; and His people as tools for our salvation. I really believe that if I will learn to use them in the right way I CAN make the Bride. It's not just something that I have been taught all my life. It's not just a glorious bedtime story. It is REALITY!!! We have been given the opportunity to make the Bride of Christ!! Praise the Lord!!! Halleluia!!!!
We have a wonderful Savior!!!
He's on His throne!!
He will never forsake us!!
Nor leave us alone!!
He gave a wonderful promise!!
He can not fail!!!
And by His spirit
WE SHALL PREVAIL!!!
Sent this in an email to my sister in law and I thought I would share it with y'all:
We are doing pretty good. A lot of changes going on in our life and I think the Lord seems to be giving us a little extra "attention" if you know what I mean; but all is well!!! If I can look in the midst of all that and see myself growing then it is all worth it right :o) I told a testimony the other night in church about a teapot. LOL!!! I said that I was in my closet getting some clothes ready for church and a picture of a teapot popped into my head. I could feel myself "the teapot" about to boil over. All the sudden I stopped and noticed that I could feel the Holy Ghost!!! I thought that is so funny...here I am fightin' mad and I feel like shouting!! I started laughing to myself. I told them that when the Lord puts us "the teapot" on that stove he has to let us get a little hot and right about the time that we "the poor teapot" think that we are either going to explode from all the pressure or just flat jump off the stove the Lord opens up that little valve on top of the pot and "WOOOOOOOOOOOOO"!!! He let's us relieve a little bit of pressure. I am learning and growing :o)
He is teaching me everyday and just when I think that there is no hope and I have lost out low and behold He gives me another little nudge!! God is so good!! If I can give my life to Him...fully...then I know that come what may I will make it through in the end.
Tonight my husband took my oldest daughter to the store with him and so for about an hour it was just me and my baby girl. For a while she sat and played with her new baby doll and I cleaned up dinner. I began to notice how quiet it was. My first thought was...wow...that's nice. As I listened further I noticed that there was no sound of fighting, or laughing; or crying. Maya played quietly and I cleaned. After a little bit I noticed that Maya began to aimlessly walk around. She never said a word; but I think she was looking for her playmate. I thought about how that I was so thankful that her and Sophia had each other. Then I thought back to a time when they weren't a part of my life yet. What did I do? I thought how lonely and boring my life had been. When Phillip was at work I was alone. I had no one to talk to, no one to hug. All of the sudden I had a glimpse of what my life would be like without the other half of my family. Lonely. Yes it may be quieter; but I wouldn't trade the laughing, crying, noise that goes on everyday for anything. It may sometimes be chaotic; but my life is full of joy. I may never get all the laundry done at one time...I may always have that one lonely dish that failed to make it in the dishwasher; but I am happy. I wouldn't trade any of that for all the quiet you could offer. I love my little happy family. Thank you Lord...for your blessings on me.
Today as I watched my girls run in to show their Daddy their new Easter dresses I remembered something I heard a long time ago...
"Inside every woman is a little girl who still wants to look pretty for her daddy."
As I thought about this I thought how true. The power to shape my daughter's very self-esteem rests in this one little scenario. At that very moment he has the opportunity to teach them so much.
As they twirl he exclaims with all the enthusiasm he can muster..."OH...you look SO pretty"!
To which both little girls beam and smile...knowing deep down inside that their Daddy thinks they are beautiful. It matters not what anyone else may say because at that moment their Daddy is their whole world!!
I thought about myself...
I was 28 or 29 years old and I walked into church in an outfit I wasn't sure looked right on me. Even married with 2 children. My Dad saw me as I walked in and said "My, doesn't that outfit look nice on you". Even at my age I walked a little bit taller.
I also thought about my husband...
Now instead of needing my Dad's approval as much (I still do need it) I now look to my husband for that little extra assurance that I am OK. Still when I get dressed I walk in an ask my husband if I look alright. Sometimes I get a half hearted "you look fine"; but then there are those occasions when I get the double take ;o)
I agree with the above statement...in every woman there is a little girl looking for approval.