What I am feeling today…


After such an encouraging and sobering weekend I awoke with so many things going on in my head.

It seems like so many people are going through things. Not just the little everyday things; but BIG major things. In the midst of that we have been having some…out of this world services. Not just in the worship; but in the words coming across the pulpit. Strong words. Words that make you consider. Words that are asking you for a choice. Decide. Commit.

I kept hearing the Lord say today…”I’ve given you a glimpse of things to come…”.

I feel like He’s showed us a glimpse of the types of things we could be facing on a smaller scale. Not so much the pressure from the outside yet; but as was said this weekend the pressure from within. Not just from others; but the Lord is turning up the fire in our own individual lives. Causing things to happen to push us closer to Him. To get plain with it…He wants us to give up COMPLETELY. Ashamedly I admit to not doing that. Telling the Lord He can have this much…and even that sometimes comes with an IF attached.

I kept thinking Lord you’ve given us a glimpse of the power, the glory, the joy; and yes the victory that’s ahead for your people, now am I ready to jump in with both feet? No reservations. He’s showed me what freedom really looks and feels like, now do I want it bad enough to GIVE UP myself, my goals, my dreams, my ideals to have Him? Am I ready to close my eyes and give Him my hand? To REALLY let Him lead???? To really walk in the spirit. Not just worship in the service; but to REALLY let it lead us. In our daily lives. Working on our jobs. Raising our children. In our marriages. Am I ready to let go and let HIM??

I was talking to a good friend this weekend and I said you know you don’t just make this decision once a day…every time you come to a situation (which may be 5,000 situations a day) you have to stop…consider…and follow the Lord. If you fall on one get up and confront the next situation. It is a DAILY…hourly…and yes sometimes minute to minute struggle; but as seen this weekend He has given us the power to do it. To overcome in those steps if we will take that spirit we all like to wade in and put it to use as it was really meant to be used.

For most of my life I think that I have worshipped and drank of the Holy Ghost; but have failed to USE it as the tool that it really is. It is to help us…give us power to overcome our very nature!!!! To change the person that we’ve always been into the person He has always known we could be.

Read: Romans 8!!!

Zechariah 4:6 “Then he answered and spake unto me, saying, This [is] the word of the LORD unto Zerubbabel, saying, Not by might, nor by power, but by my spirit, saith the LORD of hosts.”

The Lord is so near right now. Helping, wooing, encouraging. He’s giving so much grace and so much help to those that are willing to call on Him. Those willing to step on in and finally overcome those areas in their lives that have been holding them back for years. I can tell you it’s hard to sit in a service and not feel the victory in people’s lives. It’s almost like you can reach out and grab onto it. It’s that obtainable!!! It’s THAT real!!!! It’s right here!!!! Reach out and grab it!!!

Lay hold on your salvation the glory of the Lord is at hand!!!!

Power of Prayer

Something I've been thinking about tonight.  I overheard a younger woman asking a little bit older woman what bit of advice they would give a newly married couple.  As she was speaking my heart screamed out within me LEARN HOW TO PRAY.  Not that marriage is all difficulties (some parts are); but it is so important to develop that relationship with the Lord so that when the hard times come you know right where to go.  I felt like shouting it from the roof tops.  Don't be timid about calling on the name of the Lord.  He is the one that can make the difference between a marriage surviving or failing.  I know this for a fact.  I have failed to use this tool as often as I should and have lived to regret it severely sometimes!!!  You may not always have time to take an hour to pray; but if you've spent time doing that when you DO have time you will be able to tap into that strength and connection at a moments notice.  I wish I could get over how important this is by just writing it.

PRAY   PRAY   PRAY   PRAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

I love to read and have gained a lot of knowledge about life from books; but I have also found in marriage and in parenting that if I will take the time to talk to the Lord He will without fail lead me in the right direction.  He will give me the answer I need if I will go to Him.  When all else fails ask the Master.

My Little Bit turns 4

Today I have been reflecting a lot.  My oldest has turned 4 today and I am just thinking how blessed and thankful I am she is in my life.  I am not the greatest parent and she has been very patient with me while I learned; but when she tells me I Love You Momma...melts my heart.  I literally have 10,000 pics; but here is a little review in pics. 

