The Good Guy Club

To all my Family…and those that might as well be.

I was sitting and thinking Sunday about Matt and Annie’s wedding. I was soooo happy for them. I thought to myself “well good…another one joins the good guy club”.

As I thought about it these words started coming to me:

I would like to raise my glass today to all the good guys. What do I mean you ask? Well, it takes a very special man to love the women in this family. Now before you get offended let me explain!! :D

It takes a very special man to understand, love; and even at times admire the unique breed that we are.

We are a strong, passionate, opinionated, loyal; and headstrong group of women. You know I’m right…why because I of course, am one of you :o) We are more than happy to admit that we are wrong and ask for forgiveness…when we really are. We fight with a passion; and love with that same or even a greater passion. If we are behind you…we are behind you 100%. No backing down; but unfortunately if we are against you…you better pray :o) The Lord is working on this in all of us I am sure. We believe what we believe and we will stand for it against the strongest of opposition.

Now the gentle side…we are loving and gentle. We are thankful, honored; and yes even proud to be wives, mothers, daughters, aunts, sisters; and grandmothers. We take our job seriously and will do our very best to do everything we can to make sure our family has what they need and want. We will stand by our men and defend them to anyone that deems them less than adequate. We don’t have many qualms when it comes to calling on the Lord in a time of need; but sometimes do have to struggle against self-sufficiency.

I could go on and on; but you get my point. It takes a strong, confident; and unique man to love and appreciate the women that we are. They are MANLY men. Not afraid to voice their opinion or authority when needed; but also willing to be a quiet and calming influence for each of us. They are confident in their leadership and not afraid to BE leaders.

You see I have one of these special good guys!! His name is Phillip Wyrick. He is my rock. My strength. My comfort and my joy. I know that you may think WOW he must be something special…well…HE IS!! He has loved me in the good and stayed true even in the bad. When I have been unfair and hurtful, he has forgiven. When I have not thought and said things I didn’t mean he has let the words roll of his back and not held a grudge. And on and on and on…

So, if you are one of these women I am talking about; or if you don’t actually share the same DNA but seem to have the same “specialness” as we do, would you join me today and take a moment to wrap your arms around your good guy? Let him know that you appreciate him loving you and standing by you…even in the midst of all your special quirks!!

Here’s to all the good guys out there!!!

Preparing Your Spirit for your MAN

http://www.parentingmiracles.net/2011/06/preparing-myself-to-honor-my-husband/


A few thoughts on this article...

I agree with all the things she lists; but I thought of one more...

I have to prepare my spirit to meet my husband...

What do I mean by this?  Well some days you have really BAD days.  Who do you want to share those things with???  Your best friend.  Your husband. 

It would be so easy when he walks in the door ( I really have to work on this one) to unload all that baggage we have been carrying all day on him so that I can feel better; but how is that fair?  After all...he has come home with his own baggage too.  

When my husband came home last night we both had really bad days.  Me because of myself; but his day was filled with problems at work.  When he walked in I said "hey babe".  The kids hugged him and then he sat down on the floor and played with them.  I asked him how his day went and I could tell by his answers that he really didn't want to talk about it.  I left him to play with the girls and went about fixing dinner.  I noticed that how having him home...get this...made me feel so much happier than I had been all day.  (If you follow my blog you know that this is major growth :o)  I didn't unload all my junk and he left his outside the door and we had a really pleasant evening.  He didn't enter into a home full of chaos; but a home that welcomed him in.  Whispered softly..."sit down, take your shoes off; RELAX"!!

I know that we are to be able to share everything with each other...and I feel that we can; but sometimes you just need to leave it all outside your house and enjoy being.

On those days that I have really BAD days it would do me well to take some time before he comes home to prepare my spirit for him.  Analyze all the "drama" I have had and leave what is not important unsaid.  He doesn't have to know EVERY TIME I yelled at the kids or put them in time out through the day.  He NEEDS to know that even though we both have had long days that he can sit down on the couch and feel peace.  After all the hustle and bustle of the day the only thing he wants to do is be with us.

Take a little time out today before your man gets home and prepare your spirit to greet him.  It may require a little prayer sometimes; but it will make your home a lot more peaceful.  After all one of the things I try to remember (and fail at a lot) is that YOU control the atmosphere in your home.  YOU are there day in and day out.  YOU have a chance to choose war or peace!! 

Lord help me to choose peace!! 

