Friday, December 31, 2010

It Does Matter

My heart is so overwhelmed and my mind is just racing so the way I resolve that is to write.

It is amazing to me the amount of people that can feel the Lord dealing with them on things in their lives and know that the Lord is tugging on them; and yet still they think that you can live with one foot in the world and one foot in the church. It breaks my heart actually to see them struggle within themselves everytime they are at church only to get a little bit of relief and go right back to doing the things the Lord has convicted them of. Don't we know the affect it has on our life. I'm talking to me as well because it seems that we all fight this battle somewhere in our walk with the Lord over something we're holding onto. We are either in or out. The Bible says that the lukewarm (one foot in and one foot out) He would eventually spew out of His mouth. We all know this; but to really understand what all that entails I think would spur more of us into action. Yes, I believe the Lord gives second chances, and Yes I think that He has mercy for us; but I do think that eventually it will come down to one last chance. We will either say that "eternal yes" the ministers have been talking about or we will say to the Lord "No, Lord, you know I think I can handle this all on my own".

God forbid!!!! Where would we be without the Lord??? I know the answer to that question in my own life and where I would be is not worth mentioning at all!! I owe Him my life. MY LIFE!!! That is what He wants from each and everyone of us. OUR LIFE. Not to question when He says jump; but to jump with all my might. Bro. Brown tells this story about Bro. Patton and him that I think is kind of funny; but so true for me. He said that if the Lord told Bro. Patton to jump out a window he would just do it. Bro. Brown (like me I think) would have to look out the window and see how far down it was and where the best place to land would be. I am sorry to say that more often than not when the Lord has dealt with me in my own life I tend to relate more to Bro. Brown. I feel like that the time for that in my own likfe is slowly dwindling away. I don't feel like in my life the Lord is pleased with that anymore. Why would the Lord send me before the kings of this world to speak for Him if I question every thing He asks me to do in my own life now. How can the Lord trust me if I don't trust Him. He said if I would keep His commandments that I could have eternal life. What is better than that?

Lord help me to take my foot out of the world and plant them both in you!!!

I had this experience one time the Lord was asking me to give up some things I'd been holding onto. I was really getting a good blessing and I had this picture of those big bulky plastic bracelets. You know the ones you can get in all shapes an sizes? I had them all up and down my arms and written on them were things that I'd been holding onto.
Ex. - hurts, pride, even getting down to the specifics written on these bracelets.
The Lord would have me to look at one of them and he would ask me to take it off and drop it to the floor. Now I wasn't physically doing this, it was all in my head. I would fight a bit; but then I would take off the bracelet and drop it to the floor. This happened several times and the more I took off the deeper I went in the spirit. It was a wonderful expereince. I felt that the Lord was showing me that if I would be willing to take those burdens off that I could have more of Him. To this day I think of that when He starts dealing with me about something. If I can let go of what I'm holding onto I can have more of Him; and untimately there will be none of me left only Him!!!

Praise the Lord!! Ok, now maybe I can sleep.


My Testimoney

Gelina Gilbert asked me to write this a while back...

My testimony...what would I consider my testimony? Since I have been here all my life my testimony may not be quite as spectacular as others. I guess my testimony would be a testimony of the love and mercy of the Lord shed abroad in my life.

When I was 8 or 9 years old the Lord in His own simple way began to show me my need for Him in my life. I gave my heart to Jesus on the edge of my parents bed while blow drying my hair for church. My parents were in the room at the time and I always wondered if they noticed that I was crying and talking to the Lord; but they never said. They let me have my moment with the Lord. From that time on I began to seek the Holy Ghost. I remember one time I was down front and after I was done praying my mother asked me if I thought I got the Holy Ghost. She never said I did or didn't. She wanted me to know for myself. I told her I thought so; but I really hadn't got it. Later on at a Vacation Bible School in spring, TX when I was nine I was down front praying with some of my friends to get the Holy Ghost and something happened. I basically lost track of where I was and what I was doing. To this day I don't remember speaking in tongues right then; but I think that's the moment I actually got it. Later on during that week some of us were all in a circle praying down front and I closed my eyes, opened my mouth; and out came the Holy Ghost. I heard myself. When my mom picked me up I ran outside and jumped in the car. I practically hollered at her "I GOT IT! I GOT THE HOLY GHOST TODAY"! She said, "Are you sure"? I was sure! From then on my parents encouraged me every chance I got to keep my Holy Ghost alive. Through the good and the bad it is my constant comfort. I firmly believe that as a child and a teenager it is important to be soaked in the Holy Ghost. Soaked to overflowing! You should never be ashamed to feel the Holy Ghost. Even if everyone around you isn't showing it they may be feeling it. They may be waiting for someone else to show it so they feel comfortable letting go. This June I will have had the Holy Ghost for 20 years; and I have learned that when you're going through a trial or test it is not always easy to touch the Lord; but it is so important. When my mother passed away I left the funeral and got on a bus and went to a youth meeting in Dallas, TX. That may have been strange to a lot of people; but I knew if I was going to make it through, that I was going to need something extra special from the Lord. He supplied. All through middle and high school I tried to blend in with those around me; but deep down inside I knew I held something different within me than they did. The Lord has never let me forget that and I pray He never will. He's been better than good to me. In 30 years I have watched things change around me and friends come and go; but the Lord has kept his hand on me. By the grace and the mercy of God - I'm still here. Yes, I'm still here...thank you Lord for leading me this way...the vision you gave me grows clearer everyday...I realize Lord you could have chosen others in my place...but I'm so glad I'm in this race...and I'm still here.