Nana

PawPaw

Mamaw

Papaw

On the road home

Her foot to Phillip's thumb

Today at 4.

Well ain't God good!! 
To give us so many blessings
Undeserved that's what we are.
We ought to praise Him
Love and thank Him.
A little more today
And a whole lot more tomorrow!!!

She spent 17 days in the hospital.  It would take a year to tell everything that happened in those 17 days; but suffice it to say the Lord watched over our little girl and has continued to watch over her.  I ask the Lord often to make her a pillar in the house of the Lord.  I think He does have a special place for her someday.  As well as her little sister :o)

I've made up my Mind

{Can't get this song out of my head}



I've made up my mind (Commitment)

I've counted the cost (Putting Him first)

I'll take the way with the chosen of the Lord (Chosing a path)

Why should I worry or fret (Chosing to believe)

My God has never failed me yet (Standing on your faith)

I've made up mind I've counted the cost (Determination)

And I must go on (VICTORY!!!!)

Time Slipping Away

Tonight I was wrestling around with my little ones and the thought hit me..."how much time I have wasted worrying about trivial things".  Yes a clean house, clean clothes, etc...IS important; but how that I have allowed myself to become so frustrated in this area that sometimes I have forgotten to just ENJOY my children.  Sometimes just shoving them out of the way so I can have "ME" time.  The contrast to tonight playing and laughing with them was so glaring!!  As we rolled around on the floor laughing and playing I thought about how much fun I was having. 

I tend to get so caught up in the "The first five years are the most important years of your child's life" complex that I forget to have fun with them, hold them, love on them, play with them.  Instead of trying to make them into perfect little robots I need to just relax and LIVE.  Opportunities to teach them will present themselves.  Life will see to that...the Lord will see to that.  WOW!!!  It's a shame I am just realizing this as my oldest will soon be turning 4.

As I held and prayed with my kids tonight I thought what perfect little jewels I have been given.

My oldest is so loving and craves nothing; but my attention.  Yes this can be exhausting at times; but what an easy thing to give her.  Doesn't require money or some big to do!!  The things that make her happy are when I reach out and grab her hand or take the time to hold her tight.  How precious a gift to be given someone that loves to just be with me.  How fortunate I am to have the chance to love and be loved.

My youngest is loving as well; but instead loves you to play with her.  She loves to wrestle and tickle and read and play.  She also loves to spend time with me; but in a different way.  Setting up the table and playing tea party or dress up or babies makes her face shine with joy.  This also can be something that takes up a lot of my time; but what better use of my time then watching my children grow and learn.  How blessed the Lord has made me to give me someone to play with and learn from.

Tonight as my children sleep in the other room I feel my need ever more to lay down my life for them and my husband.  To put aside my "ideas" about life and just LIVE the wonderful life I have been given.  Help me Lord to take it one day at a time and hold onto the moments I have been given.  Not to stress out about "making" them into good girls; but instead to realize that they "ARE" good girls and take the teaching opportunities as they come.  To understand that my job is to teach, to guide; and to encourage WITH LOVE.  

Tonight marks Day 6 of Potty Training "Camp" for my baby.  She is 2 years and 5 months on the 5th. She has gone for 2 Days with no accidents and is waking up completely dry.  WooHOO!!!!

I am so proud of her!!!  After pottying in my shoes (yes you read that right :o)  on Friday I had about given up hope and then it seems that something clicked and she got it.  Thank you Lord :o)

My babies are growing up.  Tonight I feel the time slipping right through my fingers. 

It's not her actual birthday yet but: 

My little bit was 3 lbs and 3 ozs when she was born and will be four in a couple of weeks and I am realizing how that time flies so quickly. Even though it seems so long ago I can still close my eyes and I am immediately transported back to her room in the NICU. Holding her in my arms…singing to her hymns…and encouraging her to keep pushing on!! Oh how the Lord carried me through those times and blessed me with a beautiful, smart; and loving little girl when it seemed that all hope was gone!! Thank you Lord for the hard times that have taught me to cherish the good times!!!