Daddy's Belly

When our girls are eating sometimes if they are piddling instead of eating we ask them to let us feel there belly.  We say "nope...not quite big enough yet...".  They giggle and go on eating a little more.  Today we were eating lunch and the conversation went as follows:

Sophia:  Mom I am finished.

Me:  I still see a lot of food.  I don't think your belly is quite big enough.

Sophia:  Daddy's belly is reeeeeeeallllly big.

Me:  Oh yeah?

Sophia:  Yes it is.  And mom?  Why does it just stay that way?

Me:  Well...it just does.

Sophia:  I want a belly as big my daddy's.

Me:  Ok.

I was trying very hard not to laugh because I knew that she was very very serious :o)

Working the Road

One of the single most important pieces of advise I have been given lately came in a discussion we had a few weeks ago. 

"Remember that when your children are gone you will still be married."

About a year ago the Lord really began dealing with me to work on my relationship with my husband.  It was funny because He had to get me into that position to where I realized that I NEEDED to work on it.  Sad I know; but really I think I had all my priorities backwards.  I was a 1st a child of God, 2nd a mom; and 3rdly a wife.  Phillip often got pushed to the side.  After all I was fighting for my salvation and the training of my children.  :-(  Now looking back after about a year of hard lessons I wonder why I couldn't see this before.  What was it that was blocking my vision.  Being a child of God and striving for the Bride IS important.  Being a mom and trying to raise Godly children IS important; but when did I forget that being a Godly wife and a help meet to my husband was also just as important.  After all we are on this road to salvation together.  We are raising OUR children together.  We are in this marriage TOGETHER. 

I don't want you to think that we were on the road to divorce; but I do believe that if I had continued on the path that I was on that we may very well have ended up there.  I was hurting my husband.  How you ask...my looks, my comments to others, by me saying  "you always do ____"; and the list goes on.  I feel like the Lord led me to the 30 challenge I talk about on here.  I believe that was a turning point for me.  I watched as my whole perspective changed.  As I began to refrain from those looks, words, accusations I watched our relationship change.  I am not saying that now we have this perfect relationship because that is not true; but I am learning.  I am learning to put my husband in the place he deserves.  He deserves my respect and honor.  If for no other reason; but because he puts up with me.  I am learning that when I talk down to him; or about him to others it cuts away at that relationship I am trying to build.  Even if I am disappointed I am supposed to build him up not tear him down.  How do I feel when the tables are turned?  Do I like to be belittled or to have all my faults laid out on the table?  Does it make me feel good to know that my husband is disappointed in me?  No, so why would I want to make my husband feel that way?  Why would I want him to feel less than he is?  Our words are so much more powerful than we know.  (Proverbs 18:21  "Death and life [are] in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof.") Through this process I have learned to look at my husband differently. 

I told a story to a friend of mine the other night...

When I began to look at Phillip as a possible soul mate I was attracted to him because of who he was.  A strong, confident; loving young man.  A man full of life and who had a special light in his eyes.  I always made the statement that if he ever became a mousy little man who let me walk all over him then I wouldn't even look his direction!!  I didn't want to be married to a man who walked around defeated all the time.  I told her that after 11 and a half years of marriage I almost saw that light disappear.  After years of railings from me I could have lost the qualities that I fell in love with.  Thank the Lord that He opened my eyes before it was too late.  Now I am working on repairing that trust.  That confidence that he once had in me.  (Proverbs 31:11 "The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.")  I fail...often; but I haven't given up.  I want to be a strong Godly wife for my strong Godly man!!  I want him to call me blessed.  I want him to be known not because of the embarrasement his wife causes him; but for the good that he has done.  (Proverbs 31:23  "Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land.")

I just had a thought...one of my biggest hurdles is putting my trust in my husband as a leader.  I know this sounds horrible; but I felt like sometimes I know what's best.  We were arguing one night and he said "it alwyas has to be Davita's way".  I of course denied it; but deep down I knew that was true.  He in a few words told me that I didn't respect his position as man of the house.  I didn't.  I felt awful.  I began to ask myself how do I change that?  After so long (over 11 years) of thinking one way, how do I change that?  The answer sounds really simple...you have to trust God to lead your husband.  Ultimately you have to take your worries and concerns to the Lord and trust HIM to take control.  Whew...easier said than done I think!!  I don't think that voicing your opinion is wrong if it is done in love and if he knows that in the end I will respct his decision.  Up until now that is not how I have been doing things. Shame on me; but I am learning with the Lord's help.  I want to put him in his GOD GIVEN place and learn to be content with that.  That has to be learned.  (Titus 2:4 "That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children...")  You would think that these things come with being a woman; but they don't.  Our nature is what comes with being a woman!!  :o) 

The 30 day challenge helps you to look at your husbands good qualities and not the bad.  It changes your focus.  In a round about way by looking and focusing on the good things about your husband it gives you the confidence to actually put your faith and trust in him.

