Pro 31:11 -12
-The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.
-She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.
Yesterday this scripture kept going over and over in my mind until I had to go look it up. As I read it I began to think about what it really was saying.
IF the wife will treat her husband well and not evil...then her husband will feel safe enough to give her his whole heart.
His whole heart. His whole devotion. His whole faithfulness. He wont have any need to fill that part of his heart with anything other than you!!
One reason that a husband may feel afraid to give us his whole heart is because maybe he has done that in the past (maybe more than once) and has lived to regret it. Maybe (for lack of a better example) he has said to himself "one more time" and handed you his heart and you promptly placed it into a meat grinder. I can say this because I have done this over and over myself. I have apologized, to only turn around and do the same things again. I know that there will be times that mistakes will come; but at the same time I have to actually be TRYING not to make them.
I feel like this scripture was talking to me. For so long I have griped and griped about wanting that whole hearted perfect relationship when in truth I WAS THE ONE preventing that very thing from happening. Could it be possible that I was sabotaging myself??? I think so.
If every time my husband gives me his heart I spend the next day, month, year picking the rest of him apart what's to stop him from taking his heart back; and worse yet someday giving up completely and giving his heart to someone else? Wow, that's a sobering thought!! I don't want my husband to feel safe with anyone; but me. I want to be the one that he gives his whole self to. Next to the Lord I WANT TO BE THE ONE!! I want him to feel safe with me. I want him to be able to trust me in everything. I want him to KNOW that I will stand beside him forever. If I want him to be the head of our home then I have let him know that I will follow!!!
I know that this is sobering; but the Lord is really working in our home and for that I am so thankful. A while back the Lord dealt with me that the greatest calling (regardless of what I do for the church) I have been given right now is to be the keeper of our home. It is my responsibility to keep the bad out and fill it with the good. I asked the Lord to help me with this and I feel that He is. By no means has this been an easy thing, and it has stirred up all kinds of things; but I really firmly believe that the Lord is cleaning house. The Lord is moving His church on and He is starting individually.