Day 1 of 3 Day Potty Training for My Last Little One

Well today is my baby's first official day of potty training.  She is 2 years and 5 months old.  She really hasn't shown a lot of interest; but I thought I would try it anyway. 

She woke up this morning and I told her "No more pull ups".  At first she fought me a little about having to go without a diaper...she said her hiney was cold LOL!!!  After I put a pair of leggings on her she was fine.  I then proceeded to pump her full of juice.  Some say to limit their juice intake; but I have found that they learn what it feels like to need to go quicker when it is happening more often.  It worked for Sophia so why not try it again.  She had about 4 accidents and each time I would holler RUN TO THE POTTY...RUN RUN RUN!!!  :o)  I'm sure we looked quite ridiculous; but there she would go...full speed... going potty all the way with mommy and big sister close behind!!!!  LOL.
After a few times of this she shocked me by just jumping up...she said she had to go potty...took off running...and made it to the potty!!!  After which she received a special "Potty Dance" courtesy of her mom and big sister!!!  She then got a couple M&M's after for doing such a good job. 

She has sense gone #2 as well today.  I did have to take her and encourage her to do it when I could tell she needed to; but we'll worry about her feeling that tomorrow.  For now I wanted her just to go since I know some kids are a little scared of that part.

She is down for a nap (which I am sure she probably will not make it through without an accident; but she may surprise me) and so far so good. 

I did pray for both of us this morning...that I could be patient and that she could get the concept down.  Thank you Lord for hearing my prayer in the little things :o)

Today has been a good day!! Lastnight we heard about the promises of God and that if we believe on them He promises not to fail to reward. We sang "He That Overcometh", "He That Believeth", and "I Believe In a God". I don't remember ever feeling the Lord back something up so strongly. It seemed like He was telling all of us "You CAN do this!!! Just believe in the promises I have given you. They ARE true...I WILL NOT fail!!!" Then to back that up Bro. Brown gave a WONDERFUL message!!!! Words can not even describe how much I gained from this service. As he walked us through the Bible I felt my mind just open up and take it all in!! It was...life changing!! Then today I felt the Lord saying "Keep believing." I would come to a situation and the words JUST BELIEVE echoed in my heart!!! He helped me every step of the way!!! I also had this song come to me as I was praying.


"We have a wonderful Savior. He's on His throne. He will never forsake us. Nor leave us alone. He gave a wonderful promise. HE CANNOT FAIL. And by His SPIRIT we SHALL prevail!!!!!"

I recommend ordering the service - Humble 9-25-2011

Sis. Laura Walters can help you out :o)

When you know the tricks used against you, then you know just what weapon to use to fight back with. Today I used Reading, Prayer, and Songs.

Climb Up a Little Bit Higher

Sometimes the Lord lets you know in His own special way that He is on your side.  At 2:00 am on my birthday 9-11-2011 the Lord gave me  this little chorus.  I thought it was significant that He says two times "He is with you"...I felt like He was making this point to me to keep on going :o)  Thank you Lord for my little birthday blessing :o)

"Climb up a little bit higher
Lay down your heavy load.
For He is with you
And you are not alone.
The way may be narrow
And the travelers are few;
But the Lord is with you
And He will see you through."

Was asked at a wedding if I had any advice for the new couple.  I thought to myself YES let me write you a book of all the lessons I have learned from the things I have done wrong in 12 years; but one thing struck me as very important. 

Learn to stop and listen and to be willing to say your sorry when needed.  Try not to discuss things in the heat of the moment.  Give the Lord room to deal with you and try to listen for his leading in any "discussion" you are having. 

Phillip and I are both very hot tempered and sometimes just fly off the handle at each other.  That is when darts are thrown instead of charity being practiced.  We both fail at restraint sometimes (a lot of the time); but are learning that when we really slow down and do our best not to injure each other in the process we get a lot more accomplished.  Things, issues; and misunderstandings can be resolved when both parties are willing to stop and really listen to the words the other person is saying...without injecting our own feelings into the situation. 