I so appreciate the Lord for taking the time to lead me and expose the areas in my life that need fine tuning.  The process by no means is easy and at times very painful; but I am thankful that He doesn't leave us in the condition we are in.  He lifts us up out of the filth that we are in, dusts us off; and gives us the grace to change.

So as I continue to work on my relationship with my husband and my children I know that I am doing the will of the Lord.  I am doing exactly what he has called me to do right now.  He has called me first to be a helpmeet,  and second to be a mother; and by doing these things to the very best of my ability I am serving Him as a child of God.      

In My Father's Eyes

Today as I watched my girls run in to show their Daddy their new Easter dresses I remembered something I heard a long time ago...

"Inside every woman is a little girl who still wants to look pretty for her daddy."

As I thought about this I thought how true.  The power to shape my daughter's very self-esteem rests in this one little scenario.  At that very moment he has the opportunity to teach them so much. 

As they twirl he exclaims with all the enthusiasm he can muster..."OH...you look SO pretty"! 
To which both little girls beam and smile...knowing deep down inside that their Daddy thinks they are beautiful.  It matters not what anyone else may say because at that moment their Daddy is their whole world!! 

I thought about myself...

I was 28 or 29 years old and I walked into church in an outfit I wasn't sure looked right on me.  Even married with 2 children.  My Dad saw me as I walked in and said "My, doesn't that outfit look nice on you".  Even at my age I walked a little bit taller. 

I also thought about my husband...

Now instead of needing my Dad's approval as much (I still do need it) I now look to my husband for that little extra assurance that I am OK.  Still when I get dressed I walk in an ask my husband if I look alright.  Sometimes I get a half hearted  "you look fine"; but then there are those occasions when I get the double take ;o) 

I agree with the above statement...in every woman there is a little girl looking for approval. 

His Heart Doth Safely Trust

Pro 31:11 -12

-The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.


-She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.

Yesterday this scripture kept going over and over in my mind until I had to go look it up.  As I read it I began to think about what it really was saying. 

IF the wife will treat her husband well and not evil...then her husband will feel safe enough to give her his whole heart. 

His whole heart.  His whole devotion.  His whole faithfulness.  He wont have any need to fill that part of his heart with anything other than you!!

One reason that a husband may feel afraid to give us his whole heart is because maybe he has done that in the past (maybe more than once) and has lived to regret it.  Maybe (for lack of a better example) he has said to himself "one more time" and handed you his heart and you promptly placed it into a meat grinder.  I can say this because I have done this over and over myself.  I have apologized, to only turn around and do the same things again.  I know that there will be times that mistakes will come; but at the same time I have to actually be TRYING not to make them.

I feel like this scripture was talking to me.  For so long I have griped and griped about wanting that whole hearted perfect relationship when in truth I WAS THE ONE preventing that very thing from happening.  Could it be possible that I was sabotaging myself???  I think so.

If every time my husband gives me his heart I spend the next day, month, year picking the rest of him apart what's to stop him from taking his heart back; and worse yet someday giving up completely and giving his heart to someone else?  Wow, that's a sobering thought!!  I don't want my husband to feel safe with anyone; but me.  I want to be the one that he gives his whole self to.  Next to the Lord I WANT TO BE THE ONE!!  I want him to feel safe with me.  I want him to be able to trust me in everything.  I want him to KNOW that I will stand beside him forever.  If I want him to be the head of our home then I have let him know that I will follow!!!

I know that this is sobering; but the Lord is really working in our home and for that I am so thankful.  A while back the Lord dealt with me that the greatest calling (regardless of what I do for the church) I have been given right now is to be the keeper of our home.  It is my responsibility to keep the bad out and fill it with the good.  I asked the Lord to help me with this and I feel that He is.  By no means has this been an easy thing, and it has stirred up all kinds of things; but I really firmly believe that the Lord is cleaning house.  The Lord is moving His church on and He is starting individually.