Sorry Old Man


(Lord gave me this while Bro. Larry Vance was talking about the things befalling our young people.)

The devil may be bidding a high price for our young people; but be rest assured there will be some that WILL stand up boldly and raise their swords and shields to fight for what our forefathers fought for. There WILL be a generation that will carry the vision of the Body of Jesus Christ on their shoulders. They WILL raise the banner of righteousness up draw the Lord's chosen out of Babylon. WE WILL STAND, WE WILL FIGHT, WE WILL MARCH, AND WE SHALL PREVAIL!!

He stands on the corner bidding us to come in.
"Only for a moment, you don't have to stay.
Sit for a spell, put your feet up.
What does your heart desire?
Riches, power, fame are all here!
You can have all you want,
For just one small price."
Sir you may give me the things of this world.
You may try to fulfill my desires;
But be not deceived my desires are not here.

You may be willing to pay all that you own
For the price of our souls;
But you cannot give us the thing that can fulfill.

Sorry old man; but your time is up!

You've tried your best,
Used all your tricks;
There's nothing left.
My soul you see has already been bought.
Bought with a price
By the Son of God.
You couldn't buy Him,
And you CAN'T BUY ME.

God's prize is one you can't see!
Life everlasting is what my heart desires,
To stand and worship before the Lord's throne.

You see old man, your time is up.

I wont go in and share your dazzle.
There's nothing there but dust and rubble.

See you old man, Your time is up!

My eye is on the prize And I'm not giving in,
Cause I'm on the side that'll win in the end.


Sweet Peace

Sitting here reading all your posts and just thinkn' that my blessings so outweigh my troubles.  This world is full of so much turmoil (sp?);
but I laid my head down last night in sweet peace.
Everything may not be MY version of perfect;
but God is great and in control.
He never said there wouldn't be bad days; but He did promise He wouldn’t leave me or forsake me.
If HE's there with me then what mountain cannot be removed?
What character flaw cannot be overcome?
What fleshly desire cannot be subdued?
If He is beside me then I am MORE than a conqueror!
Praise the Lord? PRAISE THE LORD!!


Weapons of Warfare

My father (not just because he's my father) did an excellent job of talking about this subject this weekend. He didn't even know that the whole week before the Lord had really been talking to me about that. I have some things (as I'm sure we all do) in my character that I fight daily. I (as I'm sure most of you) have been feeling the need to really dig deep and clean out. Bro. Brown a couple weeks ago talked about having a pure heart towards God. He used our dear Sis. Blanchard here as an example. When she gets blessed she has this laugh and holler that just spills out over the whole crowd. He took the chance (after one of these times) to point out that if she didn't have the life to back her up those sounds would not have the affect on the crowd the way it had. Without the life to back it up it just wont work he said. That really struck home with me because (and I don't write this for any glory I am just trying to make my point) I feel like at times the Lord has been able to use me in different ways. I feel like that He has used me even when my life DID NOT back it up. For that I am grateful; but I feel more than ever that I want the Lord to be able to have a clean vessel to work with. Why should He always have to work around my faults? Well the truth is HE WONT ALWAYS. I feel like that time may be drawing closer and closer to being over. I want my inside to match my outside. Now back to my weapons. In my praying about these character flaws I was to the point where I was crying out and telling the Lord that "this is what's wrong with me and I have no idea how to help it"?!! I was asking for help. The Wed. night before Bro. Wyzard from McAlester, OK was here and he spoke about an experience he had had. The Lord told him in this experience that "He wasn't going to come down any further we must come up"! I couldn't stop thinking about that. How do you come up? What did I need to do to come up? A million thoughts ran through my head; but the next morning the Lord dealt with me to get up and read my Bible and pray before the kids get up. I do read everyday; but I always saved it for right before bed. One thing Bro. Wyzard said was that the Lord would give us our DAILY bread. Not our bread for tomorrow; but what we needed to make it through TODAY. How could I get what I needed for today if I was waiting till the end of the day to read and pray? So...I did that for a couple days and really felt more strength. Was thinking that maybe he knew what he was talking about.=D Saturday morning the kids woke up early so I missed my time; but as soon as the kids went down for a nap I went to my room to fulfill my comitment to the Lord. I opened Bro. Whittle's book to see what I was to read that day and could have shouted when I read that it was 2 Corinthians 10. After I read this I closed my Bible and began to cry and pray. I had a really good experience that day. It is the scripture that talks about the weapons of our warfare not being carnal. It starts out in v.3 says that we do not war after the flesh... The light bulb finally went off. If you try to fight with the flesh against the flesh you will LOSE!! You have to fight with your spiritual guns!! You can't fight a bear with a water pistol. GIVE ME A RIFLE!!! (2 Corinthians 10:4 - For the weapons of our warfare are NOT carnal, but MIGHTY through GOD to the pulling down of strongholds...) I can't do it in myself. The more that I try to do it in myself the worse I make it. The more I try to ignore it the bigger it grows. Bro. Whiittle also said in his book - "There are exalted notions and opinions in the castle of the human mind that must be conquered and demolished". How? By spiritual weapons. "Some prejudices may be destroyed by neglect, but there are many more which must be (I love this) STORMED BY VIOLENCE. This can only be accomplished by Divine strength imparted by the Holy Spirit and the dynamic Word of God. There are some areas in which we must simply stand still and see the salvation of the Lord; there are others in which we are to fight the good fight of faith".

