Wednesday, October 20, 2010
My shortcomings as a mother and wife are sometimes overwhelming. I think that I should be the supermom I see others being and then get frustrated when I just...fail. It was one of these times that I was completely at my whits end and I was crying out to the Lord, begging for help. I had watched a major character flaw that I fight daily manifest itself in my almost 3 year old. She is to young to know what was happening; but I felt like the Lord allowed me to see that so that I would realize that even though my children are still young, what I do, what I say; and how I act is affecting them. They pick up on EVERYTHING!!! It is becoming part of their character. Scary I know!!! I started praying immediately and asking the Lord to help me break that stronghold in my life and not to let me pass that on to my children. I felt like He heard me; but I also feel like it is something that cannot just be prayed away. It is something that is going to take some true dedication and hard work. If I want to be a godly example to my daughters it is something that I must work at. I must recognize the shortcomings in my life and then when the Lord shows them to me I must commit to do the work. It is not something that if just left alone it will go away. Neglect is also a sin!! So, I felt like the Lord asked me to do something. It may seem silly to some; but I felt like it was a step that I had to make. Before this I would wake up in the morning and DRAAAAGGGG out of bed. Go to get my children and start the day. By the first 10 minutes we were up that morning I am sure I had already lost my temper and therefore ruined the whole day. I would be aggravated at myself which then would cause me to take it out on my entire family. I wasn't really angry at them; but I took it out on them. This was making for a very miserable day/LIFE. I would then fall into bed that night to read my Bible and find myself repenting the entire time for all I had done that day. I didn't feel like I had made a step higher. I had failed MISERABLY!!! The Lord dealt with me about starting my days reading my Bible and praying before my children got up. The Bible says were to get our "daily bread". What is that bread??? Besides all the things we can think of it is our strength to fight that day. I was going all day without any strength. I have not been doing this very long and I don't want you to think that I don't still have bad days; but there is something to waking up before your children and talking to the Lord. Even if all I do is sit quietly after reading I feel like I am laying my day at His feet and asking Him to be the head of it. I feel like I am better equipped to face the trials of the day when I know that I have asked Him for help already. I know this was long; but I really feel that there is something in this for us. I believe that if we put Jesus first in every aspect of our lives He will fight our battles for us.