When you can admit to each other when you've done something wrong and really trust that they wont use it against you, your walk is so much sweeter :o)  You love each other.  You are both doing your best to serve the Lord.  Sometimes it is easy to be "ALL YOURSELF" with the one you love and you forget that he/she is also your brother/sister in the Lord.  If there is anyone that you are to do your best to show charity with...to practice the things you've been taught on how to treat someone it should be your best friend...your traveling partner...your spouse.

We of course are NOT there yet at all; but we are learning together.    

WHY I Fight

Sometimes I ask myself “why do I even try”?

Today I was thinking about that and some answers started coming to me…

WHY I Fight?

I am fighting for:    A marriage that this world says that I don’t even have to if I don’t want to.

I am fighting for:    Children that this world says their generation isn’t even worth it anymore.

I am fighting for:    A salvation that this world says doesn’t exist and the devil tries to convince me daily that I will never obtain.

I am fighting for:    A life that this world does everything it can to destroy by promoting and pouring corruption into every aspect of our daily lives.

I am fighting for:    The right to worship the Lord in everything that I do.


I am sure that there are many more; but these are some of the reasons why I get up and try again every day. These are reasons why I bow my knees in prayer for strength to be what the Lord has asked me to be. These are reasons why I take the time every day to open my Bible and search for the nourishment that will help me make it that day.

Day in and day out these are the reasons why I try.

A soft answer turneth away wrath...think before you speak.

If your Bible is falling apart; your life is probably staying together.

I have been known to say to new wives

"Don't make a habit of anything

you don't want to be expected to do for the next 50 years".

I would like to change my philosophy if I may...

"Start and work on these habits when you're first married

so fifty years from now they will not seem like habits;

but instead special acts of love".

Friends

I would like to take the time to say something about friendship. 

I have been very blessed in my life to have some amazing women in my life.  These women walk in the same shoes as I do so to speak (or have in the past).  They are all striving for a prize that cannot be measured by man.  They do this while working, or staying at home.  While being wives, or preparing to be wives.  While raising children, or once again preparing to raise them.  These women are the cream of the crop.  They are called, chosen; and becoming faithful to things that the Lord requires in their lives. 

I say that I am blessed to know these women because they encourage me to be a better person.  They are there when I need to talk and they are not afraid to talk when I need to listen.  Even if they don't agree with everything that I do or say...they are still THERE.

Even if we don't speak EVERY service for lengthy amounts of time, just seeing them across the room sometimes gives me the very strength I need. 

They are strong, steady; and true friends.  I get to work beside them in this life and someday WHEN we get to see Jesus I know that they will be standing there beside me.  Ready to work in the next!!  :o)

So to you...my friends...I say thank you.  Thank you for being a friend to me and hopefully I can be a friend to you.   

Walkin' Out of the Valley

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tizwr1BF6mM

Sometimes when you’re in the valley you can get so comfortable that you can’t get out. You may SEE that you’re in the valley, and KNOW that you should get out; but you’ve tried to get out before…you know how hard it is and you just would rather not try.


I know what it is like to live there. You are absolutely miserable and you know because you’ve been taught how to get out of the valley; but you just don’t have the energy anymore to do the work. You are spiritually iron deficient :o)

I recently had some health issues that required some blood work to be done. You see I was having some symptoms that were making me sick and I couldn’t diagnose it on my own so I had to go see the doctor. (Literally; but I am using this experience to get across a spiritual point) The doctor ran several tests to determine what was wrong. A little bit like the candle of the Lord searching out the very inward parts of our soul. When the results came back I was extremely low on iron. He began to explain my symptoms:

Weakness, fatigue, or lack of stamina.

Shortness of breath during exercise.

Headache.

Difficulty concentrating.

Irritability.

Dizziness.

I was shocked to find that this deficiency in one little area had caused all these little symptoms. Who knew that something so simple could make so much of a difference in the way I felt and acted.

(Are you getting the picture yet?)

The same thing can happen to you spiritually. You can be lacking in an area…prayer, fasting, reading, faithfulness etc…and it can have extreme side effects. This is why if you are in the valley sometimes it is just easier to give up. You are lacking in the areas that give you the strength to fight.

What did my doctor prescribe? A supplement that I have to take EVERYDAY to replenish and maintain what I have lost. Eventually my health will be back to normal; but if I fail to maintain my supplements I will be right back in the same condition.