This song came to mind later that day and I have been singing it ever since.
I haven't slayed the dragon yet; but I've been giving him some good jabs!!

"And we are in the army of the Lord
We've been washed in the blood
And we are going forth
There is nothing that can stop
This mighty moving force
Every strong hold and bondage
Must fall beneath our feet
Every prisoner held captive
For our deliverance has come
Through the POWER OF THE SON
It's the blood-bought the church


"These all died in faith, not having recieved the promises, but having seen them far off, and they were PERSUADED of them, and confessed that they were strangers and pilgrims on the earth .  For they that say such things DECLARE PLAINLY that they seek a country.  And truly if they had been mindful of that country FROM WHENCE THEY CAME OUT, they might have had opportunity to have returned.  But now they desire a BETTER COUNTRY, that IS, and HEAVENLY: wherefore God is not ashamed to be called their God: for He hath prepared for them a city."

Hebrews 11:13-16

Bro. Whittle:

"Now faith is the substance of things hoped for..."; that is, it is a REALITY, and not a fancy or figmanent of the imagination. It is the fulfillment of your dreams; it is heaven's answer to the longings and desires of the earth. It is that which is a SURE foundation...Faith is the ingredient that enables the trusting heart to act upon the promise as though they were fulfillment; it translates the uncertain future into the certain now; it transforms the invisible into what can be seen and known.

"Now faith is...the evidence of things not seen..."; that is, it is the facts established as legitimate proof. Faith is MORE than desire it is the fulfillment of desire. The foundation of faith is THE WORD OF GOD. Faith rests confidently in that which God declares. To believe, that God will do exactly what He promised in by no means presumption; it is FAITH in the INTEGRITY of GOD and HIS WORD.

The Boxer

Lastnight I was laying in bed just thinking over the things that happened this weekend. We heard such encouraging words. Words that to the flesh are hard to swallow; but renewed the inner man and gave him strength to stand and fight.

I was laying there thinking and this picture developed. I would tell you to close your eyes; but then you couldn't read it. LOL.

Imagine this boxing ring and in one corner you see a boxer enter the ring (the Body of Christ). Slowly he begans to put weight on one foot ... and then the other. Back and forth, back and forth. He raises his hands and takes a couple little practice jabs. First the left ... then the right. Back and forth ... back and forth. His opponent steps into the center ring and the crowd goes wild. The boxer slowly, confidently walks into the center ring. He surveys his opponent. Tattered and worn are his garments. Muscles big is mountains. Spewing all sorts of hate and misery from his lips. This opponent to the natural eye is severe and impenitrable. Any normal man would cower at thought of facing such a man. But slowly the boxer lifts his head. His eyes shine bright with knowing. A hush fills the room and He is filled with that strength from within. He's not alone. Adorned in white and draped with banners of the victories they've won he raises his hands to fight. He takes one last look at his corner to make sure and recieves a nod from his faithful coach. The man that has done it all.

