Ever feel like your life is held out in front of you and after you've had it inspected it is handed back to you for you to view with a whole new perspective. I felt like today that happened to me.
I got the rare opportunity to sit with a group of women from all different types of lives and just talk. I did a lot of listening because I felt like the Lord had ordered our conversation.
Sometimes in your life the devil, the flesh, your own mind whatever you want to call it can take a situation and magnify one small part of it in order to change your focus. You can zoom in on one thing and begin your very own pity party. Which unfortunately I am very good at doing. I get so sidetracked sometimes it takes a miracle to straighten me out.
I have spent the last week in this predicament.
I even decided that I was going to quit. In fact Sunday night I sat in a pew in church and thought to myself ... today is the day that I quit. I am tired of trying to keep my spirit right and treat people right with no results. Sooo...if you were in our service Sunday night you know that the first person who got up and talked basically tried my case. I knew the Lord was talking to me.
I still had lived in this state for a whole week and the feeling has been hard to shake.
As I arrived today to eat with my family I really was trying to have a good time; but the "whoa is me's" kept looming over me. Some things, I do have a reason to be concerned about; but there is nothing I can do about them so going over and over them just isn't doing me any good.
As I sat and listened to the conversation I actually began to feel the Lord deal with my "subject". Just in the things being talked about. As it progressed I got a candid look into a life that I know if I had to live I would fail miserably. As she talked you could feel her sincerity in trying to find the Lord in her situation and to do things right. She wants to learn everything the Lord is trying to teach her in her situation and is really seeking the Lord to lead her. Most people would look at her situation and would give her advice to give up and walk away; but the Lord for now is asking her to treat him right. To allow the situation to work out in her what it needs too. I felt that I had not just heard a sermon loud and clear; but experienced one. For a moment I stepped outside of my pity party and stepped into a moment where she even has the "right" to have a pity party; but instead is choosing to find the Lord in it. I felt like the Lord was telling me to get up off my "spoiled rotten brat behind" and go to work. I am nowhere near her situation and she has a much better spirit than I do. Even though my concerns are legitimate they are nothing in comparison. Instead of worrying about it so much I need to give it to the Lord. EVERYDAY!!! If I quit then all the work I have done up till now is for nothing. Instead of trying to carry all these burdens it is time to give them to the Lord and let Him worry about them. I just need to keep my mouth shut (will make me a perfect overcomer for sure :o) and take it one step at a time.
A lot of the times I spend my time looking at the long term so much that I miss out on the right now. I over analyze everything. How will what I do now affect my kids 10, 20, 30 years from now? In some respects that is good; but where it becomes detrimental is to spend all my time WORRYING about the future. If I take it one step at a time the future will take care of itself...better yet the LORD will take care of it.
I feel like the Lord took the time to give me a little lesson on humility today and I am thankful.
Lord help me to listen to the pillow and not require a 2 x 4.