I was sitting and thinking about this today and it occurred to me that you have to DECIDE to do the work. You can’t just say “Oh yes…that is what I need to do and not do it”. My iron will not be assimilated by osmosis…it must be ingested!!

If you turn to the Lord and take that one step…ask Him to help you find the strength you lack…then He will meet you. I just read this today:

Psalm 34:6-7

- This poor man cried, and the Lord heard him, and saved him out of all his troubles.

- The angel of the Lord encampeth round about them that fear him, and delivereth them.

Psalm 34:15

- The eyes of the Lord are upon the righteous, and his ears are open unto their cry.

What does this mean? That if you are trying to do things right the Lord WILL hear you. One thing I keep trying to instill in my girls is that mistakes happen. Our ultimate goal is to no longer make them; but while you are learning they will happen. The key is to be like David and when you have made a mistake, fall on your face before the Lord and repent. Acknowledge what you’ve done and get up.

Several times the Lord pleaded with Israel and told them that if they would repent and TURN from their wicked ways that He would restore them. First we must repent; but then we must turn away from those old habits and desires. If we do that then He has promised to give us more than those things could ever bring. Joy, peace, happiness; and ultimately ETERNAL LIFE!!!

I could give you several examples in my own life where the Lord has dealt with me in a church service, and then blessed me abundantly; but then when I get home I automatically start the same routine. For me it’s not what you call an big bad obvious sin; but it's something that the Lord is asking me to limit my exposure to. He is asking me to quit filling my mind up with things that are not Him.

I testified a couple weeks ago about that little voice inside you that says “No No” when you’re about to do something He doesn’t approve of. It was mentioned about walking in the spirit and I thought how do you do that?? You learn to walk in the spirit by listening to that little voice and obeying it. That voice is the spirit of the Lord trying to direct you, and when you learn to listen and obey that voice (even in the little things that seem silly) you will be walking in the spirit.

Be encouraged and turn your eyes to the Lord. He will help you :o)

In the Midst of It All...

I LOVE THIS SONG!!!! 

I can feel the Holy Ghost everytime I listen to this. Isn't this what it's all about. Looking past everything and raising our hearts in praise for the fact that HE IS!! So encouraging!!  He never promised that we wouldn't have to endure; but He did promise to never leave us in the midst alone.  Thank you Lord.  Bless your Holy name!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iBg8ekzaUuo

I Will Follow Thee

I will...I will follow thee!!! 
Over mountains high
And through the stormy sea.
And when I hear your voice Lord
NO MATTER HOW I FEEL
I will lay my burdens down
And I will follow thee.

No matter how I feel...

No matter if I am tired...I will keep a good attitude...
No matter if I am frustrated with my children...I will still gather them in my arms and hold them tight...
No matter if I have a right to say something...I will keep my mouth shut...
No matter if I have told them a thousand times...I will tell them one thousand and one more...
No matter if the world says I can't make it...I will still strive...
No matter if I feel that I can't go another step...I will take one more step...He'll take two...
No matter if I have fought this battle over and over...I will fight it again until I overcome it...

I will lay down all the feelings and thoughts that oppress me and I will follow the Lord!!

I CHOOSE to follow the Lord. 
I CHOOSE to overcome my flesh.
I CHOOSE to fight the good fight.

It is my CHOICE to follow the Lord.

Help me Lord to say yes.

Confessions of a Burnt Out Momma with Renewed Conviction

Well...here I am again.  It seems like it has been a long time since I have written anything.  It's not that I didn't have anything to say; but more like I was working on a testimony :o)  Still am.

I wrote a post a while back about trying to juggle...well even as I wrote that post I still was doing my best to maintain everything. 

Recently we went out of town for a week and left our children at home with their grandparents.  Were we ever in for a surprise.  I know that my children are just children; but it seems like the Lord has been magnifying some things for me that are developing in their character.  I feel like He gave us an object lesson so that we can re-evaluate our parenting strategy.  I know that our parents may dispute this; but I was shocked at the way that our children treated them.  They were down right disrespectful at times.  Grant it my children are only 2 and almost 4; but I can see patterns that are developing in them that if we don't start working on, they will shape their very character. 