Whether it takes one punch or 10 it doesn't matter because he knows that he can win. This beast of a man will not stand against HIS mighty hand. For they have done the work. Prepared the way and they know that POWER had been given unto Him and that he is MORE than a conquerer. The ref gives the signal and his opponent begins to lunge; but the power alive within the boxer rises up and **BAM** one powerful, mighty, solid blow and down goes that beast of a man. The boxer steps back and not a sound is heard. His opponent goes down. ONE...TWO...THREE...FOUR...FIVE...SIX...SEVEN...EIGHT...NINE...10!!! The boxer is your winner!!! Instead of giving in to the roar of the crowd the boxer turns and falls to his knees. He bows to the man in his corner. The Lion of the Tribe of Judah. The Captain of the Lords host. He is the one that has won this battle. He is the one that deserves this praise. He is the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords; and without him this fight would be in vain.

So think not about what the Lord is asking of you. It is but a small thing. Turn and look at that man in your corner. HE paid it all. HE holds the keys to victory. With him there is no character flaw you cannot overthrow. There is no mountain you cannot move. There is no victory that you cannot win. Make sure you have Him in your corner and the battle is "ours" thus saith the Lord.

Strong Tower

Last night Bro. Wright was talking about when you find yourself in the midst of temptation that there will always be a way of escape; and that we are to look for it. When I am in the midst of a temptation I seldom take the time to think much less look for a way of escape. This morning as I was reading I read the scripture

Proverbs 18:10 “The name of the Lord is a strong tower: the righteous runneth into it, AND IS SAFE.”

This brought to mind an experience I had this weekend.

Sunday morning I had the girls in service and Phillip was at work. It was a pretty good service; but my children were acting “extra crazy”. ;o) I was so frustrated by the end of service I was in tears. I could feel this anger starting to build inside as I was driving to lunch. I was beginning to be short with my kids and I could just feel myself sliding into this place of complaining and lashing out. I could see this happening and I thought in my head Lord I don’t want to go there anymore. I don’t want to be upset at my children because I didn’t get to focus completely on the service. I felt this unction to call on the name of the Lord so I just started saying JESUS!!! I didn’t know how or what to pray for; but I began to call on His name. Pretty soon I began to speak in tongues and the Holy Ghost filled my car.

It dawned on me as I was reading this morning and thinking on last nights service that that had been my way of escape. The situation didn’t change in the fact that I still had missed the majority of that service; but my attitude had elevated so that I could be ok with that.

That may seem like a small thing; but it has given me faith that in EVERY temptation to come the Lord will send that way of escape. If I don’t see it at first I can call on the name of the Lord and He will show me that way of escape.


Sitting on my bed this afternoon before church and thinking on some things. Tonight we had church. Since Christmas fell on our regular church night we all still came in and had church. As I was thinking about church and getting ready these thoughts dropped in my head...I am so happy to be going to church tonight. It kind of surprised me at the feeling I was having. I always enjoy church when I get there; but sometimes it is hard to get up and go. Phillip wouldn't be able to go with me and there was no nursery so I would have to sit through church by myself with them. For some this may not be a big deal; but my children haven't quite learned to sit still yet. On any other given church service when I have to do this I grumble and complain about it the whole way there and then to Phillip on the phone the whole way home. So, the fact that I was so happy to go under these circumstances was odd. I knew in my mind that I would be going alone with them, and that "this" situation was going on; and that "that" had happened. My mind was carrying all these burdens; but my heart leaped within me to know that I could go one more time to worship the Lord. My Holy Ghost was excited. I am thankful!!! We have almost made it through another year. I AM STILL HERE!!! There was nothing so big that happened this year that caused me to lose my way. Now I am NOT saying that things haven't happened; but there has been nothing so big that HE couldn't handle!!

When I got to church I could feel the Holy Ghost right away. The band played Blessed Redeemer and I love that song. We were entering into his courts with praise. Then Sis. Luvanna Marshall began playing All Hail King Jesus; and from the first note the Holy Ghost filled that building. If I could've thought of a song to go with what I was feeling that would be it!!! The Holy Ghost welled up inside me and burst forth!!!

I am SO THANKFUL to have been in service tonight!!!

He is STILL God today!!

He is STILL able to heal!!!

He is STILL able to save!!!

He hears!!

He holds!!

He strengthens!!

He keeps!!!



We always hear the scenario of how we need the fire to get all the wrinkles out of our lives. They use an example of an iron ironing clothing. As I was ironing Sophia's skirt this morning a few thoughts dropped into my head. Her skirt had gotten twisted in the dryer and was almost unrecognizable. I ironed and I steamed; but the wrinkles just wouldn't come out! I turned the heat up and even held the iron on just a little bit longer trying to make the skirt cooperate. Finally I added a little water, and heat; and steam. Those wrinkles came right out. Thought how some wrinkles won't come out just with fire. They are so deep that it takes all three. Heat, steam; and water. The water was needed to make the skirt pliable so that the heat could do it's job. Hmmm... Maybe if I can stay pliable the heat won't take as long.