As I commented on another friends blog I don't want my children to grow up and have no respect for authority. 

Monday a week ago was our first day back with our children and I tell you what...they tested and pushed and then did it some more.  This made for a very difficult week.  We both felt like we were losing a battle with them. 

Sunday night as we drove home from a day at church and dinner with friends I started to talk to Phillip about the things we had been observing.  That day had been especially eye opening.  It seemed that our eldest daughter ignored everything we said or else argued with us consistently every time we told her to do something.  As we were heading to dinner that night she proceeded to explain to us how that we were NOT her boss.  I don't have to tell you that I had to count to 10 (a couple of times) before I could respond.  As we talked I told Phillip that I wasn't sure what to do about it.  I felt like she had absolutely no respect for our authority; and that I was worried if we didn't do something it would only get worse.

By the time we arrived at home I felt like the Lord had given us some direction.  Here is a little of what we will be working on.

1)  CONSISTENCY:

Failure:  We both get tired of telling them the same things over and over and over.  Sometimes it feels like 100 times a day on one thing.  So what do we do...sometimes we just let it slide so we don't have to deal with it.

Result:  We have a child who knows that one if she pushes us enough we will give in and two that if we don't give in this time she can ask again and we will most likely give in the next time.  She learns that what we say doesn't really matter.

Solution:  Stop being lazy and go to work.  We are the parents and nobody ever said it would be easy or fun all the time; but none the less IT IS OUR JOB!!  We chose to have these children now it's up to us to accept our responsibility and do it right.  We are not just raising people; but we are trying to raise Godly children that the Lord can use in His kingdom.


2)  TOO MANY CHANCES:

Failure:  "Go do _____________!!!"  "Did you hear me?"  "So and so, GO do ____________________!!!"  "If you don't do ____________, you're going to get in trouble."  This can go on and on and on.

Result:  We now have a child who knows how to stall for time.  She knows that if she waits us out we will most likely eventually give up.  Later down the road, we have a teenager that when told to do something just stares at us with a blank look on her face or worse yet walks off and ignores what we or any other authority (youth leader, pastor, elder in the church, police, teachers, etc...) has said.  Later on the possibility is that we have an adult who refuses council or instruction from anyone...even the Lord.  Why should they care it's been "THEIR" way all their life. They don't believe in consequences because there were never any there.  Sobering!!

Solution:  Teach them that every act of disobedience or disrespect has a consequence; and then act on that consequence as soon as the offense is committed.  This also ties right in with your consistency.  We have to follow through or our consequences are just empty threats.  I know this is so exhausting at times; but if we fail to do our job right now we will be whining about it later when our children our too old to be taught and we have lost complete control.

Lord help us.

I've added some links to some things I am going to start trying along with the two mentioned above.
They are a chore chart and a discipline chart.  Also, there is an idea I saw somewhere for something that can be used for older children.  It's called a consequence jar.  In it are things that no one likes to do like cleaning baseboards, cleaning the toilet, shining the silverware, pulling weeds...etc... To me it sounded like a really neat idea.  It shows them that they are ultimately in control of whether not they behave; and that there WILL be a consequence for every offense even if they are too big to spank .  If they commit an offense then they must go and pick their own consequence.  That's just a little food for thought.  I may even try this on my oldest with things that she can do.  So far I am in search of the thing that works for her.

Also, if you have any suggestions or comments on this subject I would greatly appreciate it.  I am trying to find the Lord's guidance for us in this area right now and welcome any heavenly inspired advice :o)

Hope the following links are useful to you.

http://www.focusonthefamily.com/radio.aspx?ID={D90864D9-EE84-45C9-83BD-6438D293F001}

http://www.parentingministry.org/component/content/article/14-main-menu/150-parenting-is-a-ministry-video

http://www.confessionsofahomeschooler.com/blog/2011/01/chore-chart-cards.html

http://www.confessionsofahomeschooler.com/blog/2011/05/chore-chart-discipline-cards.html

http://www.confessionsofahomeschooler.com/blog/2010/02/super-mom-vs-abiding-mom.html